Unless It's Fatal...

You Should Want Better

2011-02-24T17:46:00.000-05:00

Since I have been gone, I have gotten deeper into my hobbies. When I last posted, I had just started rapping as a fun little hobby. I am still rapping, and I still enjoy it as much as I did when I first started. I have a bunch of songs now and now and hopefully I will put together a mixtape soon. If I ever had the desire to sell my music I would do the best I can to make sure that it was the absolute product that I could put out.

The same ~~goes~~ should go for everyone else.

About a year ago I took up another hobby. The story behind how I got into it is not very interesting so I will not get into that, but I will say that once I got started I have been hooked ever since. This new hobby of mine......making jewelery. As it turns out, I am not that bad at it, but I will say that it is a pretty expensive hobby to maintain. Unlike the music that I make, I have a desire to sell my jewelry. At this point I have sold or given away the majority of what I have made. From what people tell me, I do pretty good work. Like I said before, when I am selling something I make sure that it is the absolute best product that I am capable of producing. I am a perfectionist, and I would NEVER sell someone something that I was not confident it. Even when I am making it with the knowledge that I will be giving it away, I put as much time and effort into the piece as if I were going to sell it. If something were to ever break or come loose or anything like that, I would gladly replace/fix the piece free of charge.

Sadly, most companies do not operate with the same ideals.

For example.....let's look at the idea of warranties.

If you ask me, a company that gives you anything less that a LIFETIME warranty has no confidence in their product. To me a LIFETIME warranty says, "We are absolutely sure that we have made the best possible product that we are able to make, but we admit we make mistakes. If it turns out that we have make a mistake, we will fix it for you free of charge". Any other warranty says to me "We are pretty sure that our product is good enough to last X number of years, but anytime after that we have no clue what's gonna happen. GOOD LUCK!" There would be no need for a warranty the company were to MAKE IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. It is not that they are unable to make it correctly because there are too many smart people in the world for ignorance. I think that the RIGHT is is the slightly more expensive way which does not make the board happy.

DISCLAIMER: Of course I am referring to the product going bad because of a non-user error. If you do something stupid and mess it up then it is your fault.

Another example.....Playstation 3 & XBOX

Both of the video game systems have their respective issues (YLOD, RROD) that essentially render the entire machine useless. These issues are not due to any error the user made, the systems just fail on their own. To make matters worse, apparently there is an acceptable percentage of failure. Meaning that when a company puts out a product, it is acceptable for a certain number of them to fail. Again...NO CONFIDENCE IN THEIR PRODUCT. Now that the knife is in, they twist it. Apparently they charge YOU to have it fixed if it is out of warranty. I do not understand why the buyer of a product is responsible for getting said product fixed if all the buyer did was use the product as directed.

ACCOUNTABILITY

This is all that I am asking for. If your product is a piece of crap, own up to it and admit that it is crappy. Admit that you really do not care about consumer happiness and you are just looking to turn a profit. We all know it anyway. No one would be shocked if Chevy held a press conference and said, "Yes. We are aware that the Aztec is the ugliest vehicle on the road. We promoted the person who designed it. We also know that the Malibu is just awful. We have a car coming in the next year or two that we promise will disappoint and frustrate all that look at it, let alone buy it. We do not care because you still buy it and we are still making money." No one think twice because they are just stating facts.

This is an issue that I do not think that anyone can change ever. As long as making a profit is more important that consumer satisfaction then we are going to continue to see companies stick it to the consumer. We need to start holding these companies accountable for their products. If, by some miracle, were to collectively boycott PS3 and XBOX they would have no choice but to listen to what we have to say and deal with our concerns. I think that Toyota is feeling the effects of this now. Ever since their cars started killing people they have been working to repair their image and get their customers back. The sad this is that people had to die for everyone to pay attention. No one would have said a word if it was just a short in the circuit that made the radio not work.

Anyhow....

I feel like I got my point across.

~sTeW~

When Other People Get Colds.....We Get Pneumonia

2011-02-18T17:01:00.000-05:00

I guess it is only right that my 100th post would be my first post in about 2 years. I have been telling myself that I would be get back to blogging for a long time, but I have not had the adequate motivation to return.....

At least not until today.

Before I get started I am going to start by saying that I am going to fill in the gaps intermittently as I continue posting. It would be boring to just fill in all of the gaps in one long post. My idea is, as I post I will be able to relate whatever I am posting about to something that has happened recently.

Anyhow....let's get started.

Presently I am back at my alma mater (North Carolina A&T State University) teaching Physics labs and assisting with the recruitment efforts of the department. We are attempting to increase the number of under represented groups in physics. When you last heard from me I was studying at The Pennsylvania State University working on my Masters in Geosciences. I have successfully attained that degree, and after three years I am happy to be closer to home.

During my time at Penn State I taught Introduction to Geology labs and had the opportunity to interact with the students on the same level that I am interacting with the students here at A&T. Conventional wisdom would tell you (though that wisdom is COMPLETELY incorrect) that the students at a PWI would be LEAPS and BOUNDS ahead of the students a HBCU, especially in the areas of science and math. Many people would lead you to believe that if a student wants to get ahead in life then an education at a PWI is the correct route to take. I do not want to address the latter assumption, though I'm sure I will eventually, I will address the former.

When it come to BASIC mathematical and scientific concepts students EVERYWHERE are not coming into college with an adequate amount of proficiency. I can not speak for the skills of students at the time of graduation because the labs I have taught are taken within the first two years of entering college. I CAN say with a fair amount of confidence that kids are not getting any smarter, but I do not know if they are getting more stupid.

My issue does not come from the fact that the students do not know the material. Ignorance is a problem that is easily fixed with study and hard work. I start to become irritated when the student does not know the material, does not want to learn it, and does not see why they need to know it. Hence the title of this post.

When I taught the geology classes at Penn State there were some students in the class that CLEARLY would never use geology in life (like the business majors), but there were some where it would definitely become necessary for them to access some geological knowledge (like civil engineers). There were some that did need geology knew they needed it and tried hard to learn it and typically did well in the class. Then there were some that needed it but did not know they did. That always lead to me explaining to them how geology would help them sometime in the future. Most accepted it, some didn't, that is expected.

Here is the difference.

The scenario is EXACTLY the same at A&T except for the fact that the students WILL NOT accept the fact that physics is important to their academic development. In what universe is physics not important in architectural engineering? mechanical engineering? any kind of engineering? Why is learning about circuits not important to someone who's major is computer science? How can you manage a construction site without knowing basic information about force and angles? These are the question I ask myself whenever I hear, "Why do I need to know physics?" or "I will never use this stuff again."

I am not discussing aptitude. The students are more than capable of doing the work. I am worried about the laziness and the unwillingness to learn something that is challenging. I have had several conversation with professors that have been teaching for years, and they are stumped on how to alleviate the problem.

I am done for now, but I am sure that I will revisit this in the near future.

Happy 100th post to me.

~sTeW~

Making a Comeback!

2010-05-24T11:18:00.000-04:00

STAY TUNED!

The Reason

2009-10-05T16:20:00.001-04:00

Unless it's fatal...It's no big deal.

This is really how I feel about most things in my life. I try not to worry myself with thing that do not directly affect me. To some people this attribute is very annoying because to them I do not care about them and most things that they do. I can not argue against that, because most time this is definitely the case. Another great fact about the way I operate is that I tend not to get upset/angry about anything. The worst I will ever get is really annoyed. Some could argue that annoyance can be equated to anger, I rebut that by saying that anger tends to stick around while annoyance comes and goes.

"You're rambling again. Could you please get to the point."

All of that to say, I truly do not care about what people do or say, but I do tend to concern myself with WHY they do or say the things they do. To me the REASON is much more important than than the action itself. For example, how many times have you taken your frustration out on someone who did not deserve it? Everyone has done it at least once, and they have been forced to apologize to the person who received the misdirected WRATH of an angry person. After you apologize and explained why you were feeling the way you were, I am sure they recipient of said anger quickly forgave you and you continued watching Fresh Prince reruns and eating ice cream.

In a way I think this make me a little too forgiving sometimes because in the past I have allowed people to say some off the wall stuff to me, but forgave them because their frustration did not stem from me. I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. On the other side of the coin, I have written people off completely for something very minor because of the REASON why they did it. I truly believe that you can do some very horrific things and it be valid because of the REASON why you did it. This make me think of the upcoming movie Law Abiding Citizen. From what I gather from the previews, it seems as if a guy kills the people who killed his family. And I think he does it in a pretty gruesome way. In my head, and I am sure in most people's heads, killing someone who killed your family deserves a standing ovation, not life in prison.

"It seems to me that trying to figure out why someone does something is a waste of time. Most of the time people do things 'because they want to' and that is basically it. 9 out of 10 times people's gut reactions are they way they really feel. I would much rather go off of someone's first response than give them an opportunity to talk their way out of it. Mom & Dad always told us to THINK about what you are going to say before you say it."

Though I do not LIKE most people, I have always been interested in studying people and understanding how individuals work.

I guess this is just a part of that.

NEXT UP.... PATTERNS

~sTeW~

About to go private....

2009-09-24T13:31:00.002-04:00

But not for too long. Normally when people go private its because they want to be more candid or because someone is reading stuff that they were not meant to see. Me on the other hand, I am going to be job hunting soon, and I know there are some topic covered on a few of my posts that could be slightly offensive to some people.

Therefore, I am going private. So, those of you who would like to continue reading post your emails in the comments so that I can add you to the list.

I doubt I will be getting many since I have been M.I.A. recently, but it is still polite to offer. I will leave this up for about a week or so, then I'm gone.

~sTeW~

The Blind Girl

2009-09-11T20:51:00.002-04:00

My granny sent this in an email to me the other day.

There was
A blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
There for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.

He asked
her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

Her
boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

This is
how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.

Life Is a
Gift

Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.

Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.

Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.

Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.

And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.

And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.

Damn...

~sTeW~

Recap: My trip to Africa

2009-09-09T11:55:00.000-04:00

After careful consideration, and Niki's poking and prodding, I have decided to put up a few pictures from my trip to Africa. They are only from Ghana, I did not take any in South Africa. Like I said before you want to know what Johannesburg looks like, look out your window. Time to get started.

We rode by this building everyday and everyday I wondered what the hell it was, so I decided to ask. Apparently this is the President's house. As you can see, no matter where you are, the president lives in luxury.

Speaking of the president, this is him and Obama on a billboard. They were really excited about his visit. These billboards and countless other posters were up all over the city. (By the way, I was in Accra)

This was another billboard that was up. Same problem, different continent.

These are just picture of the ENDLESS line of shops that were EVERYWHERE. These folk know the true definition of hustle. Americans do not hustle nearly as hard as these folks. If you are wondering, I did get express written consent from all of these people to have their pictures on my blog.

"No you didn't. You liar."

Shut up.

Hotel room and bathroom. Nothing spectacular, just a regular room.

This was the beach right behind the hotel. From the video it looks really nice, but the sand was littered with trash. I was going to go down there, but I did not know what was among all of the rubbish so I just kept my distance.

Two more of the Obama posters. There were also some that had Michelle on them, but I could never seem to get a good shot of it. We always seemed to be moving when we passed hers.

The top picture is a some of the money in Ghana. They are called Cedis (pronounced See-Dees). The bottom is a excerpt from the hotel handbook that I found particularly amusing. If you can not read it, the funny part to me says 'Please do not tempt the staff by leaving your valuables unsecured'. To me, they are trying to say that it is my fault that the staff wants to steal and if they do steal it is my fault because I tempted them.

Well that is all for now. There are more pictures and I am sure that I will post more. Until then, enjoy these and ask questions if you want to know anything more specific. I am now a expert on Ghanaian culture because I was there for 3 days.

~sTeW~

Speechless

2009-09-08T13:09:00.002-04:00

I came across this video the other day. I really do not know what to say about it.

The worst thing about this is that he is a pastor and kids are hearing this. He is saying that it is okay to HATE someone. I am sure there is a book somewhere that says that you are not supposed to hate someone.

"If someone had said this during the Bush administration they would've called him unpatriotic, unamerican and every other 'un' word out there. But since Obama has taken over, stuff like this flies under the radar. I wonder why that is?"

The world we live in...

~sTeW~

I'm Ashamed of Myself

2009-09-07T01:19:00.002-04:00

2 MONTHS!!!

It has been 2 MONTHS since I updated this damn thing. I can not believe that I have been this lazy. How can I ever call myself a blogger?!? I can not....can I?

"I'm disappointed in you everyday."

You are no better than me. You did not make an attempt to write on this thing either. So we are in the same boat.

"Let's not forget that we are the same people."

Even still, you did not try to motivate me/us.

Anyhow...

I know I was supposed to post pictures of my travels this past summer, but after going through them I realized that I did not have anything really interesting to show. Also, most of what I have is video so it would be hard to distinguish what is going on. The pictures I do have are only of the work that I did while I was Ghana. If you are at all interested let me know, I will put a few of them up.

That is all for now. This is me forcing myself back into the blog world.

Hope I can keep it up this time.

~sTeW~

Thank God for a safe return

2009-07-13T16:08:00.002-04:00

I am back home now. Got in yesterday afternoon. I am still pretty tired, so I will not write much. I really enjoyed my trip and both Ghana and South Africa are beautiful places. I did not take any pictures in South Africa because I did not see anything that was worth taking a picture of. Meaning that looking around Jo'Burg is like looking around your city.

Anyhow, I will be updating soon.

Stay tuned.

~sTeW~

I'm In GHANA!!!!

2009-07-03T14:59:00.003-04:00

THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I still can not believe I am in Ghana. I am staying at this hotel that is right one the beach. I am sitting here with my adviser and I can hear the waves crashing. My trip has been so crazy, filled with laughing, crying, overnight stays in airports, and monkeys. I can not wait to let you all know about it.

Hope all is well with everyone.

(One of the seismometers were in a game reserve, that's where I got the pictures of the baboons.)

~sTeW~

My Next Two Weeks

2009-06-29T07:49:00.002-04:00

I will be gone for the next two weeks. Hopefully I will be able to post, I am assuming I will be able to since I will be taking my laptop with me.

I will be spending one week in each of these countries. 10 points to the person who can tell me where I am going.

"Great news!!! I'm coming too."

This should be an interesting trip.

~sTeW~

Bet You Never Thought About This

2009-06-24T17:18:00.002-04:00

One aspect of my personality that I really love is my attention to detail. I tend to catch small details about people and/or situations that help me put together the entire story. I am like Sherlock Holmes, just without the pipe, hat, sidekick, and burning desire to help other people. For example, whenever I am riding in the car with my mom and there is an accident, she always tells me to look and see what happened.

"Damn you are just so full of yourself. She don't ask you that because she thinks you are a master at solving puzzles, she asks you because she is driving and she can't look and figure it out herself."

So answer me this smart ass, why did she tell me to look when I was younger and all four of us was in the car and my dad was driving?

"She never wore her glasses then. And back then your eyes were good, not like now where you have like 20/200 vision. Get off of yourself."

I can not get credit from you for anything can I?

"Not when you try to make yourself out to be a superhero or something."

Regardless of what Douglass says, I can almost always look at a situation and figure out the order of events.

On the other hand, there are many things in the world that I, and most people, tend to miss. Today I was sitting outside eating lunch at this bar/lounge. There was a chalk board that had the lunch special on it. As I was sitting there eating, I saw the waitress erase the sign and write the dinner special. To most people, you (reader) included, this is not very interesting to you, but to me it is very fascinating. These are one of the elusive things in life that you know happen, but you rarely get a chance to see it happen. There are many more things that are just like this.

Billboards being put up
The time change on a digital clock (unless you sit and watch it)
A bird crap on someone's car
A 18 wheeler blow a tire
A tree fall naturally
A tree fall on a house
Lightning striking
A cat catch a mouse
A dog bury a bone
Someone change the gas prices

You get the point.

I am always excited when I see things like this, I do not know why, but I stop and stare when these events unfold before me.

"Do you not have anything else to write about?"

Can you come up with any other examples? I would love to hear them.

~sTeW~

Suggestions Anyone???

2009-06-22T12:31:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Niki, I have had Google Reader for a while, and I have a list of blogs that I subscribe to. At its maximum I was subscribe to about 40 blogs. Recently I went to every blog on my list to figure out why most of them had not had any new posts for a while. Most of them have either been deleted or have been switched to invite only. Now I am left with about 20 or so blogs to read, most of which are still up, but the blogger does not write consistently.

So I need help from all of my blogs friends out there. I need some good blogs to read. If the blog is all about how much men suck and all of the terrible relationships that the blogger has been in, I am not interested. I would like for it to be interesting, and about something.

"Are you looking for blogs, or writing a personal ad? What other qualities would you like in you new 'lover'?"

I can not help it if I want to read a certain kind of blog. Everyone has preferences, even when it comes to the type of blogs they want to read.

"I find it funny that your preferences sound a lot like you looking for a date on Craigslist."

Either way, I need new blogs to read.

HELP!!!

~sTeW~

She Is SO Annoying!!!

2009-06-19T08:39:00.004-04:00

"Who are you talking about? You don't deal with any women (personally I think you're gay) so what the hell are you talking about?"

I think I can say without a doubt that my mom is the MOST ANNOYING person on the planet. She has the uncanny ability, like most moms do, to annoy the hell out of me with three words. Sometimes she baits me into arguments only to laugh in my face because she knows that she was able to irritate me.

"Well if you were not such a emotional baby then that would not happen."

Her latest exploit has been at the expense of my blog. As you can see I have changed how it looks. My original banner is gone and I have a new background. Personally, I like the new look. Change is a good thing. Like rearranging your room, it makes you feel like you are in a completely different place.

But...

Leave it up to my mom to tell me about how much she hates it because the picture of me and my brother is gone.

Annoying Woman: Where is the picture of you and Dee?
Me: It's gone.
Really Annoying Woman: Why?
Me: It's time for a change.
Irritating Woman: That was your trademark.
Me: I do not have a trademark.
Really Irritating Woman: Well, I like the other one better.
Me: Nobody asked you!!!

So I told her that I would ask my readers whether or you all like the changes or not. If more people say that the old way was better, then I will go back to that.

So let me know.

Mom I hate you.

~sTeW~

Friday Night's Dream, Saturday Told...

2009-06-16T09:38:00.004-04:00

...Will Come To Pass Before It's 5 Days Old.

I just got off of the phone with my dad. We talk everyday anyway, but I had to call him the second I woke up. I had a dream that he died. Dreams of a loved one dying always bother me, but this is the second time within a week that I had this dream. I guess the call was to check on him and make sure he was not dead, and to tell him I loved him in the event that something tragic does happen. I know there is nothing I could do if he did kick the bucket, but I want to make sure that he knows that I love him just in case.

"..."

What?!? No smart remark? No jokes?

"Well he's kinda like my dad too."

Well is that not just the cutest thing?

"Kiss my ass!"

Well I am sure that you will have something to say about this.

As expected, after having a dream like this, I woke up crying. This does not bother me because I am supposed to cry if someone I love dies.

Here's the problem...

I have been crying much more than usual lately. I am wondering if my estrogen levels are being elevated somehow because I am cry all the damn time now. For example, I went to see UP.
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
I cried when the wife died, when they showed a picture of the wife, when they showed her adventure book, when they showed the chairs they used to sit in, every single reference of the wife made me drop a few tears. If I had not focused all of my attention on choking back tears I would have on the ground sobbing with snot running down my nose gasping for air. I do not know what is happening to me.

"I think you are right. You are turning into a woman. I think you should start shopping for bras. What are you...like a 36 B? I hear Victoria Secret has a new line coming out for small breasted women. Maybe I'll pick one up for you."

When I was younger I did not cry why I watched movies. People have always said that they cried when Mustafa was killed in the Lion King, my eyes never even got moist. I think I cried when I first watched Ghost though, but most times I did not cry. Now I cry about everything. The one movie that will always get me is Meet Joe Black. The end of that movie gets me every time, even though I know exactly what is going to happen.

As I sit here and think about it (with tears in my eyes...dammit) I think I cry about movies because I do not just watch movie, I experience them. I become fully engrossed with in the world of the movie. For that time that I am watching their reality becomes my reality and I feel the emotions of the characters. What ever emotion is trying to be conveyed I feel it (as long as it is acted well. I felt nothing from You Got Served). I guess that makes me the perfect movie goer.

"So do you think you'll be a heels girl, or a flats girl? I think you'd look great in heels, they'd show off your long legs. And there's no way you can keep your hair cut like that, you need to let it grow, you don't wanna look like a tranny do you?"

The weird thing is that all this crying does not bother me. There was a time when it would, because I felt like I was they type of person that did not cry. That would not make sense because I am told that I am a dramatic & emotional person, and what dramatic/emotional person does not cry? So when you have an overly dramatic person that is also pretty damn emotional, what do you get?

Water faucet.

~sTeW~

The Good Thing About Dreams

2009-06-12T13:07:00.004-04:00

For the better part of my life I did not dream, and if I did all I saw was a tunnel of colors. I always wondered why I did not dream. Since dreams are an extension of the subconscious, logic would tell you that I did not have much going on in my subconscious. This theory makes sense because when I was younger I did and said any and everything that came to mind. (I am glad I grew out of that. Almost got my butt kicked in middle school. Remind me later to tell you that story.)

"I dream a lot. Mostly about women, partying, flying, women, superpowers...you know, all of the normal stuff."

Now, on the other hand, I dream all of the time. Most of my dreams are about running. Either I am running away from something/someone, or I am running to catch up to something/someone. Very rarely I dream about sex, which is weird due to the fact that 75% of my thoughts have some type of sexual innuendo wrapped up inside of them. On a more disturbing note, some of my dream would suggest that I am suffering from the Oedipus Complex. (Look it up if you are lost)

"You get more and more pathetic the more I get to know you. The only way you have sex....IS IN YOUR DREAMS!!!!! Ha!!! So many jokes could go with that, but I'll let you wallow in your self pity without my help."

Dreams can be helpful to some people though. For example, someone who is having a hard time dealing with the loss of a loved one, if they are reunited with that person in their dreams then it could make the grieving process a little bit easier.

Last night I was reunited with an old friend from my undergrad. We came in at the same time but he was slightly older than I was. He might just be the coolest melanin-free guy I have ever come across. He was a simple guy from a rural part of North Carolina. You can not say this about most people, but he really DID NOT see color, EVER. We spent countless nights in the Physics Lounge talking about everything under the sun when we should have been doing homework. After he graduated, with a ~3.5 GPA in Physics, he decided to join the Peace Corps. I have not seen him since. Every now and again I have spoke to him on FB or and email, but it is few and far between. I know it sounds like I am talking about my love affair with a woman, but he and I got to be really good friends, and sometimes you miss your friends...get off my back!!!

"I always knew you liked guys."

So where ever you are Swizzle, hopefully we will cross paths in the future, and if they do there is a bar somewhere with two beers with our names on them.

~sTeW~

10,000

2009-06-10T10:11:00.005-04:00

DOUGLASS!!!! HEY DOUGLASS WAKE UP!!!!!

"It's too early for you to be yelling at me like this. What the hell do you want?"

We have reached a milestone.

"What kind of milestone could you have possibly have reached? You don't do anything worthwhile that even has milestones to reach."

That is why I said WE and not I, WE did this together.

"Well if we did it 'together' then I'm sure it's something I didn't want to be a part of."

Our blog has been visited 10,000 times, and it only took a year to do it. Our little piece of the internet has officially become a success.

"That's not much of an accomplishment. You do know that there are other blogs that probably do 10,000 visits a week? And you are happy that you got there in a year? This is one of the many reasons why I don't like you. You get excited about insignificant things, well....I guess it makes sense because you are an insignificant person."

All of Douglass' negativity aside, I am a little excited about this 10,000 visit mark. I am proud of myself for keeping this thing going for this long. Normally I lose interest in things that are on the internet, but this is something that I enjoy doing so I am going to keep on doing it.

"We are all very happy for you. I'm going back to sleep."

This calls for some kind of celebration. Better yet I think I am going to work making this place look a little better. It is time for some remodeling. I been planning on revamping the look of this blog, and this is the perfect reason to.

Stay tuned.

~sTeW~

A Different World

2009-05-13T13:55:00.002-04:00

From the beginning of time the world has been able to stay stabilized through a series of checks and balances. If one species got too dominant, mother nature always had a way to bring it down. That is why there are several episodes of mass extinction in Earth's history. This has even held true with all of the different civilizations of man. The difference is that it is not mother nature that brought them to their end, it was other men. On the other hand, maybe it is "nature" that was the downfall of these civilizations. Is it not the "nature" of man to want what another man has? Is it not the "nature" of man to want to have the world under his control? "Nature" blesses all things with certain traits that helps them advance, but is this desire to conquer the world a blessing or a curse?

How different would the world be if we did not have the desire to claim domain over everything? What would change if the Europeans never decided to explore and discover a "new world"? Would there have ever been any wars? Would there have ever been slavery? (I know slavery still existed, but I am talking about the "drag someone from their continent to a completely different continent" type of slavery) What would the Native American be like now if Columbus and his boys did not come over here wrecking all kinds of havoc?

"That's why you are stupid. You are taking away humans desire to learn, and human creativity. We are naturally curious, we want to learn and explore new things. That's what makes us such a great species. That's what has allowed us to advance over all of this time. Fore you to take that away mean you are turning us back into neanderthals."

I see your point Douglass. Our curiosity and creativity is what makes us so special. So let us explore a scenario. We will assume that everything in history happens exactly the same way, but we will remove any instance that someone did something out of pure greed. What events would vanish? We would have never invaded Iraq looking for WMD A.K.A. oil. Katrina would have been avoided because the people in charge would have minded paying the extra money to fix the levees. The environment would be in MUCH better shape because companies would not mind paying a little extra money to dispose of waste in the correct manner.

(I know I am talking about cliche things here, but I am not a history buff. You get the point I am trying to get across.)

"Maybe greed is the way nature intends to put us in check, along with all of the other 7 seven deadly sins. If we were not as messed up as we are we would be thriving. Not just as a country, but as a entire species. It human were able to set aside egos and greed we could all come together and do some truly remarkable things."

The sad thing is that this will never happen. So in essence, human will probably never reach their full potential because we are physically incapable of the whole before the individual.

The question always remains: The world would be different, but would it be better?

I think it would be.

~sTeW~

30 Years is a LONG Time

2009-05-08T10:39:00.002-04:00

The American Revolution lasted 8 years.

The Civil War lasted 4 years.

World War I lasted 5 years.

World War II lasted 6 years.

The Vietnam War lasted 15 years.

My parents marriage............ 30 years and still going strong.

It is a funny thing to think about. My folks have been married for almost as long as all of America's wars combined. That is a really long time.

Over the years I have seen my folks argue the same way that all couples do, but never have I seen them at the point where they were ready to give up. They always said that no matter how mad they got at each other that me and my brother were the most important thing, and they would always love each other. I remember a few times I would ask if they were going to get a divorce after a big fight, their response was always the same, "Where am I gonna go?". We would always have a good laugh off of that. I assume that they would have some angry make-up sex or something to get over it because the conflict would never last more than a day.

They are such an odd couple. My mom was born and raised in Harlem, NY and my dad was born and raised in Goldsboro, NC. Those places are as far as opposites as you can get. My mom is loud and obnoxious, my dad is quiet and reserved. My dad has more of a logic and numbers mind, my mom is very creative. Here is where it starts to get weird, my dad is the emotional one while my mom is the hardass. For the most part I can be completely relaxed around my mom while with my dad I have to watch what I say and do. At the end of the day, their strange relationship has made it 30 YEARS, so whatever they are doing they are doing a great job.

As I have gotten older I have seen their love grow stronger. I would venture to say that they are in love more now than ever. It is probably because my brother and I are out of the house and they get to spend more time together. I could not ask for a better set of parents, and I love them both with all of my heart.

With that being said, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD.

"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY."

See, even Douglass can get in the spirit.

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2009-05-01T11:09:00.004-04:00

"I'm really hoping this does not sound too insensitive. No wait...I really do not care. I'm getting absolutely sick and tired of hearing about the damn swine flu. The way I see it, those who are catching it here in the US are going out looking for it. It makes no sense to me how this all of a sudden pops up."

Hold up Douglass, that is EXTREMELY insensitive. People are out there dying because of this thing, and you want to mock those who are catching it? That is a little low, even for you.

"I'm sorry, but it just does not make any sense to me. I'll say that I am completely ignorant to the history of the S.F. but it is just hard for me to believe that this kind of thing happens all of a sudden. Do you want to know what I really think?"

I am sure I am not going to like where this is going.

"If you ask me it's the government testing out a new strain of some new killer disease. If you look at where these MAGIC pandemics first pop up it is never in the US. They always start in some far away country then make its way here. It's inevitable for it to make it to the US but it is a calculated risk that the government takes into account."

Why is everything that happens a government conspiracy?

"The government has ultimate power. Yeah there are checks and balances, but there are ways to get around that. We all watch enough movies to know that. There are those people out there who love the country so much that they have no problem unleashing a deadly flu out into the world for the sake of 'patriotism'."

You are just ridiculous.

"Sure I am. But what I want all you to remember is that:

Swine flu is not 'fatal', therefore it's no big deal."

±DoUgLaSs±

Black History

2009-04-28T11:30:00.000-04:00

"I don't think it's fair that Stew always has me do posts about sex or something else stupid. So I decided to go behind his back and post something that has some substance. I can't have the world thinking I'm some kind of pervert, or that I'm an idiot."

But you are pervert, and an idiot. What is wrong with telling the truth.

"And you wonder why I am always tormenting your ass. Just shut up and let me handle this."

Go for it. Now I get to take a nap.

"If there is one thing that Stew & I wished we studied more of, it's black history. We know all the basic stuff like George Washington Carver's peanut, and Rosa Parks, but there are little details that we don't know that we would like to know. Every now and again we come across a piece of information and we think 'I didn't know that, but it feels like I should have'. Lately we have been gathering information on black history so that one day we can sit down and read it. Hopefully we will keep these plans."

Speak for yourself, I know my black history.

"I'm sure you do Stew. But what we are happy about is that we were alive to witness MAYBE the most important event in black history, the election of a black president. So this got us thinking. The most important events in black history in recent years has been the civil rights movement and President Obama's election."

What about when I was born? I feel like that was a great moment in black history.

"You are insignificant."

"If you had to choose JUST ONE of those events to be alive for and participate in, which one would you pick? Would you choose to be a part of all the protests and marches, or would you choose to attend Obama's speeches and eventual inauguration? Would you rather be beaten and bruised by the attack dogs, police, and fire hoses, or would you rather have to deal with the "silent" racism that comes with having a black president?"

I do not think I can choose. They are both very significant events that changed the history of the world.

"Neither can I, but I'm interested in seeing what everyone else thinks."

±DoUgLaSs±

Best Birthday in a While

2009-04-25T09:00:00.002-04:00

Normally I am not one to get excited about birthdays. In my eyes there really is not much to be excited about. When I ask people what there is to be excited about, I always get the same answer:

'You should be excited to be alive for another year.' I would be lying if I said that I am not happy to have made another year, but as you get older the fun starts to fade.

"You just like to suck the fun out of everything. You have reached a new low. You can not even enjoy your birthday? What the hell is wrong with you? If there is any day for you to be psyched it should be this day. THIS IS THE DAY YOU WERE BORN DAMMIT!!!"

This is just the way I am. I can not help it.

"You are a sad sad man."

This year is different from other birthdays in recent memory.

"So you are excited this year? What makes this year so special?"

MY BROTHER CAME TO VISIT ME!!!

I have not talked much about my brother, but he is everything you would ever want in an older brother. He has looked out for me my entire life and we have always been best friends. I do not think I could ask for a better role model.

What makes this visit special for me is that normally when I go home it is for special occasions and he is always with his daughter so we do not have much time for just us to hang out. While he is here we will have plenty of time to hang out alone.

Well...today's my birthday and I am not going to sit here and type on this computer as the day wastes away.

Until next time.

~sTeW~

Night Owl...Isn't that a little redundant???

2009-04-23T02:56:00.003-04:00

"What are you still doing up? Don't you have to teach at 10 in the morning?"

I did just get finished grading papers, but you would not know that because all you ever do is sleep. If you are not eating, drinking or watching TV then you are sleep. You are probably the most worthless person I know.

"This may be true, but what would you do without me? You would never have any fun. You would stuck in you lame ass lifestyle. I bring excitement to your life and you know it."

Go back to sleep.

A little known fact about me...I hate sleeping.

If I could live the rest of my life and never have to sleep again I would. I think it started when I was younger because I would never dream. If I remember correctly all I would ever see was black, or just an assortment of colors. As I got older I started to dream more, and I started remembering my dreams. This is where the problems start.

I have an overactive imagination, and the best place for all of wildest fantasies to play out is in my dreams. For example, the one thing I REALLY want to be is a superhero. We all know that "superpowers" do not exist, but I still would love to have one...or some. So I had a dream that I could shoot lightning from my fingertips. I was very excited by this. It was not until the next day that I realized that I DID NOT have superpowers and it was all just a dream. Which brings us to my next issue with dreaming, they ALWAYS feel so real.

I do not know what it is like for other people's dreams, but if I had to guess, I would guess that my dreams feel more real than anyone else's. I feel like I am actually thinking and making decisions in my dreams.

(Does that happen to any of you?)

Sometimes I actually wake up tired from all of the excitement of my dreams. If I am going to wake up as tired as I was when I went to sleep, then what is the point of sleeping.

To be honest there is no real benefit to being up all night. The one thing that I HATE the most about being up late, is that there is NEVER anyone up at the same time as me. Here it is 4 in the morning, and I am betting that most of you are nestled tightly in your beds hugging on your significant other, or if you are single, a body pillow with the cologne/perfume of your latest escapade dancing across your nose. Those of you who are up are penetrating/getting penetrated by your significant other, or if you are single, FACE DEEP in a brand new escapade.

"Whoa whoa, hold your horses there cowboy. Aren't you starting to go a little off subject here? I thought you were talking about being up late, not writing a romance novel. Get focused."

Excuse me....

Well look, all I am saying is that it sucks being up late with nothing to hold my interest. With that being said, if you are ever up late either because you can not sleep, or you just got finished GETTING IT IN, find me.

Maybe you will tell me "how it was."

~sTeW~

Rapper Turnt Actor Turnt Crazy Person Turnt Rapping Actor

2009-04-21T17:00:00.000-04:00

Cradle 2 the Grave...Exit Wounds...Romeo Must Die...Never Die Alone

What do these three movies have in common?

"If we don't guess will you promise not tell us?"

DMX play a big role in all of them.

"Why is that important?"

In my personal opinion, DMX is not a bad actor. He might be one of the better acting rappers out there. The only rappers turned actors that are better that I can think of are Common, Mos Def, and Andre 3000. Common and Mos Def were already on a different level because "conscience rap" genre gives them a different mindset, and Andre 3000 is just a born performer. But as far as "gansta" rappers go, he is by far the best.

"That's like saying 2 is more than 1, yeah it's the truth, but does it really mean anything?"

It means a lot. Many rappers have tried to make that transition and have not done the greatest job. 50 was ok in Get Rich or Die Trying, but did not do all that well in Righteous Kill. Normally I like everything that Ludacris does, but his performance in Max Payne was not up to his usual standards. LL Cool J has been in many movies, but he never really convinces me that he is the person he is supposed to be playing, I feel like he is just playing the person (though he did a really good job on the episode of House he was on). These are just a few of the rappers that have dipped into acting, and I think DMX is better than all of them.

On Friday night I saw Never Die Alone for the first time, and I was amazed by how good the movie was. It solidified the fact that DMX is a really good actor and he could have had a really good career if he had not COMPLETELY nuts.

"DMX is my kinda guy. He does what he wants when he wants regardless of what type of trouble he will get in. How many people you know can be drunk and on drugs at an airport and still have the presence of mind to impersonate a police officer. When I am drunk I have a hard time completing a sentence, much less trying to impersonate someone. Even through all of his legal trouble he has still been making movie. He will be in the Belly sequel, and he has a couple of albums coming out pretty soon. The most interesting thing about his musical endeavors is that he will be dropping a gospel album. This should not surprise many people since he takes time out on all of his albums to pray. He is just a dynamic guy... troubled but dynamic."

I think I will always like DMX because It's Dark and Hell is Hot is the first rap album that I ever really paid attention to. Before then I did not really listen to music outside of my parent's car, and all they listened to was music from the 60's 70's and 80's. When I rode with my mom she would turn to the hip-hop station, but all she wanted to hear were R&B songs, so I was not really exposed to rap. Only bad thing about the version of DMX that I heard is that it was edited and I had no idea. I was going around thinking that that was the way the songs were supposed to sound.

"So you were pretty stupid even before I started coming around huh?"

If you have not seen Never Die Alone, go rent it, download it, or stream it. Just watch it and tell me what you think.

~sTeW~

Everything Serves a Purpose

2009-04-15T12:17:00.004-04:00

If God were to ask me:

'Stew, if you could ask me to get rid of anything in this world what would it be?'

Without hesitation my answer would be, GNATS!!!!

"So you could not have given a more humane answer? Like AIDS, war, or world hunger? How about clean water for eternity? Hell, asking him to get rid of whatever it is that make women insane would have been a better answer than gnats."

Yet again you jump in before I get to the main point.

"Please continue."

But, there is a chance that if we get rid of gnats then the world's ecosystem would be destroyed. The fact that gnats are still living and have not gone extinct means that they serve some kind of purpose. They are a very low part of the food chain, but a part of it nonetheless. More times than not if you mess with the food chain, humans suffer. We can be affected directly or indirectly.

"This is not 6th grade biology, we all know about the damn food chain. I am hoping you did not pull me out of bed to talk about the DAMN FOOD CHAIN!?!"

Lately I have been watching a lot of Fox News. Whenever I tell someone that, the response is always the same.

'How do you watch that?'

'I hate Fox News.'

I do not necessarily like to watch it, but I feel like I NEED to watch it. To me, Fox News serves a higher purpose than delivering the news for a Republican point of view. To me, Fox News keeps me informed about how our melanin-free counterparts actually think. The good thing about Fox News and their personalities is that they are able to say exactly what they are thinking and they do not have to worry about how it will affect their jobs or the people around them. Of course they can say EXACTLY what they want, but they get their point across without saying the things they REALLY want to say. You do not have to say NIGGER to call someone a NIGGER. They do a great job reminding us that we are not that far removed from inequality, and injustice, and if we do not be careful things could go right back to the way they were. Though all of our melanin-free counterparts do not have the same political views as those from Fox News, I think enough of them have the same social views.

Fox News should not be watched for the actual content or journalistic integrity. They should be watched to educate yourself on how the other side of the fence REALLY feels.

Thank you Fox News for continuing to give me the inside scoop. Please do not change how you operate, because if you do then I will have to start believing that we are in a post-racial America.

~sTeW~

Let's Recap

2009-04-09T21:00:00.000-04:00

WOW!

Has it been a whole month since I have posted?

"That's what it's looking like."

That is really not a good look for me. I would assume that most of my readers think that I am dead or something.

"Wouldn't that be nice."

You do understand that if I die then you cease to exist also?

"Small price to pay."

As you can see Douglass is still the asshole that he has always been, so that is one thing that has not changed.

But some things have change, and some additions have been made. Let's go over them:

-I have decided to let my facial hair grow out. This is pretty exciting for me because I am

trying to see if I can fight the urge to cut it off.

-My windshield is now officially cracked. It had a tiny crack in it for about a year and a half

but now that tiny little crack has spread over 3/4 of the windshield. Needless to say, I am

pissed, but I knew the day would come. Damn PA winters.

-Mixtape is still coming soon. I just need more beats. Maybe I will drop another single

soon.

-I have been going to these two websites too much lately sporcle.com & mentalfloss.com.

Both of these websites are for people who have and extensive amount of knowledge about

lots of stuff and want to test how much they know. Also, if you want to learn a bunch of

needless stuff you can go there too.

-Looks like I am on track to get out of here in December. Only bad thing about that is that

now is not the best time to be looking for a job. The only comfort that I have is that my

area is highly specialized and there is a shortage of people who do what I do.

-Sadly I am WAY too invested in reality TV right now. I Love Money, For the Love of Ray

J, Making the Band...ect. I am very disappointed in myself right now.

-Tomorrow is my one year anniversary. I have officially been blogging for one year.

Normally this would be something to celebrate, but in a year's time I have not been able to

find 100 topics to blog about. I need to stop taking so much time off.

-I really enjoy reading other people's blogs, but some of the people that normally read

have disappeared (just like I did). So I need some suggestion of some good blogs to go to.

Someone please help me.

I think that does it.

"You are a really boring person. You need to let me do my thing again."

From here on out...NO MORE LONG TIMES AWAY FROM BLOGGING.

We promise.

~sTeW~

My Mom's Favorite Song

2009-03-10T09:55:00.000-04:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

So the plan is to drop a few songs then finish the mixtape. I have no clue how long it will take to finish, but as you can see I have been hard at work. So let me know what you think. Tell me what you like what you do not like. I am open to criticism.

To all of you harsh critics out there, might I remind you that this is not to be taken seriously. This is supposed to be funny. If you laugh at it, then I know I have done my job.

Without any further ado, I give you Cleaned Up My Room performed by Azmatik. <------(that's me)

~sTeW~

My Mistake

2009-03-09T14:42:00.002-04:00

SPRING BREAK!!!!!

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

"Why are you so excited about spring break?"

No classes. Time to relax. I get a whole week to myself and I do not have to stress over school.

"So what do we have planned? Maybe a trip to the beach?"

Nope.

"Are we going to go back home?"

It is not looking like we are.

"So what are we going to do?"

As of right now...nothing. We are going to stay here.

"And do nothing?"

Yes. That sounds about right.

"..."

Do you have a problem with that?

"I'm leaving."

Later.

So, there is my mistake. I do not have anything to do for spring break. It is looking more and more like I am going to be stuck in my apartment the entire week. I would like to do something, but I just do not know what to do. I am in a tough place right now. I would like to go to NY, but I do not know anyone up there to show me around. I can not just go to a place like NY without having someone show me some cool places to go. Plus I hate going somewhere and looking like a tourist. I would say that I am depressed, but I am just a little bored. There is absolutely nothing to do here, when all the students leave this entire place shuts down. I am even bored as I am writing this.

I NEED HELP!!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME AN IDEA ABOUT SOMETHING TO DO OR SOMEWHERE TO GO!!!!

~sTeW~

The fruits of my labor

2009-03-03T11:39:00.002-05:00

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!

I dropped my first single on Niki's blog. I am proud of myself. This is something that I have been talking about for a long time, and now I have finally done it. If you have been following my progress, you should be as happy as I am.

"THANK GOD!!! I'm getting sick and tired of hearing you talk about this damn mixtape. Hopefully now everyone will tell you how much you suck and you will just quit all of this crap."

If the people do not like it then that is not my problem. It started as a project that I was only going to share with my brother so that he could get some laughs out of it, but I enjoyed doing it so much that I want to share it with the world.

With that being said, head on over to singlebubblepop.blogspot.com, listen to my first single Crazy Ass Dreams, then come back here and let me know what you think. I want COMPLETE AND TOTAL HONESTY. If you think it is stupid then tell me, if you think it is funny then tell me.

I can not wait to here what everyone has to say.

~sTeW~

4 Days Left....

2009-02-27T15:47:00.002-05:00

For those of you who have been wondering: 'When is Stew going to let us check out the mixtape?' (And I know it has been all of you). I have decided that I am going to drop a single on Tuesday. Everyone else seems to drop their music on Tuesday so I decided that I would too. I am in the process of choosing which song I am going to drop, but I am leaning towards Crazy Ass Dreams. Niki has asked me to allow her to reveal the music so I have decided to let her introduce me to the world. So on Tuesday, go to singlebubblepop.blogspot.com so you can hear my first single.

"No one wants to hear that crap."

Well if they do not want to hear it, then they do not have to listen. It is for those of you who want to hear it.

So remember, Tuesday is the day you have all been waiting for.

Actually I am a little nervous.

~sTeW~

The shoe is on the other foot

2009-02-19T12:18:00.004-05:00

One of the greatest parts of college is the freedom to get up and leave whenever you want. It is not like grade school where you needed hall passes and crap like that. If I am sitting in a class and I want to leave and grab something to eat before class is over, I have every right to do so. The professor will not even be upset about it...most times. Also, I used to love it when the professor would not show up in the 10-15 minute window. Everyone would sign their name to prove that they were there then leave. That was such a good feeling.

"That must be why your grades were so bad. You were too anxious to get up and leave instead of sticking around to possibly learn something. Congrats on being an underachiever."

I do not make the rules. It was my understanding that after a certain amount of time, if the teacher did not show up then we were allowed to leave. Who am I to go against the rules?

"When I was in school I stuck around an extra 5 or 10 minutes just to make sure that the professor did not come."

If I recall, while I was in class, you stayed at home and slept.

"Well.......I WOULD'VE stuck around. Going to class with you was boring anyway. But I was always right by your side the second class was over. You can't deny that."

Right....Anyhow....

The worse thing about the 10-15 minute late policy is that most times the teacher was just running late, and you would be hit with the rush of disappointment when you saw him/her walk in the door. You would always think 'Dang, just a few more minutes I could be back at home getting drunk'.

Now that I am a teacher, I get to disappoint my students the same way.

Take today for instance. My class starts at 10:10, and I woke up at 10:03. I knew I was going to be late, but I had not clue HOW late. (Good thing I took a shower the night before, because I had no time to take one this morning) I knew that the window was 15 minutes so I had until 10:25 to get there. I wish I had a camera to capture the emotions on my student's faces when I walked in that class at 10:23. There was anger, disappointment, frustration, every emotion that you would expect when someone does not get what they want. Like that kid whose parents would not let him get a paintball gun, even though he had the money to pay for it and plenty of things to shoot.

**AHEM** **COUGH** **COUGH**

MOM!!!!! DAD!!!!

**COUGH** **COUGH** **AHEM**

I do not know what it is about causing that kind of disappointment.

But I like it.

~sTeW~

They are only jokes...

2009-02-11T12:42:00.003-05:00

Going to the bar for happy hour is a tradition for many people. I guess it makes sense in some sense. You get off work after a long day, the first thing you want to do is relax a little. What better way to relax than to have a few drinks at half price. Even though drinking mid-afternoon brings about all kinds of problems, it's still a good way to relax after work.

"Drinking is fun isn't it? I remember this one time I was drunk and met this girl. She had the bigge..."

I am going to stop you right there Douglass. There is no need for you to 'grace' us with one of your fascinating stories. We should save that for another day.

"Whew...That was one crazy night. You should have seen what she did she stuck a whole eggplant..."

STOP RIGHT THERE!!! Thanks Douglass, but not today.

Getting to the point.

Yesterday, Jesus De Luca, his room mate Freebird, and I went to a bar after everyone was finished for the day. Well I was not finished yet, but I can not pass up a trip to the bar. When we got there I sat beside this guy that looked like he just came out of a intense finger paint/aerobic session. Turns out him and his brother are painters, and they are here painting one of the buildings on campus. I have said it before, the reason why stereotypes exist, is because they are true. These guys were your stereotypical Irish-Americans. I am not exactly sure what they stereotype consists of, but I do know they were drinking, loud, and telling jokes.

"Yep, that just about does it. That is what they say the typical Irish guy is like. Not Irish chicks though. Like this one Irish chick I met once. She put the 'free' in freak. She had this sex swing, and she would let me..."

SO ANYWAY...

They were some funny guys. Really nice guys, and told some really good jokes. They had us dying. Everything was going fine, they were making dumb blond jokes, Irish jokes, all kinds of ignorance. Now....most times I am the only POC (Person of Color), so it is always easy to tell when the mood shifts and a racial joke is about to get thrown out. The one saying it always prefaces it with something like:

OK. This is a horrible joke.

Don't get mad at me about this one.

I never stop anyone from telling a joke, because they are meant to be funny, depending on who is telling them.

This is the racial joke that he told. Tell me if you think this is funny.

Sarah Palin got an offer from Playboy to pose and be the centerfold.

She was offered 10 million dollars. She turned it down.

Michelle Obama got the same offer but,

It was from National Geographic.

You know how you got those jokes that you only tell people of your own race because you are not sure how the race you are picking on is going to take it???

I think these are one of those jokes that should stay amongst our melanin free counterparts.

~sTeW~

You have lost my support

2009-02-05T11:46:00.002-05:00

I like Mark Walhberg.

"I always knew you liked men. Let it be known, sTeW likes men. I always knew you had it in you. I'm glad you finally made the decision to come out."

I am four words into this and you are already being an asshole.

"Isn't that why I'm here?"

You are here to provide support, a different perspective, insight, not ridicule me.

"Well you gotta take the good with the bad. Like Peter Griffin said 'You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and now you have, my opening statement."

Yeah well I need for you to shut up for a second so I can get started.

Like I was saying....I like Mark Walhberg. I think he does very well with the roles that he decides to take. Even though he was a part of possibly the worst movie ever made, The Happening, I think he still did a very good job with what he was given. He also did well in Max Payne, it was not his fault that the movie was two steps from horrible.

I am not here to talk about Mark Wahlberg in particular. This is about another movie he did, The Italian Job. This is one of my favorite movies. I think Mos Def is a damn fool, Seth Green was funny, and Jason Statham did a good job as Hansom Rob. Ed Norton.....that is all that needs to be said.....Ed Norton.

Again, I am not here to talk about the actors in the movie, I want to talk about the end of the movie. The writers of the movie make you like the characters even though they are nothing but a gang of thieves. Generally, people look down on criminal, but in the movie world they can be portrayed as the heroes. So, at the end of the movie The Napster creates a huge traffic jam that allow him to direct the armored car the direction that they want it to go in. How do he accomplish this? He changes the stoplights so that innocent people get into car accidents. What most people do not think about is: What happens to the poor people out there trying to get to work, pick their kids up, or cheat on their spouse? They are out there just minding their business trying to obey traffic laws and they hit someone, while Mark Wahlberg & Mos Def are off somewhere else getting rich. In my personal opinion they should donate some of that money to those who were affected by their greed. Who is supposed to pay for that huge hole they put in the road? The taxpayers, that is who. How am I supposed to root for these guys if they are going to make my taxes go up by blowing a huge hole in the road?

"You do understand that it's just a movie don't you? It's not real. There are very few things about that movie that is plausible."

It is about the principle. I am not going to give my support to a bunch of crooks who give back nothing to the people who were affected by their thievery .

"If you are going to complain about this kind of thing maybe you should stop watching movies."

I just want to give you people something to think about.

You know I have a point.

~sTeW~

I Got a Question...

2009-02-04T11:57:00.002-05:00

First off I want to send a shout out to our new president. I know he reads my blog so I want to make sure that I show him so love.

WHAT'S HAPPENING BARACK!!! (yeah we are on a first name basis)

Now can you please get off my back. You got your shout out. Don't you have a country to run, go and sign some treaties or something.

"If the man wants you to show him some love then show him some love, he is the president you know. If I were him I would have you shipped of somewhere. But then again I would have you shipped off anyway."

Violence never solves anything Douglass.

"Who said anything about being violent. I would sedate you, put you in a box, then have you send to South America somewhere."

Good luck with that.

Anyhow....

I was thinking about all the cool perks that come with being the president. You get 24 hour care, you do not have to pay for anything for 4, possibly 8, years so on and so forth. In my personal opinion, one of the best perks that come with being the president is you get to add anything to the White House that you want. For example, Obama said that he is going to add a basketball court. This is a great idea. He love to play ball, so he should not have to go to the local gym and risk assassination, he can just invite some folks over and play.

Which leads to my question...

If you were president, what would you add to the white house?

I the first thing that came to my mind, go-kart track. I do not want to go-karts that you ride at Putt-Putt, I want the ones that go 30 mph and you have to wear a helmet. I would get my go-kart specially made my NASA so they could put a rocket on the back. I would not lose. Everyone would be like 'Man President Stew be cheating!!!' and then I would say 'It's not my fault I have the rocket kart. If you want one, become president.' Then I would laugh and speed away on my rocket kart.

I love my imagination.

~sTeW~

Douglass' Weekly Sex Tip

2009-02-02T23:46:00.003-05:00

"FINALLY!!! KING DOUGLASS HAS COME BACK......TO BLOGSPOT. (That's a small wrestling reference to those of you who did not catch on.) I have been waiting and waiting to make my triumphant return, and now I am back. Is there a better way to return than on my own personal segment? I don't think so."

So are you satisfied? Are you happy that you have finally made your comeback?

"I thought you were sleep?"

I will not classify you crushing up a sleeping pill and putting it in my drink as 'sleep'.

"What makes you think I had anything to do with that?"

NOONE ELSE LIVES HERE BUT US, AND I DID NOT DRUG MY DAMN SELF!!!

"Well if I did it....then technically you did."

..............

"Well I am assuming that your silence mean I can begin."

"Hopefully, this week's topic will open a few minds, and lead some of you to step out of you sexual comfort zone and try something new. If you ask me, sex is all about exploring the limits of your body. It's about finding the things you do like, and exploring the things you thought you would never do. So let's jump right into it"

"The anus. Most people are not very receptive to the idea of the anus playing a part in sex, but if stimulated properly the anus can provide a great amount of pleasure for both men and women. I know most men will not dare have anything come close to their anus, I would even assume that washing themselves provides great discomfort. (I wonder if these same people have to say 'no homo' as they touch their naughty places)"

"I have always been curious to hear why people are so against anything anal related. I understand there are the obvious reasons, like 'That's where feces comes from' & 'It smells back there'. These, like all the other issues, can be solved by simply washing well. Another problem that frequently comes up is pain. The only way to get past that is to take it slow. I am not saying the first time you decide to experiment you should just go crazy, you should do just enough so that you are comfortable, then take it a little further each time you decide to try it again. Eventually you will get to a point where you are completely comfortable, and then you can really begin to enjoy it. Lastly, most guys are worried about it being gay. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE GAY IF YOU HAD A GUY BANGING YOU OUT. But never have I heard of a woman giving a man pleasure being called gay. Simple enough."

"In closing, the next time you have a curiosity about anything anal related, think about what you have read here."

"You will thank me later."

±DoUgLaSs±

Bet you forgot about this

2009-02-01T11:46:00.002-05:00

And who is that making a cameo.....Halle Berry. That woman does not age. Also, this is when I thought Mya was unattractive, as a matter of fact I still think she is unattractive in this video. Now she is fine, but back then she was ugly to me.

Oh well.

~sTeW~

Super villains are not all that super

2009-01-29T13:27:00.003-05:00

The good thing about walking to school everyday is that it gives you a lot of stuff to think about. My last post was about my lack of common sense. Most of my discoveries about the simple things in life come when I am either zoned out letting my mind wander or when I am walking.

"Why does it seem weird that you have these ground breaking epiphanies when you aren't trying? Regular people think about smart things when they try. What does this say about how you feeble mind works when you are trying to use it?"

I thought that by now you would realize that insulting me is just like insulting you. We share the same brain.

"This is true, but I am sure that I am only confined to the smart half of your brain. Your thoughts seem to come from the side that I have nothing to do with. So don't start trying to bring your crap over here. Everything over here has been going good."

You mean 'going well'?

"I meant what I said you asshole."

No need to get feisty....

So today on my way to school I had a thought.

Like most kids in the early to mid-90's I was a HUGE fan of the Power Rangers. The first thing I thought about was the opening sequence when Rita came out of her hole and said 'It's time to conquer Earth.' Nothing wrong with that, why not try to take over the world. Not only will you never get bored while you are attempting to accomplish this feat, if you succeed you would have done something no other person/alien/life-form has ever done. I have no problem with a villain trying to take over the world.

My problem lies with the fact that Rita would always try and take over Angel Grove first. What was so special about that place that the she absolutely HAD destroy it before she could move on? It's like the rest of the world will not fall unless you get rid of Angel Grove. From what I could see there was nothing especially exceptional about that place. It seems that the best thing about Angle Grove was the juice bar. That is where the Power Rangers always hung out, and that is where EVERYTHING was held.

In my opinion, Rita should have started in Australia or some other isolated place, then work her way to the rest of the world. She had endless magic and monsters at her disposal, and she could make them grow 200 feet tall. She should have had no problems taking over the rest of the world.

But this does not only sit true for Rita on the the Power Rangers. This can be applied to every other super villain in the history of comic books and TV. Why does Lux Luthor HAVE to stay in Metropolis why not go and take over some other major city? The Joker would be very successful in ANY other city in the world, why not leave Gotham? The Kingpin already has a tight hold over New York, but why would you want to deal with Spider-Man every time you cook up a new scheme?

The choice seems obvious to me.

So if you ever decide to become a super villain, remember what you have read here. If you become successful, then get stopped by some super hero, pack it up and move on and make things easy for yourself.

~sTeW~

"One excedrin tablet short of a full medicine cabinet..."

2009-01-14T19:15:00.002-05:00

This is how I feel about myself sometimes.

I have been loaded with an exceptional amount of book smarts, but my common sense has been severely cut short. I wish I could learn common sense the same way I learn things out of a book. This would have helped me immensely when I was younger. All of my friends knew me as the "nerd", and they knew that if they were confused about anything that required real intelligence they could ask me. On the other hand, anything common sense based I was completely lost.

"You are lost about EVERYTHING anyway. Sometimes I am embarrassed to be associated with you because of your absent mindedness. If you were more like me then you would not have these problems."

I am sure that everyone wants to be like Douglass.

"You damn right they do. That's the smartest thing you have ever said to me."

I wish I could say that you have said something smart to me.

For example, I remember watching the intro to The Fresh Prince, and for the longest I was so confused about how they were able to make him go upside down with out him falling out of the chair. This question haunted me until about a year ago when someone told me that he is laying on his back and the camera is above him. I was so relieved to have finally discovered the solution, but the person who told me could not believe that I did not know. There have been many examples like this in my lifetime, it is like I am finding out all of the world's secrets a decade later than everyone else.

"Why don't you just admit that you are an idiot? Once you do that then you will be able to move forward, and I am pretty sure that you will feel better about yourself."

Things were so much quieter when you were not here.

"Well I'm back now. Deal with it."

Anyhow...

Hopefully one day I will find a way to develop common sense, but until then I will have to settle for looking stupid because I do not know where rain comes from.

~sTeW~

My Triumphant Return.......I mean....Our Triumphant Return

2009-01-12T15:59:00.002-05:00

We are 12 days into 2009 and I must say that it FEELS like a new year. This is the first time in....well....ever, I can say that the new year FEELS different. I think it is because all the issues of last year are finally in the past, and it is time to create new issues for the new year.

Douglass has returned, and he is hyped up about the new year. He seems to be pretty excited about posting, so you should be hearing from him pretty soon.

MIXTAPE UPDATE!!!!

As of right now I have about 10 songs ready to go. I think I am going to drop a single on you all pretty soon. I think I am going to drop it on Niki's blog SingleBubblePop, so I will let you know when I do that. I am having a hard time figuring out which one to release. I am trying to pick one that shows off my style and my humor. I will have to get some opinions from some people.

I know I have said this before, but this time I really mean it. I am going to get back to posting more. I found out that I have more loyal readers than what I thought, and I feel like I am letting them down by not posting as much as I could. With that being said, MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION IS TO GET BACK TO POSTING MORE OFTER.

Until next time.

~sTeW~

Happy Holidays

2008-12-25T04:37:00.002-05:00

First off I would like to welcome Niki back to the states. After a 6 month absence I am happy to have her back on this side of the world.

Next on the agenda, I would like to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. And what ever other holidays you are celebrating out there. I hope everyone stays safe and thoroughly enjoys themselves.

Also, I am making progress on my mixtape. As of right now I have two more tracks in the making, Go Soft & Azma Attack. I need a female voice for Azma Attack, and I must say that it has been pretty hard to come by. Since I have been home I have let a few people listen to what I have so far, and just about everyone has liked it. They have been laughing a lot and that is all that I ask for. Most surprising to me is how much my dad is into it. He walks around the house singing my songs. It is a little weird. I got an offer from Niki to debut some of the music on her blog, but I have not made up my mind. If I do I will definitely let you all know.

Lastly, Douglass is back, and he will be making his return pretty soon. I have no clue what he will have to say, so just brace yourself.

Again, Happy Holidays.

Stay Safe

~sTeW~

It's Official...

2008-12-10T01:20:00.003-05:00

Have you ever sat around and talked about doing something for months and months. Maybe something like:

'I'm going to start reading more.'

'I'm going to to start exercising again.'

perhaps

'I'm going to stop picking my nose.'

Sadly enough, even when you said these things to yourself, you knew in the back of your head that you would continue to procrastinate. Well unlike all of you lazy people out there I got up off of my butt and did started on the task that I have challenged myself with.

I have officially.......

STARTED ON MY MIXTAPE. (cue superhero music)

So far I have 6 songs finished, and I must say that I really enjoy rapping. Now do not get me wrong, I am not SERIOUSLY pursuing a rap career, I am recording the music on my laptop. I just enjoy making music. The whole purpose was to make a mixtape and send it to my brother, because I knew he would get a good laugh out of it. So far, so good. But if you ask me, I am actually putting together some pretty good songs, given what I have to work with.

I started out by recording in my living room, turns out that the sound travel does not get picked up well in there (too much open space), then I moved into my bathroom (still too much echo), then I found the perfect spot to record my hot rhymes...a closet. There is not any echo, and it is completely silent. I could not have asked for a better place (except for an actual studio that is).

So far my tracklist is as follows, but in no particular order

1. Crazy Ass Dreams

2. Here For You

3. Cake Walk

4. One Word

5. Learn How to Count

6. Cleaned Up My Room

I can not express to you folks how much fun I have been having these past few days. The only really weird thing is that my mom is making me create clean versions of all of the song. I must say that replacing "dirty" words with "clean" words leaves you with a strange taste in your mouth. A little like when you brush you tongue too far in the back and you throw up a little. That is how it taste to replace "damn" with "darn".

My whole point in tell you this is so that you can get up off of your ass and do whatever it is that you have been meaning to do. Because if I can start recording my mixtape then you can pull that finger out of your nose.

It is going to start bleeding eventually.

~sTeW~

That Just Ain't Fair

2008-12-04T15:20:00.002-05:00

I like Tom Cruise.

Not because I think he is a good actor, I am not sure that I know what constitutes good a bad actor, but because he is a very physical actor and he makes good action movies. The Mission Impossibles are an awesome set of movies. He and Will Smith are guaranteed to run in EVERY movie they are in. I was not expecting to see Will running in Pursuit of Happyness, but dammit if he did not find a scene to explode into an emotion filled gallop. Hell, one of the main shots for the 7 Pounds trailer is him running in the rain.

But I digress...

In 2002 Minority Report was released, and Tom Cruise was the star. Yet again, Tom used his athleticism to make an action packed movie. But it is not the action of the movie that caught my attention, it was the premise.

Imagine living in a world where you could get in trouble for the things that you were going to to do, and not for the things that you have done. In the movie, this idea only applies to murders, but what if these rules were applied to EVERYTHING bad you did. What if the cops knew you were going to rob a bank before you did? What if your significant other knew you were going to cheat before you actually did it? What if your teacher knew you were going to plagiarize before you did it?

In my personal opinion I do not think it is very fair for someone to get into trouble for what they were thinking about doing. Just because the thought of chopping your boss' head off crossed your mind does not mean you were actually going to go through with it. Personally I think this is unfair to people who frequently have morbid thought, but never go through with them.

Here's something else to think about....

What if this were a service that could be bought? How bad would that suck? You girl/boyfriend could know in advance when you were going to break up with them, so they would do it before you had a chance to. Your friend knew you were going to eat the last slice of pizza so he beat you to it. That unattractive chick/dude at the club knew the only way you would sleep with him/her is if you were drunk so they bought you a bunch of drinks, and now you are waking up with a hangover trying to figure out why you are naked laying next to a Freddy Kruger look alike.

As you can see, there are many things that could go wrong if we develop the ability to see into the future.

Not only could you end up fire from your job or in jail...you could end up on the bad end of someone's diabolical plot to get in your pants.

~sTeW~

Bet You Never Though About That

2008-12-02T22:22:00.002-05:00

First off I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday. Hopefully none of you all got into any REAL trouble out there shopping on Black Friday. I know a couple of people who came close to catching assault charges messing with those crowds.

For those of you who enjoy Douglass' pseudo-intelligent humor, I am sorry to say that he is still on fall break, and he will not be back until next week. He sends his regards.

Wait....I'm getting a text from him right now. It says:

"F**k you Stew."

How nice of him.

Anyhow...

I had a conversation today with a some people and we were goofing off as usual, and some how we got on the topic of Santa Clause. I asked them:

If Santa was real, would you write to him?

To which everyone responded:

"Hell yeah, sometimes twice a day."

So then I asked:

What type of cell phone do you think Santa would have?

No one responded, so I said:

I think Santa would have a Blackberry.

To me this makes perfect sense. Even though I have never really sat down and used a Blackberry, from what I understand it is very good at letting you read your email and organize massive amounts of information. I think this would suit Santa very well. He has to have a way to organize his naughty and nice lists. He has to have a way to read all of the letters that people would send him. To me a Blackberry seems like a perfect fit for Santa

Next I asked:

What type of cell phone would Jesus have?

IPHONE!!!

My main argument for Jesus having an iPhone is that Jesus seems to be a flashy guy. Right now in the cell phone game there is nothing more flashy than the iPhone. Even though the number of people that have an iPhone is growing exponentially, Jesus would still have the most tricked out iPhone with some one-of-a-kind applications. For example he would have and application that answers prayers, or performs miracles from half way around the world. He would not even have to get up to do his thing.

With all of this talk about all powerful beings having cell phone, it got me thinking about real people and what kind of cell phone they would have had.

You folks tell me.

What type of phone would these people have?

MLK

Ghandi

Hitler

Malcolm X

Harriet Tubman

Moses

Bruce Lee

Abraham Lincoln

Napoleon

Black Beard (Don't know who this is??? Look it up)

I bet you never thought about that.

~sTeW~

Let's Take a Step Back

2008-11-18T12:39:00.005-05:00

Much to my mother's dismay, I have not posted about Obama's victory. I try not to write about what other people have already posted. Now that I think about it, that is not a good idea, especially when it come to a historical event of this magnitude.

I am going to refer back to a previous post of mine. For those of you who did not click on the link, it was about the what the "average black man" in America is. I got some very very nice response, and to this day that post is one of my favorites.

"So you don't support Obama?? Is that why you have not posted about him and his decisive victory?"

...

"Nothing to say huh??? I knew it. I knew you would not be in line with the most important black man since Dr. King."

I'm not responding because you are an idiot.

Anyhow, Obama's presidency will redefine what it means to be a black man in America. I am hoping that nothing but positivity will come from Obama and his family being in the limelight and that the world will address what it means to be a black man.

In my eyes, the face of the "average black man" has changed.

NOW WE HAVE HOPE

~sTeW~

(Are you happy now mama???)

I Got a Question

2008-11-13T16:16:00.005-05:00

Note to reader: THIS POST MAKES A FEW BROAD GENERALIZATIONS ABOUT RACE. NOTHING HURTFUL THOUGH. SO IF YOU HAVE BEEN OFFENDED BY SOMETHING THAT I HAVE WRITTEN BEFORE....I AM PRETTY SURE YOU WILL GET OFFENDED AGAIN.

I do not know if I have every told you folks this. I go to The Pennsylvania State University, or just Penn State. Home of the Nittany Lions.

"What the hell is a Nittany Lion? Sounds like some punk ass lion that kicked out of the pride and started his own group!!!"

Apparently it is a species of mountain lion that was unique to this area. They were found on Mt. Nittany, hence the name Nittany Lion.

"Still sounds like a rejected mountain lion. And you are a punk for going to a school with an extinct mascot."

Why is it that you never have anything positive to say?

"Well I don't know about other days, but today I'm just hyper. I had two of those 5 hour energy shots and 4 Red Bulls. I'm ready!!!!"

For what?

"Whatever life throws at me."

Your heart is going to explode.

The point in mentioning the school that I attend is not to get Douglass all hyped up about the mascot. Here is what I am getting at:

When you go to a majority school, you see people of EVERY race/ethnicity. You name it, it's here. Today I was walking to the bank and I looked at this Asian chick and I thought, "Wow, her hair looks really good." So that got me thinking...I have never seen an Asian, man or woman, with bad hair. So I have come to the conclusion that all Asian people have nice hair. Maybe they put more time into their hair, or maybe nature has blessed them with that bounce most people would kill for. Whatever the reason, I am making that statement.

So that got me thinking about the good qualities in all races, because all races/ethnicities have good and bad qualities. I am not just talking about physical traits, it can be personality traits, culture, ANYTHING. For example, a good quality about white people is the privilege and opportunity that comes with being white.

So my question to you is...

What qualities from other races/ethnicities would you like to have for yourself?

I understand that most of you will probably say "I am happy just the way I am." I am pretty sure that MOST people are happy the way they are. This is just a thought exercise that is supposed to be fun, and maybe a bit funny. So go crazy, have fun with it. I will not judge you for anything you may come up with. This is one of those rare times that...

Stereotypes are more than welcomed!!!

~sTeW~

Movies are not ALWAYS fake

2008-11-11T14:30:00.002-05:00

To some of my more faithful readers, it is brutally obvious that I am a BIG BIG movie fan. I will watch just about any movie, if I can catch it, but I am very picky about what movies I decided to spend my money to go and see. What I find most interesting about my interest in movies is that I tend to examine movies on a much deeper level than what they were originally intended.

"This is because you have no life. You need to be more like me and get out more. Stop spending all of your time in the movie theater and in the house. Go out and enjoy life. DAMN!!!"

Douglass, how do you go anywhere with me with you?

"That is not the important thing here. The important thing is that you get the hell out of the house. I am sick of always having to watch lame ass movies. There are plenty of things to do and people to meet out there on the streets."

You get in trouble on the streets. You and I both know that. Now quiet down, I have to get to the point.

"Please do. I'm getting sick of your rambling."

In recent years, one of my favorite movies has been Mr. & Mrs Smith. It is now being played on FX which is what prompted me to write about it. In my opinion, the movie does a great job contrasting the emotions and actions of men and women when their relationship gets turned up-side-down. Let us not forget, this is an action movie.

I do not know how many of you have seen the movie, but for those who have, think about how differently John and Jane reacted to the situation. Jane was very impulsive. She did and said things that she regretted. John on the other head kept a cool head and tried, with little success, to talk it out and gain some understanding about what was going on. Jane, like MOST women, allowed for her emotions to take control and did not consider the implications of her actions until afterwards. Also, she was very negative during the whole ordeal. For example, John said to her: "I want this story to have a happy ending." she responded: "Happy endings are for stories that aren't finished." (This was the scene where they were dancing... one of my favorite scenes) If you ask me, she was being extremely negative and was not even trying to hear John out.

I must say that John did something very stupid. Why would he chase after Jane's car with a gun in his hand? What was Jane to expect when he shot a hole in the windshield? He should have left the gun in the house, and that entire situation could have been avoided.

The main point I am getting at is that men and women are polar opposites when it comes to dealing with a crisis, especially when the crisis is an affair of the heart. Men tend to keep a more calm disposition, while women tend to take actions that are full of passion. With both approaches there are pros and cons. Maybe there is a situation that calls for a man to act with more vigor, but since we do not naturally tap into those types of emotions, we could potentially make the situation worse. Also, sometimes it is good that that a woman acts completely out of impulse due to her emotional outburst, it does not ALWAYS have to have a negative impact.

"Sometimes I think you are a woman."

Nothing I say is ever absolute. There are exceptions to every rule. But for the majority...

YOU KNOW I'M RIGHT.

~sTeW~

How Long Will This Last???

2008-11-08T18:35:00.002-05:00

Now... I understand that this music is not meant for me. I know this. But this crap is giving Hip-Hop a bad name. We have to stop classifying this crap as Rap/Hip-Hop and give it a different genre. Like Wacky Crap, or TMM (Talentless Music Movement). No matter what it is called, something has to be done.

~sTeW~

What Happens When You Can Not Forgive Yourself???

2008-11-06T14:44:00.004-05:00

Before my previous post I had been away from blogland for close to a month. I felt bad a little bit because I JUST got finished telling you folks that I was going to try and post more often. I just could not overcome the pseudo-depression that I had worked myself into.

I almost never let anything get to me, hence the name of my blog, but every now and again my emotions build to a breaking point and I cannot stop myself from feeling my emotions. During my time away I had to deal with someone who knows all of my deepest darkest secrets. This person knows how to make me hurt, how to break me down to my most basic emotional self. I was forced to look at myself in a way that I had been avoiding for a VERY long time.

Of course, the person I am referring to is MYSELF.

For the record, I am not talking about the "Douglass" part of myself, I mean the part of me that stays locked away on average 364 days a year. His name is Stewart. Stewart moved in with me, and forced me to confront myself and take responsibility for everything that I have done. Made me experience emotions that I had long forgot I had. I have begged him for forgiveness, but he will not grant it. He knows that for me to truly understand the gravity of my actions, that I need to hurt. And hurt I did. Everyday I was forced to relive recent events, force to play every painful sentence back in my mind. I reluctantly did as I was told and endured the painful experience. I kept to myself for days at a time. I hid my feelings from the rest of the world, but when I returned to the solitude of my apartment the pain returned.

At this juncture, I am doing much better. The pain has subsided to bearable standards, but Stewart is still around. He will not forgive me because he does not think that I have hurt enough. Maybe he is right. But I will not give up. I am going to do everything in my power to put myself back on the right track, send Stewart packing.

Until then, me, Stewart, and Douglass will have to learn to play nice.

~sTeW~

Tip Your Garbage Man

2008-11-04T14:21:00.005-05:00

"My god!!! What's that awful smell? Smells like bananas, spoiled meat and used diapers. Many, many used diapers."

Oh, sorry. That is me Douglass. I just got in. It does not smell that bad does it?

"WHAT!?!?!?! That's like looking at Sarah Jessica Parker, and saying, 'She is not that ugly'. She is hideous, and you smell like roadkill."

Well what do you want me to do about it, I spent all morning picking up people's garbage and throwing it on a truck.

"I WANT you to burn those close and then wash your ass. That's what I WANT you to do about it. Don't touch any of my things."

Sure thing...

*After a 30 min shower*

"See how much difference soap and water can make? Wait....I just thought about something, what the hell were you doing picking up garbage? You got some kind of kinky fetish or something? I knew you were nasty, but damn."

Your stupidity knows no bounds. I did it because of a bet I made with a friend of mine, we will call him Slick Willy. Slick Willy got busted for public urination when he took a piss on the sidewalk before he went into the club. I was not there when it happened, but from what I hear, he was BLASTED and thought that it would be a good idea to take a piss while standing in line. I think he got some on some people's feet. Needless to say the cops came right when someone was about to pound his face in. At the end of the day, he had to do 30 hours of community service. One of the many different tasks he was given was being a garbage man for a day. When he came back and told me about it, he said it was the hardest thing he had ever done and bet me that I would not do it.

"So you do anything that people bet you? I bet you to leave and never come back. I would even pay you."

Though collecting garbage was not the HARDEST thing I have ever done, I have gained a new respect for those that do. I have always respected blue collar workers. These are the guys that make our lives easy to live. In my personal opinion, they get shafted the same way that teachers do.

It is hard to grasp the magnitude of trash. You have to stop at EVERY house, on EVERY street, in EVERY neighborhood. You cannot skip a single house. ALL TRASH MUST BE COLLECTED!!! You name it, I bet you I saw it in someone's garbage. Until you go from house to house on about 20 different streets, you will never understand how much trash we generate. What's worse is that Halloween just ended, which means I picked up so many damn pumpkins that if I see another one before next Halloween I may have to be committed. I want you to guess how much garbage we collected in about 5 hours of work. I will give you a second to come up with a number.

.........

You got a number? If you guessed 7.5 tons then you were correct. We collected 7.5 tons of garbage in 5 hours. And that was just two guys and one truck. There are an army of workers accompanied by platoon of trucks.

It was not all bad though. I got some good exercise, and I got to hang off of a moving vehicle. There are not too many jobs where you can jump off of a truck and not get yelled at. I felt like Will Smith's stunt double. If you have not done it, do it.

Just be sure not to fall on your face.

~sTeW~

P.S. Do your garbage man a favor and put your trash in bags. Do not just throw a bunch of individual pieces of trash away. When you bag it, it makes his life that much easier. Also, it stops him from memorizing your address and coming back to crap on your lawn.

Douglass' Weekly Sex Tip

2008-10-17T14:39:00.002-04:00

"I don't have anything clever to say this time. My message is very very clear this week."

"NO GLOVE, NO LOVE."

±DoUgLaSs±

Can You Compare The Two???

2008-10-15T13:01:00.002-04:00

A little while ago I wrote about the average black man. I think this video plays into what I was talking about.

Tell me what you think.

~sTeW~

Douglass' Weekly Sex Tip

2008-10-09T16:15:00.001-04:00

*whistle blows*

Penalty on the the play. Failure to verbalize. 1 date suspension.

*Douglass is pissed*

"Failure to verbalize. This is a common mistake both men and women make on a consistent basis. To put it in layman's terms, you don't let your partner know you are enjoying yourself through auditory responses while you are sexing. I am confused by this phenomenon. Ladies, if it feels good let him know by groaning or screaming, or by simpling saying 'That feels good'. Fellas, don't just get in there and hammer away, talk to her. Tell her that you are enjoying the experience as much as she it. You do not have to hold a full conversation, but give her some indication that you aren't just there to lay pipe. I am not saying that you have to be as ignorant as the folks from porn, but something is better than nothing."

"For the more advanced users, dirty talk can also spice things up between the sheets. Be careful though, sometimes dirty talk can get a little too dirty, and that can get you in trouble. For example, don't call your partner a 'FILTHY WHORE' if you have any indication that she may not like it. Ladies, don't try to get your partner more into the experience by telling him that he 'HAS A DICK LIKE A G.I. JOE' if you are not absolutely sure that he will not go into the fetal position and start crying."

"So remember, talking is not reserved only for the good folks at West Coast Productions, or Bang Bros. You and your partner can talk too. Just avoid conversations, and calling him/her by the wrong name."

"That could be disastrous."

±DoUgLaSs±

Parents...Someone Should Call Their Bluff

2008-10-06T23:00:00.000-04:00

There is this story that my brother likes to tell. The story always goes something like this:

Stew, you probably do not remember this but there was this time when you were younger and you did something wrong and mom was about to beat you. Well at one point she took a swing at you and missed. Do you remember what you said to her after she missed? You said 'Ah ha you missed me!' After that it was over.

Every time he tells that story it is funny. Neither me nor my mom remember the story, but if he remembers it then it has to be true.

"That sounds like something stupid you would do. I'm glad I was not around back then. She would not have caught us."

So you would have had us run away when we were 4 years old?

"Self preservation is the first law of nature my friend."

I am sure mom would have tried to KILL us. Please stop talking.

Recently I started think about all of the threats that no one ever calls their parents on. Like this one 'I will slap the taste out of your mouth', and the always scary 'I will knock you into next week'. And do not forget the all time classic....say it with me now.....

'I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND I WILL TAKE YOU OUT'

In the world of threats, this might just be the most scary. Tell me that the little hairs on you neck did not stand out of fear when your mom or dad said that. I personally received that threat, so I know how it feels.

Here's the thing....

I never thought that my mom would kill me. But I wonder if she would. Makes me want to go back in time and call her bluff. Be like, 'Really mom, so you are going to kill me because I did not sweep the driveway. Is that really worth going to jail over?' Needless to say I probably would not have any teeth left in my skull, but my point would be proven. Parents do not have the stones to kill their kid for hanging wet clothes on the brand new kitchen chairs (inside joke), but they will rough them up a bit, Mike Tyson style with the wet clothes still in the child's arms (same inside joke). And they do not care that the other kid is there watching glad that it is not him, but all the while thinking to himself, 'If that was me, she would not be landing all those punches' (end inside joke here).

So next time your parents deliver terroristic threats to you stand up for yourself, try not to wet your pants, and CALL THEIR BLUFF.

~sTeW~

Disclaimer: Stew is not responsible for any physical harm that may come to you from doing something this idiotic. I am sure that if you take this advice your next coherent thought would come to you from a hospital bed with your jaw wired shut.

When I Go Shopping

2008-10-05T18:11:00.005-04:00

I am not into shoes at all, but I know that they are essential to make a good outfit. Thanks to people like Kid. A and Niki, these multicolored shoes caught my eye. I am normally very strict about the color shoes I but because I never know if I have clothes to go with them or not. I am fairly sure I have clothes that go with these though.

As for the title of this post, when I go shopping I ALWAYS find stuff that I like for a low price. Guess how much I paid for these shoes put together..... go ahead, I will give you a second.

I paid less than $55 for both of them, not $55 a piece, $55 together. This is how I shop. Some of you are probably not impressed, but I am always happy with the things that I buy.

"I'm not impressed. Personally I don't like them."

I like them, but I am curious to know what you folks think about them. Good decision, bad decision, you do not really care. Let me know something.

~sTeW~

Douglass' Weekly Sex Tip

2008-10-01T12:00:00.001-04:00

*whistle blows*

Personal foul. Illegal use of teeth. Violator will be assessed a two date penalty. No fooling around until three dates from now.

*red flag hits sex ref in the face*

We have a challenge on the field. Yet again, coming from Douglass.

"There is no way that biting in the bedroom should be illegal. If anything biting should be encouraged. There is a certain aspect of pleasure that come along with pain. Well, not always, but in intimate situations this almost always holds true. Ladies you know what I am talking about. When HE is hitting that spot, and it 'hurts so good'. (Disclaimer: I have never, nor do I ever, want to be penetrated in the same fashion as a woman is. I can't speak for Stew though.) The pain that you would experience from biting would be similar to that. But don't restrict yourself to just biting. Scratching, hair pulling, pinching, slapping....just go crazy with it. All of those little things can enhance an intimate experience tenfold."

"I am not saying go out there and punish someone, even though if you are into the dominatrix thing then more power to you. All I am saying is a little pain can go a long way."

"Try it. Go out and bite someone, then ask to be bitten. If you don't like it then I will guarantee your money back. Well....since you didn't pay for this in the first place, I will probably tell you that you did it wrong, and that you should go back and try it again until you get it right."

±DoUgLaSs±

I'm More Than A Little Weird

2008-09-25T15:27:00.003-04:00

The best thing about having a laptop is that I can post from anywhere. For example, right now I am writing from the comfort of my toilet, and it IS mighty comfortable.

"This blog has hit a new low."

Green is not a color that suits you Douglass.

"So you work for the Style Network now?"

Say what?

"You are talking about colors not suiting me. I figured that you have given up your day job and went into fashion."

I always knew you were stupid.

Anyhow....

One aspect about my personality that most people do not know about is my overactive imagination. I rarely tell anyone about the crazy stuff that I cook up in my mind. I have so much fun with it. I absolutely enjoy living inside of my head.

Here's an example of what I did yesterday.

It is entirely possible to walk EVERYWHERE in this little town that I am in. Needless to say, walking is boring, unless you turn it into a game. So I find a person that is far ahead of me and try to catch up to them. To me, this is fun by itself, but I treat it like race with color commentators and everything. The commentators names are Jim & Tom. This is an excerpt from one of their last broadcasts:

Jim: Well Tom it does not look like Stew will be able to catch guy in the red hat this time.

Tom: I would not count Stew out just yet. As we have seen in the past, he has great closing speed and excellent stamina.

Jim: WAIT!!! It's looking like Stew is starting his world famous surge. We have never seen anyone pull away from him when he kicks it into high gear.

Tom: Guy in the red hat has no clue that Stew is coming up on him. He is powerless to stop him.

Jim: I spoke with Stew before the race, and he said that he really enjoys what he does and trains extremely hard for each and every event.

Tom: Stew is just a class act, right Jim?

Jim: I remember back in 98 after his huge comeback win over chick with really short shorts he stay behind and signed autographs for 6 hours. He kept a smile on his face the entire time.

My walk is about 20 minutes so this goes on for quite a while. Time flies by when I do silly stuff like this. It makes the walk so much more entertaining. Needless to say that sometimes I am sweating like a fat man in a sauna, but it is worth it in the end.

"MY GOD YOU ARE LAME."

Yes I know, but I have fun.

To me that is all that counts.

~sTeW~

No Matter What I Do...

2008-09-23T23:58:00.008-04:00

It is very hard to be me sometimes. Very few people in this world have the same experience that I have.

"I have said it before and I will say it again. You are not as great as you think you are."

Of course you would say that. Your entire reason for existence is to be a thorn in my side, and I thank you for that.

"That makes no sense."

With you being as negative and condecending as you are, it makes me feel SO good when I do something amazing.

"Safe to assume you are going to b

ore us with some pathetic story about something that you think you did well."

You know me so well. You would not be a good alter ego if you d

id not.

I realized years ago that no matter what I do I am really good at it. Most times I am good at it without trying to be. For example, this past weekend my class went on a field trip to Green Lake in Fayetteville, New York.

"TIMEOUT. Field trip? I thought you were in grad school, why are you taking field trips?"

*Ignorance tuned out*

While we were on the field trip I took the opportunity to try my hand at nature photography. Instead of me telling you how great the pictures were, I will just show you.

Then we went to this waterfall.

This last one is just me showing off.

Damn it is tough to be me.

~sTeW~

I Got A Question

2008-09-16T01:38:00.004-04:00

I really hate it when I have a billion things that I could write about, but I am just to lazy to start typing.

"Seems as if you are too lazy to do a bunch of stuff lately."

Do you care to elaborate?

"I woke up last night and the bed was wet."

When did you wake up?!?!?! And what did you do?!?!?!?

"Not only is what I did none of your business, it is irrelevant. I am trying to figure out why I had to change the sheets last night."

Look man, after I fall asleep and you decide to take over, I can not be held accountable for anything that happens.

"Wait, so we weren't at a pool?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

"Go to hell Stew."

No can do. There is too much fun to be had, plus I have a question to ask the people.

A few years back I learned the answer to a popular tongue twister. Since then, when ever I asked someone if they knew the answer to the tongue twister they did not know. Like most people, I did not know that there was an answer to the question, so I was excited when I learned the answer.

The question is:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I am curious to know how many of you know the answer to this. DON'T CHEAT EITHER!!!

We are watching you.

~sTeW~

5 Things You Learn When...

2008-09-10T14:25:00.008-04:00

I must admit, this is one of my favorite segments to write. The bad thing is that it is not always easy coming up with a situation that you can learn 5 things from.

"How about '5 Things you learn when you read my boring ass posts' or maybe '5 Things you learn when you finally bow down to King Douglass'? I really like the second one."

Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?

"Survey says......No!!!"

Did not think so.

Douglass' excessive talking has given me a good idea for this installment. So I will jump right into it.

5 Things you learn when you have an out of control alter ego.

1. The thoughts that you are having are not your own. You begin to think:

-Why do I have a sudden urge to slap that person?

-Why am I craving a Newports?

-Where is this passion for goth chicks coming from?

2. You can end up in places without knowing how you got there. You begin to think:

-I know I fell asleep in my bed last night. So why am I in this dumpster?

-Why am I in this bed with a guy....naked?

-What did I do to get put in this jail cell?

3. You can sometimes assume the persona of your alter ego. Alter ego begins to think:

-It's my turn to have some fun.

-Show me the goth chicks.

-If I get drunk enough, I just might kill someone.

4. People start to think that you have lost your marbles. They begin to think:

-Whenever I see him/her he/she is always talking to himself/herself.

-He/She always looks tired. It's like he/she is living two lives.

-One day he/she likes *insert type of person*, but other days he/she is into goth chicks.

5. YOU start to think that you have lost your marbles. You begin to think:

-Why did that person just look me and call me a different name?

-I do not remember spending $200 at Hot Topic.

-Is it possible to develop a drug addiction overnight?

Maybe Douglass is out of control, maybe not. Maybe these 5 things apply to me, maybe not. Maybe I am feeling goth chicks, maybe not.

"You do like goth chicks, rocker chicks too. Do not act like I'm the only one with this fetish. Hell, you are the reason why I even pay them any mind to begin with."

All I am saying is that these are some situations to look out for if you have an alter ego.

Especially one that does not have your best interest in mind.

~sTeW~

(for those who do not know, the top picture is from a movie called Mr. Brooks. if you are still lost then watch the movie and read this post again)

I Got A Question

2008-09-09T15:23:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. I have been slacking off. I could not even last two week with this whole posting everyday thing

"This is why you should just give up at life. You are a failure. You should just let me take over, I promise your life will get back on track."

Do you remember what happened last time you took over?

"Of course I do, but I think it would be better if you told the people."

It would be better if I told them, because you can not remember. It is hard to remember details when you are passed out drunk on a sidewalk at Virginia Beach.

"That was a good night. Filled with free drinks and good times."

Yeah, good times for you. I was the one that had to deal with the hangover the next day. All you did was sleep. All that to say, you come out to play when I let you.

"You suck!!!"

So I have decided, in lieu of struggling to come up with something to post I am going to pose a question. You do not have to answer it if you do not want to, but these questions will always be concepts that I have always found interesting. Also, I know the answer to the questions, so you will not be able to pass with some nonsense if you do decided to answer the question.

"This is a stupid idea. I bet no one will even respond."

I have faith in my readers, someone will respond. Also, if they do not respond, I am sure the question will give them something to think about, and they will want to know the answer.

Today's question is....

What is the difference be accuracy and precision?

Follow up...

Is it better to be accurate or precise?

Have fun

~sTeW~

Stew is Awesome!!!

2008-09-02T21:22:00.002-04:00

"So explain to me why you would name this post that?"

We already talked about this. You remember we decided that today's post is going to be about self confidence and ways that people show it. How can you forget a conversation we had earlier today?

"How can you forget that I don't listen to half the crap that comes out of your mouth?"

And you wonder why no one ever takes you seriously. You are a part of me and I do not even take you seriously. Do you know how it feels not to take YOURSELF seriously?

"Obviously I do."

Oh......well I guess that makes sense.

Moving on.

Happy Tuesday readers. How are you liking this 'post everyday' thing that I have going on? It is not as hard as I thought it would be. I like feedback, so let me know if I am keeping up with the quality of the posts.

So as you probably already know, today's post is about self confidence and the different ways that people display that confidence. Some people insult others and talk down to people they feel are inferior. Others just share their knowledge in a respectful way. Some people ignore those who they feel are not on their 'level'. Others acknowledge everyone because they know they have nothing to prove. My mom tells me that I have this cockiness about me when I get to explaining something that I think that someone else does not know. I think that she is over exaggerating, but she is never wrong.

One thing that I do on purpose is talk in the 3rd person. Everyone tells me about how annoying it is, but I think it is funny.

"I think it is pretty lame."

Not too much more lame than having people put 'King' in front of your name.

"Hey, people are just going to have to respect the fact that I am King Douglass."

Anyway....

Stew is a pretty cool guy.

I guess he just wants the WORLD to know it too.

~sTeW~

Is it real?

2008-09-01T18:36:00.003-04:00

How many of you believe in something that has no explanation? Outside of religion, how many of you believe in ghosts, aliens, and stuff like that? No just physical stuff, but just certain beliefs about a given situation.

"I think the word you are looking for is superstition genius."

Thanks Douglass, that's a good place to st...

"That's King Douglass to you peasant."

Riiiiiiiiight.

Seriously, how many of you are superstitious? Show of hands.

What if when you did step on a crack you got a call from the hospital saying that your mother had suffered a broken back. Would you believe it then, or would it just be a terrible coincidence? What if when you broke a mirror your life was hell for 7 years, but after that 7 years you hit the lottery? I bet you would steer clear of mirrors for the rest of your life. What if knocking on wood really kept you from jinxing yourself? People would start walking around with wooden slabs in they pockets/purses/backpacks.

"So all of a sudden you are superstitious? I thought you did not believe in stuff like that. As I recall, you have been calling it 'stupidsticious' since you were a child.'

No, I am not very superstitious at all, but there is one unexplained phenomenon that I think the WORLD agrees exists......

KARMA

I am going to warn everyone right now. If I EVER fall completely off of the grid, it will be because karma is coming for me, or it has already taken me out. I have a very compelling argument against karma and why I think the concept is complete nonsense, but I can also argue for the existence of karma. I will just give the main points for and against karma.

Against: All karma does if play off of the fact that good and bad things happen to everyone in the world. The only reason the idea of karma exists is because people want to wish bad things on bad people without feeling like a bad person. This way their karma would not go into the negative.

For: The world needs balance. If someone does something bad then that person should have something bad happen to them. (For the fans of Full Metal Alchemist, think equivalent exchange) The argument for karma is just that simple.

"Ok... so all of that to say... what?"

If karma exists then it is going to come a me with a vengeance. So far in my life I have not had a lot of hardship, but I have hurt plenty of feelings and pisses bunches of people off. Recently, I have hurt enough feelings to last a few years. During this latest session of hurt feelings, I have been hurt as well, but it just does not balance out.

Karma, if you are out there, I am waiting for you. I must warn you that I am a fighter, and I will stand strong until one of us come out the victor.

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-08-29T17:16:00.003-04:00

"I really do hate that Stew censors me most of the time. I feel like I have a lot of important things to say."

If everything you said did not have a sarcastic undertone to it then I would let you speak more. If it were up to you then you would have the world bow down to you and hail you as their king.

"You damn right. King Douglass.....or King Dougie??? I don't know which one sounds better. But that is the only time I will allow anyone to call me Dougie. You hear that ladies, you can call me Dougie as long as you put the 'King' in front of it."

Man get off of yourself. I bet you would get off on people kneeling when you walk into the room and little kids running up to you asking for you autograph.

"I would LOVE for people to bow when I walk into the room, and in unison they all would have to say: 'Hail King Douglass. For he might just be the greatest person ever.' Then my response would be: 'I do only what I can, only for my fans.' I can see it now."

You really put a lot of thought into this haven't you?

"Ever since I was a little boy. Anyhow, you bring up a good point though. I would never sign autographs, I think they are pointless."

So I am guessing that this is the topic for this week's Not Fatal Fridays?

"I knew you were not as dumb as the way you sign your name on your posts suggests."

"If you ask me running up to someone and asking for their autograph serves no real purpose. All it does is prove that you saw the person. Why get them so sign some piece of cheap merchandise when you can just take a picture? You will look equally as stupid jumping up and down waiting for this butt hole to sign your $15 limited edition shirt that everyone else has or standing there with your arm stuck in the air trying to get a decent shot of that douche. So why not just take the easy way out and snap 100 pictures just to get 98 pictures of waving arms, 1 picture of the side of his/her nose, and 1 picture of his/her back as he/she gets back on their ridiculously huge tour bus/team bus/Maybach/private jet...you get the picture."

Well some people like that kind of thing. Some people just enjoy having something that their favorite person signed. There is nothing wrong with that.

"Yeah right. It is never possible to read what those simpletons write anyway. They just scribble the same nonsense over and over and call it an autograph. Also, there is no reason to get someone's autograph unless you are pretty sure that it will be worth something in the future. For you to get Ja Rule's autograph right now will be pointless. Unless he discovers the cure for AIDS or can solve world hunger, his (and many others) autograph will be as worthless as one of those cologne/perfume inserts that you find in magazines. As a matter of fact, I can not think of too many people's signatures would be worth anything now. Readers, if I am wrong, please correct me. You folks tell me one person who has a signature that could be worth something."

Call off the dogs Douglass, I think you made your point.

"So folks remember, getting an autograph from some clown is not fatal, therefore it's no big deal."

±KiNg DoUgLaSs±

The House Analogy

2008-08-28T12:00:00.001-04:00

Humans and primates are 99% genetically the same. That 1% can mean the difference between swinging on trees, throwing your own feces at your mama, and being able to walk on two legs and put on underwear.

"I thought you were a geophysicists. How long have you been a geneticist too?"

Animal Planet give me all of the information I need. You should know, we watch it together all of the time, but I bet you are too busy playing with yourself to notice huh?

"Well you can kiss my ass!!!"

Just shut up for a minute.

The fact that humans are fundamentally the same means that you can make certain blanket statements about the different sexes. Think about any stereotype that has to do with the opposite sex.......got one??

Good

This is the analogy that I use, I call it:

The House Analogy

Here's the way I see it. When you think about a house there are certain things that all houses have, door, windows, rooms, lights, ect. But the thing that makes one more expensive, or more attractive is how the house is laid out. Some houses have more rooms than others, some are bigger than other, some are laid out better. Bottom line some houses are better than other houses. But at the same time, that house has everything in it that makes it a house, and that house is going to do the job of a house, no matter how much better one house is than the other house.

So when you apply this to people, girls for example, it is safe to say that all girls are emotional. Think of that attribute (emotional) to be the lights in a house. Some houses have more lights, and some lights are brighter.

An example for men, all men like porn. Think about men liking porn as windows. Some windowns are cleaner, bigger and more abundant in different houses.

"So now you are trying to relate people to houses?"

I thought I asked you to shut up.

"Don't be mad at me because you so called 'House Analogy' is stupid."

Of course you would say that because you are mad that you did not come up with it first.

"..."

I want you folks to think about what I said, and let me know if it makes sense to you or not. I will be more than happy to clear up anything for you. In the mean time....

What is the make up of your house??

~sTeW~

BIG BIG BIG Announcement!!!!

2008-08-27T16:16:00.002-04:00

"Where is that idiot? I have been waiting here for 10 minutes. He said he had some BIG announcement to make today. I am sick of waiting on this guy, he is always late."

Good Douglass you are already here.

"It feels like I have been waiting here forever. I notice that you have been stressed lately, it has been affecting my performance."

What performance? All you do is follow me around all day. I am the only one who really does anything

"Well following you around and being lazy is not fun when you are stressed. I WANT TO PLAY!!!"

I think I am coming out of this bad place I have been in for the past two weeks.

"Good, because I am sick of having to deal with your nonsense. Now what is this big announcement that you wanted to make to our readers?"

For those of you who have been following this blog since its conception, you have probably noticed that I post about every two days. I wanted all of my readers to be able to read what I have written, and I wanted to have time to respond.

"Get to the point."

So I have decided that I am going to TRY and post everyday, but still keep the same quality that I have brought in the past. I am sure that I can come with quality material everyday, hell my mind is always working anyway.

"That's it??? That's the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT???"

Yeah, something wrong?

"You could have sent me a text or something. There was no need for you to make a huge deal about this and tell me to meet you at your apartment and all that crap. I'm gone."

For those of you who have not thrown a fit and left, stay tuned.

I have a lot on my mind

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-08-08T18:42:00.003-04:00

"Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have done one of my segments. I have been helping Stew with this paper that he has been working on. He can't seem to do anything without my help."

You have not helped me once. Every time I start to work on the paper you go to sleep. Yesterday I asked you to proof read it for me and you just turned over and continued to snore.

"Well you should have asked me earlier in the day."

IT WAS 7 O'CLOCK!!!!

"Like I said, you should have asked me earlier in the day."

Whatever man.

"During the little time that I do have to use the computer, I like to read tech websites, download music and other applications that our computer may need, and every now and again I read blogs. I asked Stew to suggest some good blogs for me to read and in this list of awesome blogs I came across Eb the Celeb's blog. To make a long story short, it seems she is scared to ask some guy out on a date. I also read Dejanae's blog and it seems as if she is having trouble asking a guy to dance with her in the club. It seems to me like these two ladies, and 90% of ladies all over the globe, are struggling with a disease I like to call Firstmoveitis. This is the topic of todays discussion."

"Since the beginning of the INDEPENDENT WOMAN MOVEMENT women have made great progress in the world. We are beginning to see more females in high position and getting better jobs. Though the pay is not equal yet, everyone can agree that women are making GREAT progress in this world. Every woman will tell you 'I can do the same things that a man can do'. If that is true what is stopping women from going up to a guy every now and again and asking him for his number? I bet if women began approaching us they will gain a new appreciation for the courage it takes to walk up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. Or how tough it is to approach a guy in the club and ask if he would like to dance. No one likes rejection, but guys have been dealing with it for CENTURIES. What's the point in standing around looking at a guy and talking to you friends about how fine he is if you are not going to do anything about it? I know that guys do it all the time, but most times when we do that, at least one guy out of the group will have the strength to walk over and say something do her."

I can honestly say that I do not disagree with you. I have been concerned about woman for a long time that are suffering from this disease. What are the symptoms?

"Symptom may include but are not limited to:"

Chronic 'Naw girl he gotta come talk to me'
Persistent staring and drooling
Difficulty speaking
Occasional 'He probably got a little dick anyway'
Fatigue resulting in 'He way over there'
Prolonged 'He could have came over here'
And a multitude of other symptoms/excuses

Are there any treatments?

"The treatment is simple. Take one cup of MAN THE HELL UP and call me in the morning."

"But do not think that I am just talking to the ladies here. This goes out to anyone who is making excuses for not going after a person that they are attracted to. So ladies do not think that I am singling you out.....even though I am."

"So remember, making the first move is not fatal, therefore it is no big deal"

±DoUgLaSs±

Eb and Dejanae please do not take this as me trying to take a shot at you or anything like that. It is supposed to be funny, that's it. If you took it as such, disregard this message.

Follow Up

2008-08-06T23:26:00.005-04:00

My plan was to follow up my last post with a discussion about why those kids said the things they did. But after reading the FANTASTIC comments left by my FANTASTIC readers there is nothing left for me to say.

"So you thought that these fine people were too stupid to elaborate on the subject on their on huh? You think you HAVE to be the one to start the discussion? Well hopefully this knocks you off of your high horse, takes your head out of the clouds, deflates your ever growing ego. You are not the ring leader you thought you were are you? Let me answer that for you.....NO."

Much to your surprise Douglass, it does not bother me that I will not have to elaborate more on this subject. For those of you who are interested in what I WOULD HAVE said, just go back to the last post and read everyone's comments.

"So now you want to play the role of a modest gentleman. Well I'm not buying it. You will always be the pompous know-it-all in my book."

And you will always be a figment of my imagination.

For those of you still paying attention, what I WILL do is elaborate on the the nicknames that I gave the kids, since many of you found them very entertaining. We will start with:

Ringleader - This is pretty self explanatory. This boys has every other boy following his every command. When he says jump the others ask "On who?" It is always amazing to me to see the respect a kid like this gets at such a young age.

Lion Tamer - She was one of the first kids that I met when I first arrived at the camp. She is very nice, and love to tell stories and jokes. Her little brother on the other hand is a handful. She warned me about him the first day I met her. She told me a story that went something like this:

LT: Just wait until you meet my little brother.
sTeW: Why? Is there something wrong with him?
LT: He is psycho.
sTeW: What do you mean psycho?
LT: This one time at school he pulled his eyeball out and ate it.
sTeW: How is that possible?
LT: I don't know, but he did it. He came home laughing about it.

Regardless of whether or not that is EXACTLY what she said, she is the only one who can can keep that little boy under control. Hence the name...LION TAMER

Legs - Just a tall girl. She just got braces, so I could have called her Brace Face or Train Tracks, but those are just so old school. Also I know how much braces hurt so there is no need to add insult to injury.

Iron Face - Have you ever ran across one of those people who face is COMPLETELY flat? I mean from a profile view all you can see is nose and lips. Absolutely flat like the face of an iron. I mean like this:

Get the point? Well that is what this girls face looks like. FLAT!!!

Carrie - Pure Evil. She is mean to everyone, and does it with the sweetest little smile on her face.
I mean it. And this girl's mom acts like she is just the cat's meow. More like Lucifer's cackle if you ask me. Mephistopheles in a 5 year old girl body. Period.

Well this ends the follow up. Hope this was as entertaining for you to read as it was for me to write.

~sTeW~

Can I REALLY get mad???

2008-08-01T08:59:00.006-04:00

When you stay in the middle of nowhere, sometimes you get bored and there is nothing to do. One day my mom and I had a conversation that went something like this:

sTeW - Hey ma!
Mom - Hey punky (one of her pet names for me)! What's up?
sTeW - I do not know what it is, but it feel like my life is missing something. I need to do something more with my time.
Mom - Well maybe you should get out there and start volunteering again. I was doing it when I was your age and it is well worth the experience. Also you meet new people and learn new things.
sTeW - You know what ma? That is a fantastic idea. I am going do do that.

So purely out of the kindness of my heart I begin to search for a place to do community service. I have always like working with kids, so this is an obvious choice for me. I send out a few emails, and I get a response from a lady who works at this "SUMMER FUN CAMP." This is perfect.

"So you expect us to be impressed by you or something? You want us to applaud your so called good deed? Plenty of people do community service and do not want any kind of praise. They do it because they want to give back to the community. They want to pass along their knowledge so that the next generation can become as good as, or better than their generation. You should be ashamed of yourself."

You obviously have no storytelling abilities Dougie. You have to set up the main story by giving some back story. Imagine watching a movie and goes right to the climax. You would be left with a million questions.

"That's why I don't tell stories. I spit facts. No more. No less. And the name's DOUGLASS. Call me Dougie again and we are gonna have problems!!!"

HA! HA! HA! Right. Well you enjoy your 'fact spitting'. I am going to continue with my story.

This "SUMMER FUN CAMP" is run out of a school in a small town about 6 or 7 minutes away from where I live. I have been going there for about 3 weeks now, and I must say that I really love it. The kids there are ages 5 - 12. Going there brings back all of these nostalgic memories of being a child. But there is one downside, and this brings us to the purpose of this post. That downside is:

At least one kid says something racist to me EVERYDAY.

If you did not know, I am in RURAL Pennsylvania. Do I need to elaborate? Did not think so. I can not get mad at these kids for what they say, I can not even explain to them why what they are saying is racist. Remember, I am just a voluenteer. Here are some examples:

Situation: We are at the pool. One of the older kids is telling me about his parents, and one of his lackeys is standing next to him. We will call the kid I am talking to Ringleader, and his lackey.....let us just call him Lackey.

Ringleader: My mom is white and my dad is black. But they got divorced a few years ago. It's cool though.
sTeW: Dang man that's too bad. How are you holding up?
Ringleader: I am fine with it. I am staying here with my mom right now.
Lackey: Yeah.....my mom is white and my dad is white.
Ringleader: Thanks, we can see that.
Lackey: I wish I were black though.
sTeW: *thinking* Here we go
sTeW: No you don't
Ringleader: *looking at me* Why not?
sTeW: I'm not going to get into all of that. He just does not want to be black.
Lackey: I want to be black because of football. All of the good players in the NFL are black.
sTeW: *looks down at kid*
sTeW: *begins laughing & shaking head*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation: Sitting and doing arts and crafts. Working with Fusion Beads. (You can make all kinds of cool stuff. Just put the beads on the template and use an iron to fuse them together) I make a star with a bunch of different colors on it. I am sitting there with a bunch of kids, but one decides to drop this little piece of knowledge on me. We will call her Lion Tamer.

sTeW: Aw man. I should have made the part in the middle red, black, and green.
Lion Tamer: What does that mean?
sTeW: Those are the colors that represent Africa.
Random kids: Cool. I did not know that.
Lion Tamer: Yeah well do you know what the colors white, black, yellow, and red mean?
sTeW: *thinks*
sTeW: *not expecting anything remotely racist*
sTeW: I do not know. What does it mean?
Lion Tamer: White is for white people. Black is for black people. Yellow is for Chinese people. Red is for Indians.
(uncomfortable silence)
(all eyes on me)
sTeW: *laughs uncontrollably*
sTeW: That could be the most racist thing I have heard in a while
Lion Tamer: My mom told me that.
sTeW: *shakes head*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation: We could be doing anything, anywhere. A couple of the girls have said this. We will call one of them Legs, and the other Iron Face.

sTeW: *sitting & talking* or *sitting & doing arts and crafts* or *sitting & trying to stop kids from sitting on me*
Legs: *rubs my head like a vomit stain* Your hair is fuzzy!!!
Iron Face: *rubs my head equally as hard* Yeah it is fuzzy!!!
Both: *laugh like they were watching Hannah Montana*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation (My personal favorite): I am there for maybe 20 minutes and I am watching these kids do Bead Buddies. (It is just string and beads and the kids make animals and necklaces and bracelets. You get the idea) I get approached by this little 5 or 6 year old girl. She is evil. We will call her Carrie. (Who gets the movie reference?)

sTeW: *envious because I am having a hard time with Bead Buddies*
sTeW: Can someone help me? I am terrible at this.
Carrie: *turns to me and smiles* Are you allergic to chocolate?
sTeW: What?!? No. I am not. Why do you ask?
Carrie: *still smiling* Because you are brown, and brown people are allergic to chocolate.
sTeW: *literally ROFLMAO* I have to write this down.
sTeW: *still laughing... manages to get off of the floor and go into kitchen where phone is located*
Random Counselors: sTeW, what's so funny?
sTeW: These kids say something racist everyday.
Carrie: *followed me and stands at the door*
sTeW: *points at Carrie* Her.
Random Counselor: What did you say to sTeW?
Carrie: *still smiling, repeats entire conversation*
Random Counselor: Well why do you think they are allergic to chocolate?
Carrie: Because they are ugly!!!
sTeW: *returns to floor, and continues to LMAO*
(after a side conversation with the Counselor)
Carrie: I was just kidding. *skips away*
sTeW: *incapacitated by laughter, takes a short nap on the kitchen floor*

This has become pretty lengthy. I just wanted to set the mood for the conversation that is to come. You know I can not just give you a situation without wanting to talk about it. Next time we will get to the heart of the matter. So enjoy this, and until next time remember:

Control the pet population, have you pets spayed or neutered.

~sTeW~

Time for a recap...

2008-07-24T19:48:00.003-04:00

This is 1/3's comment on my last post

um stew whose talking in Italics lol

wow I can say Ive never had to have my eyes dilated but in a not so literal sense I wish I could. I'm sometimes the person who thinks only my why.opening your mind to new things/experiences is a beautiful thing.

Great Post by the way:-)

Her comments, along with the fact that I KNOW I have new readers, impels me to invite everyone to read my VERY FIRST post (click here). This will answer any questions that you may have about why my posts are structured the way they are, and why my blog is name Unless It's Fatal...

Anymore questions, just ask.

~sTeW~

"D" is for Dilate

2008-07-22T16:08:00.005-04:00

There was a time in my life when I wanted to be an ophthalmologist. I wanted to find a cure for glaucoma because it runs in my family. I think this is why I like going to the eye doctor's office. I like to learn about the eye and how the eye works. The last exam of each visit involves the doctor giving you eye drops that dilate your pupils. Lights become brighter, and it becomes harder to focus because the muscles that control the pupils are relaxed.

"I have never had to have my pupils dilated because my vision is perfect. 20/20. Too bad for you four eyes. HA HA HA!!!"

As I left the doctor's office, barely able to see because I had to squint, I began to think about what it means for something to be "dilated." I came up with this definition from the virtual dictionary in my head.

dilate v. to open wide and allow anything inside

This is not the standard definition that you will get from Webster's or Roget's , but this will suffice for my purposes.

"Would it have killed you to have opened a dictionary? God forbid someone coming here trying to learn something. You are going to send them away with false information. I will not be a part of this."

Good so maybe you will shut up for once.

I like to think that I have a dilated mind. A mind that will allow anything inside. A mind that is willing to learn any and everything. A curious mind. An open mind.

I think most people lack an open mind. People are unable to allow themselves to think outside of their conventional way of thinking. This is why it is hard to make progress in this world. Its seems that the only progress being made is in science. The ONLY reason why progress is being made in science is because people train themselves to open their minds and allow many different ideas to enter their conscience. I am not saying that ALL scientists are open-minded, but when it comes to science their minds are completely open.

I am going to stop now before I start rambling. I just wanted to put an idea into your head. Maybe you will understand what I am trying to say, maybe you will not.

Dilate YOUR mind.

Maybe something good will happen.

~sTeW~

Why Are You Here?

2008-07-17T01:18:00.007-04:00

For some, blogging is a method of venting and getting their frustrations out of their bodies. Others use blogging as a way to convey information. Whether it be about the latest celebrity gossip, or how to fix a car, everyone blogs for a reason.

"I blog because you make me."

What?!?!?

"The only reason why I ever decide to write anything is because you are sitting here at this computer all of the time. I would much rather be out somewhere around people. You know I thrive off of human contact."

Well maybe if you stage a coup d'etat and seize control of my body you will get your wish. Until then, just be happy with the fact that I allow you to express yourself.

Moving on...

I like to think that I blog to provoke thought. Now, I know that have not presented you with anything that has made you reach into the recesses of your brain and pull out some deep seeded logic. This has not been my aim. I want to provoke "everyday" kinds of thoughts. The type of thoughts that would ordinarily be discussed over a glass of wine.

Have I done this? (Not rhetorical. Answer me.)

Now, on to those who read blogs. These are the people that I am most fascinated with. Why do you read blogs? In some instances, it is obvious why you do. If you want to find out who the new HOT celebrity couple is, blogs make it easy. The best recipe for chicken pot pie, there is a blog for you. New music, movies, technology, you name it there is a blog that has it. It is obvious why people read these blogs, these are not the blogs that spark my curiosity.

I am referring to the blogs like the ones that I have listed in my "Some Folks I'm Feeling" section of my sidebar. I am referring to my blog, and any other blog out there that does not serve a "specific" purpose.

Are you fascinated by the love of art that Niki and Tuesdai Noelle display on SingleBubblePop & Another Good Thought?

Do the antics of The Karrie B. & viva.la.lohan have you lusting to hear their newest stories?

Does -1-'s personalized writing style on ..::don't call it a comeback::.. make you beg for more?

Maybe it's the way 12kyle keeps it all the way real on 12th planet.

Does MsPuddin keep you thinking "Is she that wild and crazy?" when you read A Fresh Taste of Banana Puddin? Is that why you keep going back?

Does dejanae's bootleg style on Cool Glass of Dejanae make you want to be bootleg too?

I bet you want to check up on 1980 and see how his swagger search is going on SEARCHING FOR MY SWAGGER.

The cop stories on One Man's Look At This Nigger have you rolling do they not?

Journey Of A Gemini keeps us posted on the ins and outs of swag_ambassador's matriculation through this world of ours. Interesting right?

theBULLY lets us know know that you can be a bully, and still be a nice guy on Rantings of a Mad Black Man. You like that do you not?

Killer sketches, video of the day, interesting posts. What more could you ask for from Charles and My Complex Simplicities?

I know I can appreciate Knowledge of the Union's love for the rap game on Straight From The Gray Matter. Can you?

We all can not wait to see where Eb the Celeb is going to end up and the story she is going to have to tell on Renaissance Black Woman.

Is it the respect you have for kid.a's straight to the point style on through my plastic glasses i see...?

These reasons and more keep me reading what I call "Life Blogs". I like to know other people's stories. I like to know what makes someone tick.

So whatever reasons you read blogs, make sure you show love to some of your favorite bloggers, and let them know that you are there.

I just did.

~sTeW~

5 Thing You Learn When...

2008-07-14T23:50:00.004-04:00

Going off to college is a big deal. It is obvious that everyone knows this because EVERYONE wants to give you advice on the subject. They say things like:

Time management is the most important aspect of college life
Be sure to be careful, because this is your first time away from home
No one is going to be there to clean up after you
College is a much different from high school
You had better learn to budget you money

They tell you these along with the millions of other little tidbits that will make you time in college an enjoyable experience.

On the other hand there are an equal amount of information that no one thinks is necessary to provide you with. I am here to discuss some information I am sure you would have like to have had on your way to college. This kind of knowledge is priceless.

I am here to tell you the 5 things you realize when you wake up with your first hangover.

You never know how you got to your "final resting place". You begin to think:
-Who decided that a park bench was a good place for me to sleep?
-Why is my car why my mailbox used to be?
(Don't drink and drive)
-My body hurts. Is it because I climbed this statue and slept on a steel horse?
You will never be able to finish this sentence until someone finishes it for you:
-The last thing I remember is...
Your mouth tastes awful. You breath smells worse. You begin to think:
-I would love to trade mouths with one of the girls from 2girls1cup.com
(If you are naked) You might have done something you did not want to do. You begin to think:
-Who is this laying next to me?
-I hope he/she is not ugly.
-WHERE'S THE CONDOM?!?!?!?!?
-I wonder if I was any good?
-I wonder if he/she was any good?
-Where are my boxers/panties? (courtesy of that skit off of "The Love Below")
-(As a matter of fact, EVERYTHING off of that skit)
You will NEVER, EVER drink again. You begin to think:
-There is no way I will ever touch another drop of alcohol.
-Homecoming is right around the corner, but after that no more drinking for me. I feel terrible.
-My boy's/girl's birthday is next week. Well she gonna have to deal with me sober because I am done drinking.

As we all know, number 5 NEVER holds, and we are right back to drinking that next weekend.

This has been an informational session for any of you who have not gotten PLASTERED and would like some insight into the ordeal before you make that decision.

Drink Responsibly

~sTeW~

I Have a Thing for Quotes

2008-07-12T13:48:00.008-04:00

As I have stated before, this igoogle thing is ruining my life.

"Get rid of it then."

I like it too much. Anyhow, one of the gadgets I have on my page is the quote of the day. I have a thing for quotes. I live my life by a set of quotes & rules.

This one was up there today, and it describes how I feel about most things. Also it goes pretty well with what this blog is all about.

When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.

- Albert Einstein

You tell'em Al!!!

~sTeW~

It's been a while huh???

2008-07-09T17:44:00.007-04:00

Thanks to Niki and her damn Google Reader, I am subscribing to about 40 to 50 blogs. A lot of these blogs are written by women. I did not plan it like that, it just turns out that most of the blogs that interest me are written by women. Not only do I read the blogs, but I browse the comments that are left by other people. Again, most of the comments left, are from women.

"Sounds to me like you are trying to get deeper into the minds of women. Too bad you can't be more like me and know everything there is to know about women. That's why you never see me having any real issues, unlike yourself."

Contrary to what my misguided friend says, I never have issues with the opposite sex. I do not know why, it just turns out that way. But that is not what this is about. I have to stop letting you get me off topic.

"Without me you would just ramble on and on about crap no one cares about."

Moving on.

I have noticed something that I do not understand, and hopefully someone can help me out with. Whenever someone post about how they have not had sex in a while, there are always comments that echo the same sentiment. This is the part that I do not understand. First I will start out by saying that I understand that this is the Internet, and it is very possible that everyone is not telling the truth.

Let us pretend that no one lies for a second, and everything that goes up is truth.

If you girls out there want to have sex, then why not just do it?

I am not talking to the people who can not separate sex and emotion, so that cuts out over half of you, and I am not talking to the people who do not have casual sex, again another half of you. I am talking to the people who are comfortable with casual sex, but just are not getting any. I understand there is a lot to consider when it comes to picking a "partner", but it seems to me like it is worth the effort.

"Although I don't disagree with you sex being worth it, you have to understand the whole process from a females' point of view. I am going to walk you through this step by step:

Find a guy that is worthy of the "goodies" based on outward appearance alone (no clue of what they are packing, so it's like bobbing for apples)
Get the guy to notice them without giving off the wrong impression (every female is worried about looking like a ho)
See if the guy is worthy of the aforementioned "goodies" based on conversation and demeanor (if not, restart process)

This is where every one's approach differs. Some women go straight for the kill, while other want to wait a while longer to try and get to know the guy a little better. Assuming everything goes well there are 4 things that can happen.

The "package" is not up to standards and gets returned to sender.
The "package" is not up to standards, but is accepted just for the hell of it.
The "package" is up to standards, but is defective. (breaks down too early or is not used properly)
The "package" is up to standards, and it brings you tremendous joy.

This is an annotated list, but this is basically what women go through. From what I understand the fourth option does not does not happen much."

I wonder why that is???

~sTeW~

Responses to "Average Black Man" Post

2008-07-04T02:28:00.004-04:00

I want to thank those of you who responded to my last post. You folks gave me a lot to think about.

The first person to respond was Chris

"I think the average black man is a brother who has identified what he wants and is making a conscious effort to go get it. We all have our dreams and goals in life, but unless we act on making them happen, they just sit there. I do think that it's up to us who are doing right to make more of an effort to stand out in the crowd so that black men don't continue this poor rap that we are getting in the media (I oughtta know, I work in it around people who feel that way about us)."

Next up was Karrie B.

"the average black man is (probably) a sexist, racist, homophobic, uneducated, ignorant, drug-dealin', fast-talkin', city-slickin', skanktastic, 40-sippin', joint smokin', shuck and jive, livin-wit-his-momma-@-35 coon who talks a lot, but doesn't really say much."

Then came Niki

"i think the average Black man is wounded and disenfranchised to some degree. Although I've been exposed many Black men (including yourself) that are grindin' to have a better life later, and many hardworking good Black men (like my dad) I see that there is a greater number that are not doing either. I know too many Black men who are either lost, or just barely getting by with no long term plans."

After that was PrettyBlack

"The average black man is the same as the average white man, the average black woman, the average white woman...

Average meaning usual or normal. Period. The average black man is a usual or normal brother living to the standards of society just as anyone else.

Obama- Above average brother.

fitty- below average brother with above average paper.

Lil Wayne- below average brother with above average paper.

Any brother in college (actually going to get deegree'd is above average. Since the average is median...job...income...education.

The Karrie B described below average brothers.

Maybe you weren't looking for scientific Stew, but that's all a sister has... :-)"

Last but not least was One Man, and I would say that he knocked it out of the park

"First off, Stew. I still think you crazy and I also think you are the average black man. I think I am the average black man. I like the qualities that you posted about the average black man. I fit those, minus the unpaid parking tickets (I've gotten two and paid them in full).

The average black man is a byproduct of his society, but only when they rise above whatever negative traits that society has held over him. The average black man does not make excuses about his up bringing, he knows that his upbringing is what it is, he deals with it as the truth and is still able to get past it and go on to something better. It might not be great, but it gets him by and keeps him strong.

The average black man makes mistakes, because he his human, but not those big mistakes that will get him tossed in jail or marked for death.

The average black man understands that knowledge is power and he might choose to get a degree or he might choose to just get enough knowledge to be one step ahead of the next guy.

The average black man knows what it means to be a black man in the work a day world of our. He knows that there is hatred and misunderstanding of his race and yet he moves past that. He realizes that no one but he and God has power over his destiny in life. Furthermore he does not see his sex or his color as being "two strikes against him" because he considers it an honor to be a black man in this world and even more of an honor to be a black man who can succeed in this world.

The average black man does not let the weight of the world hold him down long, because he knows that he is strong and that no matter how hard it gets, someone else has it harder and he knows that he is blessed to still be granted the opportunity to live one more day.

The average black man loves his people to the point that he can criticize them for the stupid and deadly things they do and say and know that he does so out of love and not out of hate or self loathing.

I believe the average to black man to be all of this and so much more. And from one average black man to another, I think you for writing this post.

Sincerely, my brother."

Again...Thanks everyone.

~sTeW~

The Average Black Man

2008-07-01T12:46:00.012-04:00

(To anyone who is new to my blog I would suggest that you read my first post so that you are not confused about what is going on here. I can not have you folks thinking I am crazy.)

So I have decided to take a break from working on my research to get a few ideas out of my head. After reading -1-'s latest post it reminded me of conversation I had recently.

"Who were you talking to?"

That is what I can not remember. I do not know whether I was talking to someone on the phone, or if I was just having a conversation with myself.

"I'm pretty sure you and I had this conversation."

Alright then....I was having this conversation with myself.

"Exactly."

Anyhow, we were discussing who/what the "average black man" was. So I decided to do a Google search. I typed in "average black man" and got nothing useful. In most cases I am a cynic, but when it comes to the state of black people I am more of an optimist.

I would like to say that the average black man...
-is educated with a decent job
-does not have much more than a few unpaid parking tickets on his rap sheet
-knows how to conduct himself in public
-knows how to treat women
-is able to take care of his responsibilities (whatever they may be)
-is not the ANIMAL the media portrays them to be

I would like to say those things, but experience is telling me that these things are not true.

"But can you assume that all of these things are their fault? What happened to the 'product of their environment' speech that you used to give? I told you then that that was some nonsense. We know of too many success stories that negate that argument. Hell, just look under your roof. There go two success stories right there. Then look at it from the other side. We also know plenty of people that don't have the excuse of 'I grew up in the hood' that still ended up on a bad path. If you ask me it all comes down to the decisions that you make."

Sometimes it can not be helped, but is that a valid excuse for an entire sub-group of people? How long are we going allow ourselves to continue this decent into nothingness? It is obvious what the rest of the world thinks about us. We see it everyday in the media, and on the streets. The entire world is scared of us. Not because of anything positive that we do, but because of the negativity that is cast upon us. Although I could go on and on about this, I will not. The point I am trying to get across is obvious.

I am not trying to get on my "soapbox" and talk down on anyone, I do not want you folks thinking that. I am simply posing a question.

What is the average black man?

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-06-27T21:14:00.006-04:00

"You know, for a guy that live by the motto 'Unless it fatal, it's no big deal' Stew seems to let weird little thing bother him. So I guess that makes him a hypocrite. I can't believe I have to share a blog with a hypocrite."

The way I see it, if it was not for me you would not be on a blog in the first place. And what little things do I let bother me?

"Thanks for asking, because today's NFF is directed at you."

Here we go.

"It's safe to say that everyone has one little thing about the opposite sex that just does not sit well with them. For example, I can't stand going shopping with women. I don't know what it is, I just can't stand it. Women are marathon shoppers, and can bounce from store to store all day with no rest. After about 20 minutes I get sick of standing."

"Stew on the other hand takes this same concept to a different level. There is one thing that he can not deal with no matter how hard he tries. The sad part is that it is not something that women do exclusively... EVERYONE does it. What's worse is that he did not know that women did this until he was like 9."

Now why would you go and tell these people this? I doubt that they would even want to know this.

"You hush. Now you all may be wondering what it is that the 'genius' was oblivious of until he was damn near a teenager."

"Going number 2"

"Weird right? Stew does not like the notion of women doing this. He doesn't want to hear about it, smell it, think about it, hell he barely accepts the fact that women sit on the toilet to do more than pee."

Thanks a lot Douglass. Now our readers are going to think that I am some kind of weirdo.

"Chances are, they already have that idea in their heads."

"So from me to you Stew, I would like to say, women taking a dump is not fatal, there for it's no big deal."

±DoUgLaSs±

Anything Wrapped in Bacon is Good!!!

2008-06-25T20:10:00.006-04:00

Before yesterday I had not really eaten anything for 2 days. This is mainly because I had been waiting to cook something. Not just anything either. This is a dish that eluded me the first time I attempted it.

"So you mean to tell me that FOOD slipped away from you? Yep, you're starting to lose it."

No smart-ass. I am saying that the first time I tried to cook it, it did not turn out the way I wanted it to. It turned into...well I do no know how to describe it, but let's just say that it was the exact opposite of what I was going for.

"Do you expect anyone to feel bad for you since you can't cook? I don't. I told you that we should just order out ever night, then we would not have to deal with stuff like this."

I assume you are wondering what it is that I am attempting to make. It's a little thing that I like to call BACON SURPRISE.

"What's that? It's not like what Grandpa made on that episode of The Boondocks is it? You remember that episode, The Itis?"

No Douglass, it is nothing like that. It is just shrimp wrapped in bacon. The first time I tried to make it, I cut the bacon too small, and the bacon was too think to wrap. So I just threw it in a pan an cooked it together. It was SOOOOOO good. But alas!!!!! Last night I was able to pull it off, and it turned out FANTASTIC. See for yourself.

Yeah I know, I know, it looks good right. This was when it was about half way finished.

This is the final product. I should win an award for this.

I think I will have one now.

Maybe one more

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-06-22T02:16:00.004-04:00

"I am so sick of Stew coming in here and complaining about this. This can not wait until Friday."

What are you doing? I was going to post about this tomorrow. Seems to me like you are trying to steal my ideas.

"I think this is much better suited for a Not Fatal Friday segment."

Can not argue with that.

"So if you would excuse me I would like to start my segment now."

Be my guest.

"Sometimes Stew and I go out and we encounter a reoccurring problem. The strange thing is that we did not come across this problem much in undergrad, just from certain females. Whenever we go out to the club neither one of us likes to be wall flowers. We love to get out there and dance. There have been some nights where we dance from the moment we get in line to get into the club to when we lay down to get some much needed sleep. The difference is that we were at A&T. As all of you may or may not know, A&T is a school in the south."

I will ask the question that others want to. What does the fact that A&T is in the south have to do with anything?

"As everyone knows, there is a big difference between northern and southern people. I am only interested in the difference between northern and southern females. The focus is on one particular issue that I can't understand."

"Why is it that a dance means so much to northern girls? In the north it seems like dancing is look at more like a courtship than a dance. Growing up, and in college, when I danced with someone, it was just that...a dance and nothing more. I have pulled really wild stunts on the dance floor, but once the dance is finished then there is nothing more to it. I just can not understand why northern females can not look at it the same way. It boggles my mind. It's almost like dancing is equivalent to sex, if you dance with one girl then you had better not try and dance with her friend. They will throw a hissyfit and look at you like you just killed a kitten with a newborn riding on its back. "

That is pretty frustrating. Almost makes you not want to dance at all.

"So this is my public service announcement to all the northern females who look at dancing like it is the first step towards marriage..."

"A guy dancing with you, your friend, or anyone is not fatal, therefore it's no big deal."

±DoUgLaSs±

HELP!!!

2008-06-21T12:38:00.004-04:00

We are having writer's block. We have ideas, but they are not manifesting. Hopefully whatever is stopping us from writing will go away soon.

~sTeW~

Blackout - DMX

2008-06-10T15:49:00.007-04:00

I got tagged by Niki

I am tagging

Dajanae
Ms. Puddin
Swag Ambassador

MEME Rules:
1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?”, YOU SAY?
What's My Name? - DMX
(Ha!)

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
We Don't Give a Fuck - DMX
(This is starting to get weird already. This is really how I feel about most things.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Lolipop (Remix) feat. Gorilla Zoe - Lil Wayne
(Guess this makes sense a little. I actually liked Zoe in this though, his album is hot too.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Paris, Tokyo - Lupe Fiasco
(I do feel like getting away.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Ridin' Through Atlanta feat. T.I. - Youngbloodz
(ATL here I Come!!!)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Moving Mountains - Usher
(I disagree)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
The Omen - DMX
(Damn right. But is it a good omen or a bad omen? Only time will tell.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Ain't No Way - DMX

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
I Tried feat. Akon - Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony

WHAT IS 2+2?
Real Motherfucker feat. Boyz N Da Hood - Gorilla Zoe

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Pistol Pistol Remix - Obie Trice
(Yep. They got my back. They don't have guns, but they would shoot if they had to.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Falsifying - Paul Wall & Chamillionaire

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Amityville - Eminem

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Play Dirty feat 50/50Twin - Paul Wall & Chamillionaire
(If this is what I have to do to get ahead then I will.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hip-Hop Saved My Life feat Nikki Jean - Lupe Fiasco
(Wonder how true this is?)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Tylenol Island - Eminem
(This song is pretty funny, and my parents laugh at me all the time.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Before I Met You - Usher
(Guess this makes sense.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
My Life - Da Band

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Straight Outta Houston - Magno

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
So Good So Right - Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Never Forget Me feat. Akon - Bone-Thugs-N-Harmony
(I will never forget my friends.)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Blackout - DMX

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-06-07T10:18:00.006-04:00

"I don't know why he has me do a segment that's meant for 'Friday' on Saturday morning. It makes no sense to me. I have to get away from this guy. He's only holding me back."

Get away from me? Where are you going to go?

"That's none of your business. Now keep quiet so that I can start this thing."

...

"What's happening folks? It's time once again for... Not Fatal Fridays!!! Today's topic was given suggested by Stew's good friend Niki. I can come up with ideas myself, but Stew BEGGED me to use her topic. I guess I will save my brilliance for another time."

"Let's begin."

"Today's topic is 'Keeping up with the Jones'. At first I did not understand what this was, until Niki explained it to me. (I guess she is useful for something) For those of you who were like me and do not know, I will explain. There have been a few commercials that have documented this. Like that Mini Cooper commercial where the two neighbors are battling to see who can put the coolest stuff on his car. Or the Home Depot commercial that airs around Christmas time where the two neighbors are competing to see who can put up the best decorations. Keeping up with the Jones' is referring to neighbors competing over something extremely trivial like the best lawn, bigger fence, better garden....that kind of stuff."

It's hard to believe that people actually compete over these kinds of things. Jay-J has never battled with anyone over how the lawn looked, and I doubt that Madame B. has ever cared about who's drapes are nicer. Then again I am sure that they do not care enough to compete.

"Even though no one asked you to comment, I will address your comments. Not everyone has this competitive spirit, just really shallow people. I understand that competition is in man's nature, but if you want to be competitive then have a race around the block or play a game of checkers, but don't try to out do your neighbor's rose bushes. That is a waste of time."

I am going to play your role as devil's advocate. I would think that this competition would be good because they are only improving their land and bringing the value up.

"But how long does this stay a positive rivalry? How long until Joe starts to sabotage Sarah's flowers? How long until Pete lets his German Shepard pee on Billy's grass? These things will happen. Just as competition is a part of life, so is cheating."

"At the end of the day, people need to spend less time worrying about other people and more time worrying about themselves and what they have to do."

"So remember...What your neighbor does is not fatal, therefore it's no big deal"

±DoUgLaSs±

5 Things You Learn When...

2008-06-03T18:42:00.010-04:00

Recently I realized that I like when my posts have specific themes, or are part of an on going series of posts. Like my Would You Rather... series on single*bubble*pop or the Not Fatal Fridays series that I started here.

"HEY HEY HEY!!!! What makes you think that you started that? I thought we came to an agreement that that segment is MINE?!?!?!"

Oh yeah. Sorry. I meant to say the Not Fatal Fridays series that Douglass created.

"That's more like it. By the way, why is it there has only been one? I thought it was a weekly thing?"

You know I have had stuff going on. I told you to stop worrying me about that.

Anyhow...

This is a new series of posts that I will be periodically presenting you fine people with. If you have not figured out the name of the series (the title of this post) then I have no sympathy for you. (hmmmm...sound like a nice name for another series)

Let's begin.

Recently I went to Houston with my man Jesùs De Luca and he was gracious enough to fly me back. I have been flying alot lately, and I have had the pleasure of sitting next to many different people. Like EVERYONE else in the WORLD I can not stand when kids act up on airplanes. With that being said, this post is about:

5 Things You Learn When... you sit next to bad kids on airplanes.

You are not completely past doing something horrible to a child. You begin to think:
-Can this kid be safely stowed away under the seat or in the overhead compartments
-Will this kid fit in the seat back pocket? Maybe if I take out these magazines.
-Is it possible to toss this kid out of the emergency exit without the plane crashing?
-What sound does a falling toddler make?
You are not completle against abortion anymore? You begin to think:
-Just because you CAN have a baby does not mean you SHOULD have a baby.
-If that lady gets pregnant again I will PAY for the abortion.
Any kids you THOUGHT you wanted, you do not want them anymore. You begin to think:
-I wonder how much it cost to get my tubes tied?
-Forget tubes tied, I want them OUT!!!
Fellas
-What's the condom count looking like?
-I hope my girl don't EVER get pregnant.
The bathroom is not soundproof. You begin to think:
-Damn it smells in here.
You do not have telepathic powers. You begin to think:
-I wonder if I concentrate hard enough if I could make that mom/dad slap the hell out of that kid
-Nope.

Lucky for me, I have never had to sit directly next to a kid acting up. Actually, every kid I have been next to has been pretty well behaved.

Guess I have been lucky.

The kid too.

~sTeW~

Time to make the Jihad!

2008-05-31T02:45:00.002-04:00

What it is folks? I haven't blogged and contributed to discussion on here as much as I've wanted to, but I'm tryin...My boy Stew got faith in my blabberings so here ya go:

Dunkin Donuts recently pulled an ad with Rachel Ray in response to massive calls for boycott that have erupted recently after a blogger by the name of Michelle Malkin incited a flagrantly flawed fascist fuss of fashion over this:

For those of you that don't know where the offense is taken, take a wild guess...Go 'head, try...Can't think of anything? Well, it's the scarf...That's right, apparently wearing that scarf is Rachel Ray's way of saying, "I heart terrorists!"...The reasoning? Because Palestinians wear similar scarves called keffiyehs and, as we all know, all Palestinians are terrorists therefore making Mrs. Ray a terrorist-supporter for wearing said scarf...

Number 1, it's not even a keffiyeh...you can't see it from the picture, but if you look around for articles about it, it's been made known that the thing is a damn paisley print piece of fabric...Number 2, even if it was a keffiyeh, so the fuck what? "Terrorist" is not a nationality or ethnicity...By that same screwed up logic, "going green" is in support of all the homegrown terrorist and anarchist individuals/groups who are raging against the machine here in the States, what with all the capitalism and industrializations sapping the very life, balance, and purity from Gaia, Mother Earth, or whoever you want to call it...The thing is worn to endure the arid and sandy elements of the Mid-East; it's like a hat or a jacket or sunglasses...And Number 3, it's instances like these that show this country has yet learned its lesson in cultural relations...The vast and egregious blanket of slander thrown about like rice at a wedding is sad...It's fear that can easily be quelled with learning and understanding...Yes, the keffiyeh has grown to be a symbol of Palestine, of its culture, and of its people...But it is no more different than a dhoti in India or a kimono in Japan...

These are elements of a way of life...
...and though the interests of given region can be loosely associated with its own culture, that does not make it one and the same with the other elements by far...If I were to speak Arabic, would that make me also a terrorist-sympathizer? If it were Mandarin or Cantonese, would I then be a Communist? Perhaps speaking German would make me a Nazi?...No, the possibility that you cannot place an inherent face on hatred or the enemy is jarring and places many into a searching form of denial...People are so twisted up with fear that they need something to focus it upon in order to keep from bursting...Something so sure fire and equivalent to what it is that they are frightened of to begin with...Salem had the Witches, the 40s and 50s had Communists, and now we have the Terrorists...An accusation is as good as a conviction, and the irony of it all is that this is in the name of supposed Democracy and, better yet, the upper echelon of the American way...Fred the Baker is turning in his grave...

Hopefully SOMEONE out there missed me

2008-05-29T22:54:00.001-04:00

(I would like to send a R.I.P. to my man Don Mega. He has not passed, but he has stopped blogging. He will be sorely missed. Stay strong brother.)

*Whew*

Ok. I am back.

"What?!? Who's that? Oh, it's you. I been sleep all of this time, waiting for you to come back. Where have you been man? You told me you would be right back. I missed my segment last week. That's all kinds of messed up."

I told you that I had to run down to H-Town for a sec. My and my man Jesùs De Luca drove to Texas because he has some stuff to do.

"That is a long drive. Spending that much time with one person. I don't think I could handle that."

It was cool though. We stopped in Memphis on Friday night. We walked around on Beale street for a bit. Then chilled by the river. We slept in Arkansas, then made our way to the Bill Clinton Library in Little Rock. I wish we could have stayed there a little longer, but we had to get on the road. Clinton was an AWESOME president though. He did SO much for this country. For example, did you know that he brought the country out of debt, then took us to a surplus? That is some amazing stuff.

"All of the good stuff he did definitely overshadows the whole 'Monica' thing."

Oddly enough, there was no mention of the "Monica" thing anywhere in the place. Makes sense though. I did notice something funny though. There were 4 pictures up with Bill & Hillary posing in front of a HUGE Christmas tree. In 3 of them, they are hugging/embracing for the picture. But in 1999 they have a large gap between them.

"And so...."

That is when the "Monica" thing went down. Coincidence? I do not think so.

"Well that makes sense. He got busted for getting some 'Lewinsky', and she did not even want to touch him. Ha! He is still the man though."

Yes he is.

Anyhow, I am back, and I do not plan on going on any hiatuses anytime soon so you folks will be getting a healthy dose of US.

Are you ready?

~sTeW~

There's One in Every Group (High School Edition)

2008-05-21T14:37:00.001-04:00

In movies, books, television, and any other type of media that tells stories about a group of friends there are always people that fall into certain categories. Like there is always a smart character, foreign character, "dumb blond" character, etc...

Like most people, I have many acquaintances, homeboys, peoples, and every other word used to describe people that you know but you do not consider a friend. Before I went to college I had two best friends, Boozer & Dr. J. These were my boys. We were together all the time. So much so that when one was missing The first thing someone asks is "Where is ... (missing person)." Even though there were just three of us, we each had a role.

Dr. J : Jock/Lunatic

Me: Smart Guy

Boozer: Pretty Boy/Jock/New Crew Member

Me and Dr.J had been friends long before we met Boozer. We became a trio when Boozer moved into the house next to mine in high school. At first I could not stand the guy. Growing up I was not used to having kids in my neighborhood. I never had little Johnny come to my door and ask my mom "Can Stew come out to play?" So when Boozer would come by it would annoy the hell out of me. My first thought would be "What the hell does this guy want?" Turns out all he wanted to do was chill. Once we all made the JV squad my 10th grade year we became SUPER tight, and the rest is history.

"Well how did they get their respective titles? You just do not become "The Lunatic" for no reason."

Dr. J is really good at basketball. He is quite possibly one of the best PG to come out of Raleigh. The only thing that ever held him back was his height. Not his fault though. Outside of that he is a complete NUT JOB. I am reminded of this basketball tournament we went to in Charlotte when we were about 12 years old.

Timeline
8:00 am - Piece of ham is deposited on the ground in a parking lot from a McDonald's breakfast sandwich
5:00 or 6:00 pm - Return to the same parking lot to find the ham is still in the same spot
1 min later - There is a dare to eat the ham (Side note: A dare, not a bet so no money was exchanged)
5 sec later - Dr. J answers the call and eats the ham

There were MANY events like this. I will bet anyone that my friend is crazier than your friend. Granted, if your friend does crazy stuff and goes to jail for it, then you got me beat.

Boozer on the other hand was the exact opposite. He is smooth, calm, and LIGHT SKINNED. That is why he get the pretty boy label. I am not the one giving him the title. I can not tell you how many times we would be walking in the mall and some random girl calls me over to her and says something like this:

Girl: Hey what's up how are you doing?
Me: I'm straight. What's up with you?
Girl: Well me and my friends were wondering, what's up with your friend?
Me: Which one?
Girl: The light skinned on.

This never really bothered me because I knew that if we all got together then Dr. J & I were guaranteed one of the friends. Even though the friends were probably interested in Boozer the whole time. I just wondered why they didn't just skip the middle man (Me) and just talk to him their damn selves.

Boozer was a two sport guy so he automatically got the title of Jock. He also played football. Personally I always thought he was better at football. (Now that I think about it, I think he knew that too) I think the ladies loved him because he was like a big teddy bear because of his LB frame.

The whole purpose of this is to have you think about your high school days and try to remember who was in your crew. What labels did you all have? What was your label?

I think it would be cool if you turned it into a post on your own blog (if you have not done something like this already). If you do then let me know with a comment that you did, or you plan to. If you choose not to, still throw a comment up and tell me what your title was.

It's always fun to reminisce.

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

2008-05-17T12:32:00.001-04:00

Welcome everyone to Not Fatal Fridays!!!

"Wait!!! Are you stealing MY idea?"

What makes you think this is YOUR idea? If I recall correctly, WE were having a conversation and you just so happened to mention that we have not posted anything that matches the overall theme of our blog.

"Exactly. I am the one who mentioned it, therefore I should be the one to host it. Is it too much to ask that I have a topic once a week? For the rest of the time you can continue to keep me locked away.

I have no issue with that. All I ask is for you to not say anything crazy. Remember, this is for the world to see. You put anything too outlandish out there then I get the heat, not you.

"Understood. Let's get started."

"I have been waiting for this. I want to talk about Facebook (and every other social networking website) and the IDIOTS that treat it like gold. I have no issue with Facebook or Myspace or anything else, hell Stew's on Facebook. My only issue is with the dummies that take what is on FB/MS (Facebook/MySpace) as a 100% true to life autobiography. It kills me when I hear some craziness like this:"

Person 1 "Did you hear that Jack and Jill have broken up?"
Person 2 "No, that can not be true. I just saw them together."
Person 1 "That's not what it says on FB."

or some other nonsense like:

Person 1 "So do you know what he/she looks like?"
Person 2 "Yeah man, he/she got these pictures up on MS. He/she is fine as hell."

"I don't understand why EVERYONE hasn't realized that the internet is easiest place to fabricate a personality. As far as you guys know Stew REALLY has Dissociative Identity Disorder and I am one of his personalities. One of his MANY personalities."

First off, try not to call people names. Calling them "idiots" and "dummies" is not going to help anything. Next, I am not going to lie, it is hard sometimes not to trust what you see on some of these sites because the first question you have to ask yourself is 'Why would they lie about something like that?'

"There is no answer to that question. People are stupid."

"Sorry ladies, but I have to rip on you for a moment. I don't understand why females get PISSED by the amount of information a guy decides to disclose. I'm sorry ladies but you gals are guaranteed to be upset if a guy would rather not display his "relationship status" on FB. Too many time have I heard this conversation:"

Person 1: "Man my girl is mad at me right now."
Person 2: "Why? You have a fight or something?"
Person 1: "Yeah man. Over something stupid too."
Person 2: "If it is worth fighting over, it can not be that stupid."
Person 1: "She mad because I did not change my status on FB."

"If you ask me, the only people that NEED to know that a relationship exists are the people in the relationship. When you start to involve other people then that is when everything gets complicated. People start talking and lies get created. Then the relationship that could have gotten somewhere gets all messed up because you have added 'people' in the equation."

I was hoping that you would say something wrong and I could call you out on it Douglass, but I do not disagree with anything you have said. I agree that people take what is on the internet too seriously. I wanted to test this theory out, so a few years ago my and my best friend whom I will call Dr. J, decided to display that we were in a relationship. Sure enough I started getting messages like:

Stew are you serious?

and

How long have you two been together?

or

Stew you need to get some Jesus in your life.

I know they were serious because when I told them it was supposed to be funny they all said, 'Oh'. Point Proven.

"So remember: FB/MS/everything else is not fatal, therefore it's no big deal"

±DoUgLaSs±

Masquerade

2008-05-16T10:12:00.000-04:00

Too often do we find that others, and we ourselves, would rather put forth more effort to continuously run away from our problems, fears, and issues than to stand and face them for once and for all...We become voluntary slaves to our weaknesses...Remember, the farther we run from our problems, the more "distance" and time it will take to get back and merely face it...Fight or flight: you'd think we'd realize by now that it's much harder to get airborne than to stand in the midst of gravity...

What lies behind that mask?
A wound too harsh?
A scratch too deep?
A bruise too tender to be touched?
You've built a fortress within this guise
And have yet to come out from behind it.
For what purpose was this edifice, this facade, constructed?
To deter a vagabond
Or to jail the princess?
Your band-aid smile peels at the edges —
A sign it's been worn too long —
And yet you dawn it still...
Afraid of the pull and afraid of the tug,
Only fleeting is the relief that hiding has come to give you.
Hidden from view, the pain remains in tact.
I will kiss your bruises...
I will lick your wounds...
And I will soothe each scratch upon thy flesh...
But, first. you must allow me to do so.
Show me your injuries,
And I will teach you the beauty of your scars.
Bring me your sorrows,
And I will show you the strength within your tears.
Permit me, and I will render your confines asunder upon the ground.