Not Fatal Fridays!!!

"Hello everyone. I know it has been a while since I have done one of my segments. I have been helping Stew with this paper that he has been working on. He can't seem to do anything without my help."

You have not helped me once. Every time I start to work on the paper you go to sleep. Yesterday I asked you to proof read it for me and you just turned over and continued to snore.

"Well you should have asked me earlier in the day."


"Like I said, you should have asked me earlier in the day."

Whatever man.

"During the little time that I do have to use the computer, I like to read tech websites, download music and other applications that our computer may need, and every now and again I read blogs. I asked Stew to suggest some good blogs for me to read and in this list of awesome blogs I came across Eb the Celeb's blog. To make a long story short, it seems she is scared to ask some guy out on a date. I also read Dejanae's blog and it seems as if she is having trouble asking a guy to dance with her in the club. It seems to me like these two ladies, and 90% of ladies all over the globe, are struggling with a disease I like to call Firstmoveitis. This is the topic of todays discussion."

"Since the beginning of the INDEPENDENT WOMAN MOVEMENT women have made great progress in the world. We are beginning to see more females in high position and getting better jobs. Though the pay is not equal yet, everyone can agree that women are making GREAT progress in this world. Every woman will tell you 'I can do the same things that a man can do'. If that is true what is stopping women from going up to a guy every now and again and asking him for his number? I bet if women began approaching us they will gain a new appreciation for the courage it takes to walk up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. Or how tough it is to approach a guy in the club and ask if he would like to dance. No one likes rejection, but guys have been dealing with it for CENTURIES. What's the point in standing around looking at a guy and talking to you friends about how fine he is if you are not going to do anything about it? I know that guys do it all the time, but most times when we do that, at least one guy out of the group will have the strength to walk over and say something do her."

I can honestly say that I do not disagree with you. I have been concerned about woman for a long time that are suffering from this disease. What are the symptoms?

"Symptom may include but are not limited to:"
  • Chronic 'Naw girl he gotta come talk to me'
  • Persistent staring and drooling
  • Difficulty speaking
  • Occasional 'He probably got a little dick anyway'
  • Fatigue resulting in 'He way over there'
  • Prolonged 'He could have came over here'
  • And a multitude of other symptoms/excuses
Are there any treatments?

"The treatment is simple. Take one cup of MAN THE HELL UP and call me in the morning."

"But do not think that I am just talking to the ladies here. This goes out to anyone who is making excuses for not going after a person that they are attracted to. So ladies do not think that I am singling you out.....even though I am."

"So remember, making the first move is not fatal, therefore it is no big deal"


Eb and Dejanae please do not take this as me trying to take a shot at you or anything like that. It is supposed to be funny, that's it. If you took it as such, disregard this message.


Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

thats not firstmoveitis thats just because they are old fashion.

I'm old fashioned. I don't ask a guy I like a damn thing unless I'm asking where he got his sneakers from or something.

I like to be chased. I don't enjoy being the chaser and although I havent read those particular posts in their blogs, maybe they liked to be chased too.

If a guy wants to pursue me, then he will make his first move while i just sit back and look pretty. Thats just how I think.

12kyle said...

good one!!

i think they are both confident women who are strong minded. i don't see a problem with them making the first move. in fact, i think a guy would appreciate it.

Anonymous said...

douglass always has a lot to say about women...i bet he gets more girls than you...lol

kayellejaye said...

LOL. Great advice.

I'm too shy to make the 1st move. I'd have to be liquored up to take that chance.

Stew said...

@taryn - my response to that. give the guy something to chase.

@kyle - you are right. they are both confident and strong minded. and i am glad you see where i am coming from

@melly - yeah he does. you have no idea.

@kayelle - if that is what you need to get the job done then so be it. just have fun with it

niki.mac said...

i've never had this problem!!

if I ever really liked a guy I always let him know... probably because I got rejected so much when I was younger, it didn't really phase me anymore!! lol

i think most girls take it personally if somebody isn't interested in them... but I realized early on, somebody not liking me doesn't have anything to do with who I am... it's just a matter of preference.

i think once a woman finds the balance between being forward and still respecting oneself... approaching a guy is never more a problem.

good observation tho stewie! :)

Eb the Celeb said...

hahahahah... not offended at all...

and symptom #1 actually had me cracking up

for real though... I just have to be in the mood to flirt... sometimes I just want to go out and chill with the girls... so I dont want to deal with all the extra ish it entails to go out and have a good time... and truth be told... you never know when you going to get a dude that doesn't mind you approaching them, or when that is a dude that is turned off by that and wants to chase.

If I am really interested I will find a way to get your attention... even if I dont have the notion to go over and say something... if you intrigue me that much... I will buy a drink and have a waitress take it over to you... then you have to come talk to me first... even if its just to say thank you...

so the underlying factor is... I really wasn't that intrigued by dude... but he was cute...

1/3 said...

I agree with taryn, maybe they are old fashioned. But I also agree with you..if the guy just aint gonna make that move then sometimes u have to go after them. Personally I'm still a punk so I suffer from said symptoms lol But I do tend to make alot of first moves after that inital hello lol

RunGirl. said...

I never make the first move. I won't even call first. I think the guy should always do taht. I know that I need to get over that... baby steps. But I keep meeting lame asses and old men, so I haven't been able o practice

RunGirl. said...

Oh and lol @ Take one cup of MAN THE HELL UP and call me in the morning."

I say that very thing about men. Damn.

ms.uncensored said...

Firstmoveitis.....lmaooo. when single. I don't necessarily make the first move (my mom says thats for tactless women. lol. whatever that means). i make it known that i'm interested though. its called flirting with the eyes hunny. ;)

karrie b. said...

hmph. it depends on the guy for me...believe it or not i get intimidated...

like this 1 guy that works in the hospital next door to me...UGHHH! we're always giving eachother IMMENSE amounts of face (for almost 3 years now) and just yesterday he introduced himself formally.

i totally wanna get to know him but what if he has a gf?
is married?
is a bad kisser?
has terrible credit?



Anonymous said...

BWahahhahahaha I HAD to die laughing at this shit, you guyses are a trip and then some... The QQ does NOT suffer from firstmoveitis... she is a heffa but that's an entirely unrelated matter

Stew said...

@niki - don't know why you got rejected when you were younger. i guess no one saw the beauty in you.

@eb - well that makes sense then. nobody goes after someone they are not interested in.

@1/3 - well good for you. its always good to show initiative

@rungirl - damn....and here i thought i was coming up with something new. too bad about meeting the lames asses. that sucks.

@ms.uncensored - i have been a victim of the hungry eyes so i know what you are talking about

@karrie - see...that's the stuff i am talking about. you are the perfect example of this disease

@Q - that's it, way to go after what you want

dejanae said...

ur stupid
i will ask folk to dance if i friggin want to
stalkerish dudes dont fit the bill

PrettyBlack said...

Well I asked my husband to marry me...so if that ain't making the first move I don't know what is! hahaha...I love it, it does give a certain kind of empowerment.

I just don't have that fear of rejection...what'd lil wayne say "damn I hate a shy chick." Ya'll better get yours before the bold bitch comes and snatches him.

Loved the post Stew.

Lina said...

Yea...ummm, haven't quite gotten over the rejection part. But I am working on it...kinda.

Douglas is hilarious.

MsPuddin said...

you know im not afraid to talk to a dude. but nine times out of ten after about five maybe ten minutes of conversation, im over it. i dunno maybe its me.

Don said...

Too funny @ firstmoveitis.

Very entertaining read, and definitely some truth to your words. I know a few woman who I'm shocked @ the fact that they don't have men. They appear somewhat intimidating I imagine.

Dana said...

LOL! I totally enjoyed this! It definitely rings true for many! I hope writing your paper went well!! =)

Stew said...

@dejanae - yeah you may want to stay away from them

@prettyblack - that must have been nerve racking for you...what if he said no???

@lina - with help, you will get there

@mspuddin - it seems like it would be hard to keep you attention

@don - that is probably the case. guy need to feel in control

@dana - yep went very well actually i can not complain.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Okay, this is simply the strangest posting I have ever read. Just so you know....