5 Things You Learn When...

I must admit, this is one of my favorite segments to write.  The bad thing is that it is not always easy coming up with a situation that you can learn 5 things from.

"How about '5 Things you learn when  you read my boring ass posts' or maybe '5 Things you learn when you finally bow down to King Douglass'?  I really like the second one."

Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?

"Survey says......No!!!"

Did not think so.

Douglass' excessive talking has given me a good idea for this installment.  So I will jump right into it.

5 Things you learn when you have an out of control alter ego.

1. The thoughts that you are having are not your own.  You begin to think:
-Why do I have a sudden urge to slap that person?
-Why am I craving a Newports?
-Where is this passion for goth chicks coming from?

2. You can end up in places without knowing how you got there.  You begin to think:
-I know I fell asleep in my bed last night.  So why am I in this dumpster?
-Why am I in this bed with a guy....naked?
-What did I do to get put in this jail cell?

3. You can sometimes assume the persona of your alter ego.  Alter ego begins to think:
-It's my turn to have some fun.
-Show me the goth chicks.
-If I get drunk enough, I just might kill someone.

4. People start to think that you have lost your marbles.  They begin to think:
-Whenever I see him/her he/she is always talking to himself/herself.
-He/She always looks tired.  It's like he/she is living two lives.
-One day he/she likes *insert type of person*,  but other days he/she is into goth chicks.

5. YOU start to think that you have lost your marbles.  You begin to think:
-Why did that person just look me and call me a different name?
-I do not remember spending $200 at Hot Topic.
-Is it possible to develop a drug addiction overnight?

Maybe Douglass is out of control, maybe not.  Maybe these 5 things apply to me, maybe not.  Maybe I am feeling goth chicks, maybe not. 

"You do like goth chicks, rocker chicks too.  Do not act like I'm the only one with this fetish.  Hell, you are the reason why I even pay them any mind to begin with."

All I am saying is that these are some situations to look out for if you have an alter ego.

Especially one that does not have your best interest in mind.


(for those who do not know, the top picture is from a movie called Mr. Brooks.  if you are still lost then watch the movie and read this post again)


karrie b. said...

stew, this post was great. i have almost too many alter eogs, so i can relate.

ok ok so you have 2 vices...goth chics and conspiracy theories?

am i warm?


Anonymous said...

LMBO @ "I know I fell asleep in my bed last night. So why am I in this dumpster?"

1/3 said...

wow at this post!! yea I think we all have alter egos..maybe not as out of control as Douglass but we def all have different personas.

I think I'll have to look at that movie if its anything like this post lol

12kyle said...

One of my boys LOVES goth chicks! He keeps tellin me how fine they are

1980 said...

goth chicks and newports! LOL

Phree Christasha said...

LOL@ having to wonder what you did to get put in jail.
I think the key is to allow your alter ego certain times when they are allowed to take control and closely monitoring them.
It seems to have worked for me and "Holly".
Then again, I do seem to have soooo many more tattoos than I remember, but I guess it could be worse?

Don said...

makes hella sense. i think every1 has alter ego's for whatever reasons. i don't know if mines arrive at the point where i talk behind the other one's back though, although that is funny.

-Whenever I see him/her he/she is always talking to himself/herself.


Stew said...

@karrie - i dont look at these things as vices. i can do no wrong

@bap - it happens sometimes

@1/3 - be sure to check that movie out. its SO good.

@kyle - your son has good taste

@1980 - two pleasures in life

@phree - holly sounds like a hell cat. getting tats behind ur back is awesome.

@don - douglass and i are on an entirely different level. its scary