Happy Holidays

First off I would like to welcome Niki back to the states.  After a 6 month absence I am happy to have her back on this side of the world.

Next on the agenda, I would like to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  And what ever other holidays you are celebrating out there.  I hope everyone stays safe and thoroughly enjoys themselves.

Also, I am making progress on my mixtape.  As of right now I have two more tracks in the making, Go Soft & Azma Attack.  I need a female voice for Azma Attack, and I must say that it has been pretty hard to come by.  Since I have been home I have let a few people listen to what I have so far, and just about everyone has liked it.  They have been laughing a lot and that is all that I ask for.  Most surprising to me is how much my dad is into it.  He walks around the house singing my songs.  It is a little weird.  I got an offer from Niki to debut some of the music on her blog, but I have not made up my mind.  If I do I will definitely let you all know.

Lastly, Douglass is back, and he will be making his return pretty soon.  I have no clue what he will have to say, so just brace yourself.

Again, Happy Holidays. 

Stay Safe

~sTeW~

It's Official...

Have you ever sat around and talked about doing something for months and months.  Maybe something like:

'I'm going to start reading more.'

or

'I'm going to to start exercising again.'

perhaps 

'I'm going to stop picking my nose.'

Sadly enough, even when you said these things to yourself, you knew in the back of your head that you would continue to procrastinate.  Well unlike all of you lazy people out there I got up off of my butt and did started on the task that I have challenged myself with.

I have officially.......

STARTED ON MY MIXTAPE. (cue superhero music)

So far I have 6 songs finished, and I must say that I really enjoy rapping.  Now do not get me wrong, I am not SERIOUSLY pursuing a rap career, I am recording the music on my laptop.  I just enjoy making music.  The whole purpose was to make a mixtape and send it to my brother, because I knew he would get a good laugh out of it.  So far, so good.  But if you ask me, I am actually putting together some pretty good songs, given what I have to work with.

I started out by recording in my living room, turns out that the sound travel does not get picked up well in there (too much open space), then I moved into my bathroom (still too much echo), then I found the perfect spot to record my hot rhymes...a closet.  There is not any echo, and it is completely silent.  I could not have asked for a better place (except for an actual studio that is).

So far my tracklist is as follows, but in no particular order

1. Crazy Ass Dreams

2. Here For You

3. Cake Walk

4. One Word

5. Learn How to Count

6. Cleaned Up My Room

I can not express to you folks how much fun I have been having these past few days.  The only really weird thing is that my mom is making me create clean versions of all of the song.  I must say that replacing "dirty" words with "clean" words leaves you with a strange taste in your mouth.  A little like when you brush you tongue too far in the back and you throw up a little.  That is how it taste to replace "damn" with "darn".

My whole point in tell you this is so that you can get up off of your ass and do whatever it is that you have been meaning to do.  Because if I can start recording my mixtape then you can pull that finger out of your nose.

It is going to start bleeding eventually.

~sTeW~

That Just Ain't Fair

I like Tom Cruise.  

Not because I think he is a good actor, I am not sure that I know what constitutes good a bad actor, but because he is a very physical actor and he makes good action movies.  The Mission Impossibles are an awesome set of movies.  He and Will Smith are guaranteed to run in EVERY movie they are in.  I was not expecting to see Will running in Pursuit of Happyness, but dammit if he did not find a scene to explode into an emotion filled gallop.  Hell, one of the main shots for the 7 Pounds trailer is him running in the rain.

But I digress...

In 2002 Minority Report was released, and Tom Cruise was the star.  Yet again, Tom used his athleticism to make an action packed movie.  But it is not the action of the movie that caught my attention, it was the premise.

Imagine living in a world where you could get in trouble for the things that you were going to to do, and not for the things that you have done.  In the movie, this idea only applies to murders, but what if these rules were applied to EVERYTHING bad you did.  What if the cops knew you were going to rob a bank before you did?  What if your significant other knew you were going to cheat before you actually did it?  What if your teacher knew you were going to plagiarize before you did it?

In my personal opinion I do not think it is very fair for someone to get into trouble for what they were thinking about doing.  Just because the thought of chopping your boss' head off crossed your mind does not mean you were actually going to go through with it.  Personally I think this is unfair to people who frequently have morbid thought, but never go through with them.

Here's something else to think about....

What if this were a service that could be bought?  How bad would that suck?  You girl/boyfriend could know in advance when you were going to break up with them, so they would do it before you had a chance to.  Your friend knew you were going to eat the last slice of pizza so he beat you to it.  That unattractive chick/dude at the club knew the only way you would sleep with him/her is if you were drunk so they bought you a bunch of drinks, and now you are waking up with a hangover trying to figure out why you are naked laying next to a Freddy Kruger look alike.

As you can see, there are many things that could go wrong if we develop the ability to see into the future.

Not only could you end up fire from your job or in jail...you could end up on the bad end of someone's diabolical plot to get in your pants.

~sTeW~

Bet You Never Though About That

First off I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday.  Hopefully none of you all got into any REAL trouble out there shopping on Black Friday.  I know a couple of people who came close to catching assault charges messing with those crowds.

For those of you who enjoy Douglass' pseudo-intelligent humor, I am sorry to say that he is still on fall break, and he will not be back until next week.  He sends his regards. 

Wait....I'm getting a text from him right now.  It says:

"F**k you Stew."

How nice of him.

Anyhow...

I had a conversation today with a some people and we were goofing off as usual, and some how we got on the topic of Santa Clause.  I asked them:

If Santa was real, would you write to him?

To which everyone responded:

"Hell yeah, sometimes twice a day."

So then I asked:

What type of cell phone do you think Santa would have?

No one responded, so I said:

I think Santa would have a Blackberry.

To me this makes perfect sense.  Even though I have never really sat down and used a Blackberry, from what I understand it is very good at letting you read your email and organize massive amounts of information.  I think this would suit Santa very well.  He has to have a way to organize his naughty and nice lists.  He has to have a way to read all of the letters that people would send him.  To me a Blackberry seems like a perfect fit for Santa

Next I asked:

What type of cell phone would Jesus have?

IPHONE!!!

My main argument for Jesus having an iPhone is that Jesus seems to be a flashy guy.  Right now in the cell phone game there is nothing more flashy than the iPhone.  Even though the number of people that have an iPhone is growing exponentially, Jesus would still have the most tricked out iPhone with some one-of-a-kind applications.  For example he would have and application that answers prayers, or performs miracles from half way around the world.  He would not even have to get up to do his thing.

With all of this talk about all powerful beings having cell phone, it got me thinking about real people and what kind of cell phone they would have had.

You folks tell me. 

What type of phone would these people have?

MLK

Ghandi

Hitler

Malcolm X

Harriet Tubman

Moses

Bruce Lee

Abraham Lincoln

Napoleon

Black Beard (Don't know who this is??? Look it up)

I bet you never thought about that.

~sTeW~