8/1/08

Can I REALLY get mad???

When you stay in the middle of nowhere, sometimes you get bored and there is nothing to do. One day my mom and I had a conversation that went something like this:
sTeW - Hey ma!
Mom - Hey punky (one of her pet names for me)! What's up?
sTeW - I do not know what it is, but it feel like my life is missing something. I need to do something more with my time.
Mom - Well maybe you should get out there and start volunteering again. I was doing it when I was your age and it is well worth the experience. Also you meet new people and learn new things.
sTeW - You know what ma? That is a fantastic idea. I am going do do that.

So purely out of the kindness of my heart I begin to search for a place to do community service. I have always like working with kids, so this is an obvious choice for me. I send out a few emails, and I get a response from a lady who works at this "SUMMER FUN CAMP." This is perfect.

"So you expect us to be impressed by you or something? You want us to applaud your so called good deed? Plenty of people do community service and do not want any kind of praise. They do it because they want to give back to the community. They want to pass along their knowledge so that the next generation can become as good as, or better than their generation. You should be ashamed of yourself."


You obviously have no storytelling abilities Dougie. You have to set up the main story by giving some back story. Imagine watching a movie and goes right to the climax. You would be left with a million questions.


"That's why I don't tell stories. I spit facts. No more. No less. And the name's DOUGLASS. Call me Dougie again and we are gonna have problems!!!"


HA! HA! HA! Right. Well you enjoy your 'fact spitting'. I am going to continue with my story.


This "SUMMER FUN CAMP" is run out of a school in a small town about 6 or 7 minutes away from where I live. I have been going there for about 3 weeks now, and I must say that I really love it. The kids there are ages 5 - 12. Going there brings back all of these nostalgic memories of being a child. But there is one downside, and this brings us to the purpose of this post. That downside is:


At least one kid says something racist to me EVERYDAY.


If you did not know, I am in RURAL Pennsylvania. Do I need to elaborate? Did not think so. I can not get mad at these kids for what they say, I can not even explain to them why what they are saying is racist. Remember, I am just a voluenteer. Here are some examples:

Situation: We are at the pool. One of the older kids is telling me about his parents, and one of his lackeys is standing next to him. We will call the kid I am talking to Ringleader, and his lackey.....let us just call him Lackey.

Ringleader: My mom is white and my dad is black. But they got divorced a few years ago. It's cool though.
sTeW: Dang man that's too bad. How are you holding up?
Ringleader: I am fine with it. I am staying here with my mom right now.
Lackey: Yeah.....my mom is white and my dad is white.
Ringleader: Thanks, we can see that.
Lackey: I wish I were black though.
sTeW: *thinking* Here we go
sTeW: No you don't
Ringleader: *looking at me* Why not?
sTeW: I'm not going to get into all of that. He just does not want to be black.
Lackey: I want to be black because of football. All of the good players in the NFL are black.
sTeW: *looks down at kid*
sTeW: *begins laughing & shaking head*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation: Sitting and doing arts and crafts. Working with Fusion Beads. (You can make all kinds of cool stuff. Just put the beads on the template and use an iron to fuse them together) I make a star with a bunch of different colors on it. I am sitting there with a bunch of kids, but one decides to drop this little piece of knowledge on me. We will call her Lion Tamer.

sTeW: Aw man. I should have made the part in the middle red, black, and green.
Lion Tamer: What does that mean?
sTeW: Those are the colors that represent Africa.
Random kids: Cool. I did not know that.
Lion Tamer: Yeah well do you know what the colors white, black, yellow, and red mean?
sTeW: *thinks*
sTeW: *not expecting anything remotely racist*
sTeW: I do not know. What does it mean?
Lion Tamer: White is for white people. Black is for black people. Yellow is for Chinese people. Red is for Indians.
(uncomfortable silence)
(all eyes on me)
sTeW: *laughs uncontrollably*
sTeW: That could be the most racist thing I have heard in a while
Lion Tamer: My mom told me that.
sTeW: *shakes head*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation: We could be doing anything, anywhere. A couple of the girls have said this. We will call one of them Legs, and the other Iron Face.

sTeW: *sitting & talking* or *sitting & doing arts and crafts* or *sitting & trying to stop kids from sitting on me*
Legs: *rubs my head like a vomit stain* Your hair is fuzzy!!!
Iron Face: *rubs my head equally as hard* Yeah it is fuzzy!!!
Both: *laugh like they were watching Hannah Montana*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

Situation (My personal favorite): I am there for maybe 20 minutes and I am watching these kids do Bead Buddies. (It is just string and beads and the kids make animals and necklaces and bracelets. You get the idea) I get approached by this little 5 or 6 year old girl. She is evil. We will call her Carrie. (Who gets the movie reference?)

sTeW: *envious because I am having a hard time with Bead Buddies*
sTeW: Can someone help me? I am terrible at this.
Carrie: *turns to me and smiles* Are you allergic to chocolate?
sTeW: What?!? No. I am not. Why do you ask?
Carrie: *still smiling* Because you are brown, and brown people are allergic to chocolate.
sTeW: *literally ROFLMAO* I have to write this down.
sTeW: *still laughing... manages to get off of the floor and go into kitchen where phone is located*
Random Counselors: sTeW, what's so funny?
sTeW: These kids say something racist everyday.
Carrie: *followed me and stands at the door*
sTeW: *points at Carrie* Her.
Random Counselor: What did you say to sTeW?
Carrie: *still smiling, repeats entire conversation*
Random Counselor: Well why do you think they are allergic to chocolate?
Carrie: Because they are ugly!!!
sTeW: *returns to floor, and continues to LMAO*
(after a side conversation with the Counselor)
Carrie: I was just kidding. *skips away*
sTeW: *incapacitated by laughter, takes a short nap on the kitchen floor*
This has become pretty lengthy. I just wanted to set the mood for the conversation that is to come. You know I can not just give you a situation without wanting to talk about it. Next time we will get to the heart of the matter. So enjoy this, and until next time remember:

Control the pet population, have you pets spayed or neutered.

~sTeW~

22 comments:

niki.mac said...

WOW!! Yea kids are a trip... I get some crazy comments from my students sometimes too... Glad you don't let it get to you tho and its so good that you're volunteering!!

kayellejaye said...

At least you can laugh about it. You know kids don't know no better. It's the parents you need to worry about.

I'm mad at those names tho. Lion Tamer and Iron Face? LOL.

Taryn "Skinny Genes" B. said...

wow, thats one hell of a convo that you had with that random kid. It really is the parents though. They insteal these things in children.

My aunt is a dark skin lady and she was in the supermarket and this little white girl kept looking at her. So the little white girl turned to her mother and said "mommy, why is that lady chocolate?" (she was referring to my aunt). Well the little girl's mother allowed my aunt to talk to her and basically explain to her the reason why she was "chocolate".

Lina said...

Wow...kids are such sponges at that time that this is the one time where they should be learning about people of other races in a way that leads them not to say racist things, so you most definitely have to blame the parents on this one. But I laughed right along with you, cause they don't really know any better. Stewie and Douglass are funny as hell too.

sopranolove said...

That was the saddest and most hilarious stuff i've heard in some time.

and I plead the blood of the lamb in the name of Jesus on "Carrie", cuz she's the devil for real. I bind that child of the Corn's spirit in the name of Jesus too. lmao!!

but why Iron face?? That killed me Son...

12kyle said...

@ stew
this was funny...and sad at the same time. kids will say the craziest things. however, it doesn't sound like there's any malice behind it and that's the beauty of it.

the one thing that you can take pride in is that you might be the only black man that they come in contact with on a consistent basis. you have a positive influence on them. and that's what counts

Just call me Shanelle said...
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ms.uncensored said...

lmaooo. i mean what can u do but laugh. it's a damn shame though. their parents are terrible for that.

karrie b. said...

oh jesus! but he wasnt lying tho.

-KB

Stew said...

@ niki - so do you throw the kids into the piano close the lid and play a bunch of notes when they say something crazy?

@kayelle - i am sure that its the parents fault

@taryn - i do not think i would have been able to stop laughing if someone asked why i was "chocolate"

@lina - glad you are enjoying "our" banter

@sopranolove - i think it is sad too. what are we gonna do about these kids

@kyle - i agree. no malice. and i am happy about that

@shanelle - beating the hell out of them will not help either, so i just took the high road

@uncensored - someone gotta teach the parents

@karrie - naw he wont. but still

Just call me Shanelle said...
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Just call me Shanelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Qucifer said...

I could not

I mean Could Not Stop laughing my butt off, Is astounding the level of STUPID of people out there today, even nasty ass kids

Chris said...

it's less a reflection on the kids, than it is a reflection of a piss-poor, closed-minded, uber-ignorant job of parenting by the adults. Children's minds can only be shaped by what they hear or see, so blame their screwed up parents. But keep volunteering, it'll be worth the hassle eventually.

PrettyBlack said...

The kids aren't racist the parents are. The kids are just ignorant.

aggienupe said...

Yo Stewart (I never call you "Stew"), just stopping by to let you know that I still enjoy reading your stuff. Keep up the good work and always continue to take the high road. Peace!

Dad

Don said...

racism is definitely alive and kicking in america. that's just the way it is, cause i doubt very seriously if it ends during my time here. that's funny what the child said about chocolate being ugly. like prettyblack i can;t see anyone thinking that unless it was a learned thought or behavior. i think racism is taught early and often and eventually it develops into a hatred when it's surfaced through the wrong acts of certain people.

again, i don't think the cycle will end.

Don said...

oh, my bad, i thought that was funny how you removed yourself from the conversation. lol.

One Man’s Opinion said...

Your ass is in too many situations, Punky. LoL

Andre said...

My tolerance for ignorant children is he same as it is for ignorant people. But I always say people don't just "turn racist" but at the same time people with ignorant (well not always ignorant, because I know my mom is kinda prejudice on some stuff) parents don't always turn out that way...

So all I can say is "each 1 teach one"

arychtexas said...

sTeW: Aw man. I should have made the part in the middle red, black, and green.
Lion Tamer: What does that mean?
sTeW: Those are the colors that represent Africa.
Random kids: Cool. I did not know that.
Lion Tamer: Yeah well do you know what the colors white, black, yellow, and red mean?
sTeW: *thinks*
sTeW: *not expecting anything remotely racist*
sTeW: I do not know. What does it mean?
Lion Tamer: White is for white people. Black is for black people. Yellow is for Chinese people. Red is for Indians.
(uncomfortable silence)
(all eyes on me)
sTeW: *laughs uncontrollably*
sTeW: That could be the most racist thing I have heard in a while
Lion Tamer: My mom told me that.
sTeW: *shakes head*
sTeW: *removes himself from the situation*

lol....i agrees with pretty black lol ....

dejanae said...

lmao
sometimes all u can do is laugh man
but for real tho
smh