This is how I feel about myself sometimes.
I have been loaded with an exceptional amount of book smarts, but my common sense has been severely cut short. I wish I could learn common sense the same way I learn things out of a book. This would have helped me immensely when I was younger. All of my friends knew me as the "nerd", and they knew that if they were confused about anything that required real intelligence they could ask me. On the other hand, anything common sense based I was completely lost.
"You are lost about EVERYTHING anyway. Sometimes I am embarrassed to be associated with you because of your absent mindedness. If you were more like me then you would not have these problems."
I am sure that everyone wants to be like Douglass.
"You damn right they do. That's the smartest thing you have ever said to me."
I wish I could say that you have said something smart to me.
For example, I remember watching the intro to The Fresh Prince, and for the longest I was so confused about how they were able to make him go upside down with out him falling out of the chair. This question haunted me until about a year ago when someone told me that he is laying on his back and the camera is above him. I was so relieved to have finally discovered the solution, but the person who told me could not believe that I did not know. There have been many examples like this in my lifetime, it is like I am finding out all of the world's secrets a decade later than everyone else.
"Why don't you just admit that you are an idiot? Once you do that then you will be able to move forward, and I am pretty sure that you will feel better about yourself."
Things were so much quieter when you were not here.
"Well I'm back now. Deal with it."
Hopefully one day I will find a way to develop common sense, but until then I will have to settle for looking stupid because I do not know where rain comes from.