"I really do hate that Stew censors me most of the time. I feel like I have a lot of important things to say."
If everything you said did not have a sarcastic undertone to it then I would let you speak more. If it were up to you then you would have the world bow down to you and hail you as their king.
"You damn right. King Douglass.....or King Dougie??? I don't know which one sounds better. But that is the only time I will allow anyone to call me Dougie. You hear that ladies, you can call me Dougie as long as you put the 'King' in front of it."
Man get off of yourself. I bet you would get off on people kneeling when you walk into the room and little kids running up to you asking for you autograph.
"I would LOVE for people to bow when I walk into the room, and in unison they all would have to say: 'Hail King Douglass. For he might just be the greatest person ever.' Then my response would be: 'I do only what I can, only for my fans.' I can see it now."
You really put a lot of thought into this haven't you?
"Ever since I was a little boy. Anyhow, you bring up a good point though. I would never sign autographs, I think they are pointless."
So I am guessing that this is the topic for this week's Not Fatal Fridays?
"I knew you were not as dumb as the way you sign your name on your posts suggests."
"If you ask me running up to someone and asking for their autograph serves no real purpose. All it does is prove that you saw the person. Why get them so sign some piece of cheap merchandise when you can just take a picture? You will look equally as stupid jumping up and down waiting for this butt hole to sign your $15 limited edition shirt that everyone else has or standing there with your arm stuck in the air trying to get a decent shot of that douche. So why not just take the easy way out and snap 100 pictures just to get 98 pictures of waving arms, 1 picture of the side of his/her nose, and 1 picture of his/her back as he/she gets back on their ridiculously huge tour bus/team bus/Maybach/private jet...you get the picture."
Well some people like that kind of thing. Some people just enjoy having something that their favorite person signed. There is nothing wrong with that.
"Yeah right. It is never possible to read what those simpletons write anyway. They just scribble the same nonsense over and over and call it an autograph. Also, there is no reason to get someone's autograph unless you are pretty sure that it will be worth something in the future. For you to get Ja Rule's autograph right now will be pointless. Unless he discovers the cure for AIDS or can solve world hunger, his (and many others) autograph will be as worthless as one of those cologne/perfume inserts that you find in magazines. As a matter of fact, I can not think of too many people's signatures would be worth anything now. Readers, if I am wrong, please correct me. You folks tell me one person who has a signature that could be worth something."
Call off the dogs Douglass, I think you made your point.
"So folks remember, getting an autograph from some clown is not fatal, therefore it's no big deal."