I'm More Than A Little Weird

The best thing about having a laptop is that I can post from anywhere.  For example, right now I am writing from the comfort of my toilet, and it IS mighty comfortable.

"This blog has hit a new low."

Green is not a color that suits you Douglass.

"So you work for the Style Network now?"

Say what?

"You are talking about colors not suiting me.  I figured that you have given up your day job and went into fashion."

I always knew you were stupid.

Anyhow....

One aspect about my personality that most people do not know about is my overactive imagination.  I rarely tell anyone about the crazy stuff that I cook up in my mind.  I have so much fun with it.  I absolutely enjoy living inside of my head.  

Here's an example of what I did yesterday.

It is entirely possible to walk EVERYWHERE in this little town that I am in.  Needless to say, walking is boring, unless you turn it into a game.  So I find a person that is far ahead of me and try to catch up to them.  To me, this is fun by itself, but I treat it like race with color commentators and everything.  The commentators names are Jim & Tom.  This is an excerpt from one of their last broadcasts:

Jim:  Well Tom it does not look like Stew will be able to catch guy in the red hat this time.

Tom: I would not count Stew out just yet.  As we have seen in the past, he has great closing speed and excellent stamina.

Jim: WAIT!!! It's looking like Stew is starting his world famous surge.  We have never seen anyone pull away from him when he kicks it into high gear.

Tom: Guy in the red hat has no clue that Stew is coming up on him.  He is powerless to stop him.

Jim: I spoke with Stew before the race, and he said that he really enjoys what he does and trains extremely hard for each and every event.

Tom: Stew is just a class act, right Jim?

Jim: I remember back in 98 after his huge comeback win over chick with really short shorts he stay behind and signed autographs for 6 hours.  He kept a smile on his face the entire time.

My walk is about 20 minutes so this goes on for quite a while.  Time flies by when I do silly stuff like this.  It makes the walk so much more entertaining.  Needless to say that sometimes I am sweating like a fat man in a sauna, but it is worth it in the end.

"MY GOD YOU ARE LAME."

Yes I know, but I have fun.

To me that is all that counts.

~sTeW~

No Matter What I Do...

It is very hard to be me sometimes.  Very few people in this world have the same experience that I have.

"I have said it before and I will say it again.  You are not as great as you think you are."

Of course you would say that.  Your entire reason for existence is to be a thorn in my side, and I thank you for that.

"That makes no sense."

With you being as negative and condecending as you are, it makes me feel SO good when I do something amazing.

"Safe to assume you are going to b

ore us with some pathetic story about something that you think you did well."

You know me so well.  You would not be a good alter ego if you d

id not.

I realized years ago that no matter what I do I am really good at it.  Most times I am good at it without trying to be.  For example, this past weekend my class went on a field trip to Green Lake in Fayetteville, New York.

"TIMEOUT.  Field trip?  I thought you were in grad school, why are you taking field trips?"

*Ignorance tuned out*

While we were on the field trip I took the opportunity to try my hand at nature photography.  Instead of me telling you how great the pictures were, I will just show you.

Then we went to this waterfall.

This last one is just me showing off.

Damn it is tough to be me.

~sTeW~

I Got A Question

I really hate it when I have a billion things that I could write about, but I am just to lazy to start typing.

"Seems as if you are too lazy to do a bunch of stuff lately."

Do you care to elaborate?

"I woke up last night and the bed was wet."

When did you wake up?!?!?! And what did you do?!?!?!?

"Not only is what I did none of your business, it is irrelevant.  I am trying to figure out why I had to change the sheets last night."

Look man, after I fall asleep and you decide to take over, I can not be held accountable for anything that happens.

"Wait, so we weren't at a pool?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

"Go to hell Stew."

No can do.  There is too much fun to be had, plus I have a question to ask the people.

A few years back I learned the answer to a popular tongue twister.  Since then, when ever I asked someone if they knew the answer to the tongue twister they did not know.  Like most people, I did not know that there was an answer to the question, so I was excited when I learned the answer.

The question is:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I am curious to know how many of you know the answer to this.  DON'T CHEAT EITHER!!!

We are watching you.

~sTeW~

5 Things You Learn When...

I must admit, this is one of my favorite segments to write.  The bad thing is that it is not always easy coming up with a situation that you can learn 5 things from.

"How about '5 Things you learn when  you read my boring ass posts' or maybe '5 Things you learn when you finally bow down to King Douglass'?  I really like the second one."

Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?

"Survey says......No!!!"

Did not think so.

Douglass' excessive talking has given me a good idea for this installment.  So I will jump right into it.

5 Things you learn when you have an out of control alter ego.

1. The thoughts that you are having are not your own.  You begin to think:

-Why do I have a sudden urge to slap that person?

-Why am I craving a Newports?

-Where is this passion for goth chicks coming from?

2. You can end up in places without knowing how you got there.  You begin to think:

-I know I fell asleep in my bed last night.  So why am I in this dumpster?

-Why am I in this bed with a guy....naked?

-What did I do to get put in this jail cell?

3. You can sometimes assume the persona of your alter ego.  Alter ego begins to think:

-It's my turn to have some fun.

-Show me the goth chicks.

-If I get drunk enough, I just might kill someone.

4. People start to think that you have lost your marbles.  They begin to think:

-Whenever I see him/her he/she is always talking to himself/herself.

-He/She always looks tired.  It's like he/she is living two lives.

-One day he/she likes *insert type of person*,  but other days he/she is into goth chicks.

5. YOU start to think that you have lost your marbles.  You begin to think:

-Why did that person just look me and call me a different name?

-I do not remember spending $200 at Hot Topic.

-Is it possible to develop a drug addiction overnight?

Maybe Douglass is out of control, maybe not.  Maybe these 5 things apply to me, maybe not.  Maybe I am feeling goth chicks, maybe not. 

"You do like goth chicks, rocker chicks too.  Do not act like I'm the only one with this fetish.  Hell, you are the reason why I even pay them any mind to begin with."

All I am saying is that these are some situations to look out for if you have an alter ego.

Especially one that does not have your best interest in mind.

~sTeW~ 

(for those who do not know, the top picture is from a movie called Mr. Brooks.  if you are still lost then watch the movie and read this post again)

I Got A Question

I know, I know. I have been slacking off.  I could not even last two week with this whole posting everyday thing

"This is why you should just give up at life.  You are a failure.  You should just let me take over, I promise your life will get back on track."

Do you remember what happened last time you took over?

"Of course I do, but I think it would be better if you told the people."

It would be better if I told them, because you can not remember.  It is hard to remember details when you are passed out drunk on a sidewalk at Virginia Beach.

"That was a good night.  Filled with free drinks and good times."

Yeah, good times for you.  I was the one that had to deal with the hangover the next day.  All you did was sleep.  All that to say, you come out to play when I let you.

"You suck!!!"

So I have decided, in lieu of struggling to come up with  something to post I am going to pose a question.  You do not have to answer it if you do not want to, but these questions will always be concepts that I have always found interesting.  Also, I know the answer to the questions, so you will not be able to pass with some nonsense if you do decided to answer the question.

"This is a stupid idea.  I bet no one will even respond."

I have faith in my readers, someone will respond.  Also, if they do not respond, I am sure the question will give them something to think about, and they will want to know the answer.

Today's question is....

What is the difference be accuracy and precision?  

Follow up...

Is it better to be accurate or precise?

Have fun

~sTeW~

Stew is Awesome!!!

"So explain to me why you would name this post that?"

We already talked about this.  You remember we decided that today's post is going to be about self confidence and ways that people show it.  How can you forget a conversation we had earlier today?

"How can you forget that I don't listen to half the crap that comes out of your mouth?"

And you wonder why no one ever takes you seriously.  You are a part of me and I do not even take you seriously.  Do you know how it feels not to take YOURSELF seriously?

"Obviously I do."

Oh......well I guess that makes sense.

Moving on.

Happy Tuesday readers.  How are you liking this 'post everyday' thing that I have going on?  It is not as hard as I thought it would be.  I like feedback, so let me know if I am keeping up with the quality of the posts.

So as you probably already know, today's post is about self confidence and the different ways that people display that confidence.  Some people insult others and talk down to people they feel are inferior.  Others just share their knowledge in a respectful way.  Some people ignore those who they feel are not on their 'level'.  Others acknowledge everyone because they know they have nothing to prove.  My mom tells me that I have this cockiness about me when I get to explaining something that I think that someone else does not know.  I think that she is over exaggerating, but she is never wrong.

One thing that I do on purpose is talk in the 3rd person.  Everyone tells me about how annoying it is, but I think it is funny.  

"I think it is pretty lame."

Not too much more lame than having people put 'King' in front of your name.

"Hey, people are just going to have to respect the fact that I am King Douglass."

Anyway....

Stew is a pretty cool guy. 

I guess he just wants the WORLD to know it too.

~sTeW~ 

Is it real?

How many of you believe in something that has no explanation?  Outside of religion, how many of you believe in ghosts, aliens, and stuff like that?  No just physical stuff, but just certain beliefs about a given situation.

"I think the word you are looking for is superstition genius."

Thanks Douglass, that's a good place to st...

"That's King Douglass to you peasant."

Riiiiiiiiight.

Seriously, how many of you are superstitious? Show of hands.  

What if when you did step on a crack you got a call from the hospital saying that your mother had suffered a broken back.  Would you believe it then, or would it just be a terrible coincidence?  What if when you broke a mirror your life was hell for 7 years, but after that 7 years you hit the lottery?  I bet you would steer clear of mirrors for the rest of your life.  What if knocking on wood really kept you from jinxing yourself?  People would start walking around with wooden slabs in they pockets/purses/backpacks.

"So all of a sudden you are superstitious?  I thought you did not believe in stuff like that.  As I recall, you have been calling it 'stupidsticious' since you were a child.'

No, I am not very superstitious at all, but there is one unexplained phenomenon that I think the WORLD agrees exists......

KARMA

I am going to warn everyone right now.  If I EVER fall completely off of the grid, it will be because karma is coming for me, or it has already taken me out.  I have a very compelling argument against karma and why I think the concept is complete nonsense, but I can also argue for the existence of karma.  I will just give the main points for and against karma.

Against: All karma does if play off of the fact that good and bad things happen to everyone in the world.  The only reason the idea of karma exists is because people want to wish bad things on bad people without feeling like a bad person.  This way their karma would not go into the negative.

For:  The world needs balance.  If someone does something bad then that person should have something bad happen to them.  (For the fans of Full Metal Alchemist, think equivalent exchange)  The argument for karma is just that simple.

"Ok... so all of that to say... what?"

If karma exists then it is going to come a me with a vengeance.  So far in my life I have not had a lot of hardship, but I have hurt plenty of feelings and pisses bunches of people off.  Recently, I have hurt enough feelings to last a few years.  During this latest session of hurt feelings, I have been hurt as well, but it just does not balance out.

Karma, if you are out there,  I am waiting for you.  I must warn you that I am a fighter, and I will stand strong until one of us come out the victor.

~sTeW~