Friday Night's Dream, Saturday Told...
...Will Come To Pass Before It's 5 Days Old.
I just got off of the phone with my dad. We talk everyday anyway, but I had to call him the second I woke up. I had a dream that he died. Dreams of a loved one dying always bother me, but this is the second time within a week that I had this dream. I guess the call was to check on him and make sure he was not dead, and to tell him I loved him in the event that something tragic does happen. I know there is nothing I could do if he did kick the bucket, but I want to make sure that he knows that I love him just in case.
What?!? No smart remark? No jokes?
"Well he's kinda like my dad too."
Well is that not just the cutest thing?
"Kiss my ass!"
Well I am sure that you will have something to say about this.
As expected, after having a dream like this, I woke up crying. This does not bother me because I am supposed to cry if someone I love dies.
Here's the problem...
I have been crying much more than usual lately. I am wondering if my estrogen levels are being elevated somehow because I am cry all the damn time now. For example, I went to see UP.
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
I cried when the wife died, when they showed a picture of the wife, when they showed her adventure book, when they showed the chairs they used to sit in, every single reference of the wife made me drop a few tears. If I had not focused all of my attention on choking back tears I would have on the ground sobbing with snot running down my nose gasping for air. I do not know what is happening to me.
"I think you are right. You are turning into a woman. I think you should start shopping for bras. What are you...like a 36 B? I hear Victoria Secret has a new line coming out for small breasted women. Maybe I'll pick one up for you."
When I was younger I did not cry why I watched movies. People have always said that they cried when Mustafa was killed in the Lion King, my eyes never even got moist. I think I cried when I first watched Ghost though, but most times I did not cry. Now I cry about everything. The one movie that will always get me is Meet Joe Black. The end of that movie gets me every time, even though I know exactly what is going to happen.
As I sit here and think about it (with tears in my eyes...dammit) I think I cry about movies because I do not just watch movie, I experience them. I become fully engrossed with in the world of the movie. For that time that I am watching their reality becomes my reality and I feel the emotions of the characters. What ever emotion is trying to be conveyed I feel it (as long as it is acted well. I felt nothing from You Got Served). I guess that makes me the perfect movie goer.
"So do you think you'll be a heels girl, or a flats girl? I think you'd look great in heels, they'd show off your long legs. And there's no way you can keep your hair cut like that, you need to let it grow, you don't wanna look like a tranny do you?"
The weird thing is that all this crying does not bother me. There was a time when it would, because I felt like I was they type of person that did not cry. That would not make sense because I am told that I am a dramatic & emotional person, and what dramatic/emotional person does not cry? So when you have an overly dramatic person that is also pretty damn emotional, what do you get?