Time for a recap...

This is 1/3's comment on my last post

um stew whose talking in Italics lol



wow I can say Ive never had to have my eyes dilated but in a not so literal sense I wish I could. I'm sometimes the person who thinks only my why.opening your mind to new things/experiences is a beautiful thing.

Great Post by the way:-)

Her comments, along with the fact that I KNOW I have new readers, impels me to invite everyone to read my VERY FIRST post (click here). This will answer any questions that you may have about why my posts are structured the way they are, and why my blog is name Unless It's Fatal...

Anymore questions, just ask.

~sTeW~

"D" is for Dilate

There was a time in my life when I wanted to be an ophthalmologist. I wanted to find a cure for glaucoma because it runs in my family. I think this is why I like going to the eye doctor's office. I like to learn about the eye and how the eye works. The last exam of each visit involves the doctor giving you eye drops that dilate your pupils. Lights become brighter, and it becomes harder to focus because the muscles that control the pupils are relaxed.

"I have never had to have my pupils dilated because my vision is perfect. 20/20. Too bad for you four eyes. HA HA HA!!!"

As I left the doctor's office, barely able to see because I had to squint, I began to think about what it means for something to be "dilated." I came up with this definition from the virtual dictionary in my head.

dilate v. to open wide and allow anything inside

This is not the standard definition that you will get from Webster's or Roget's , but this will suffice for my purposes.

"Would it have killed you to have opened a dictionary? God forbid someone coming here trying to learn something. You are going to send them away with false information. I will not be a part of this."

Good so maybe you will shut up for once.

I like to think that I have a dilated mind. A mind that will allow anything inside. A mind that is willing to learn any and everything. A curious mind. An open mind.

I think most people lack an open mind. People are unable to allow themselves to think outside of their conventional way of thinking. This is why it is hard to make progress in this world. Its seems that the only progress being made is in science. The ONLY reason why progress is being made in science is because people train themselves to open their minds and allow many different ideas to enter their conscience. I am not saying that ALL scientists are open-minded, but when it comes to science their minds are completely open.

I am going to stop now before I start rambling. I just wanted to put an idea into your head. Maybe you will understand what I am trying to say, maybe you will not.

Dilate YOUR mind.

Maybe something good will happen.

~sTeW~

Why Are You Here?

For some, blogging is a method of venting and getting their frustrations out of their bodies. Others use blogging as a way to convey information. Whether it be about the latest celebrity gossip, or how to fix a car, everyone blogs for a reason.

"I blog because you make me."

What?!?!?

"The only reason why I ever decide to write anything is because you are sitting here at this computer all of the time. I would much rather be out somewhere around people. You know I thrive off of human contact."

Well maybe if you stage a coup d'etat and seize control of my body you will get your wish. Until then, just be happy with the fact that I allow you to express yourself.

Moving on...

I like to think that I blog to provoke thought. Now, I know that have not presented you with anything that has made you reach into the recesses of your brain and pull out some deep seeded logic. This has not been my aim. I want to provoke "everyday" kinds of thoughts. The type of thoughts that would ordinarily be discussed over a glass of wine.

Have I done this? (Not rhetorical. Answer me.)

Now, on to those who read blogs. These are the people that I am most fascinated with. Why do you read blogs? In some instances, it is obvious why you do. If you want to find out who the new HOT celebrity couple is, blogs make it easy. The best recipe for chicken pot pie, there is a blog for you. New music, movies, technology, you name it there is a blog that has it. It is obvious why people read these blogs, these are not the blogs that spark my curiosity.

I am referring to the blogs like the ones that I have listed in my "Some Folks I'm Feeling" section of my sidebar. I am referring to my blog, and any other blog out there that does not serve a "specific" purpose.

Are you fascinated by the love of art that Niki and Tuesdai Noelle display on SingleBubblePop & Another Good Thought?

Do the antics of The Karrie B. & viva.la.lohan have you lusting to hear their newest stories?

Does -1-'s personalized writing style on ..::don't call it a comeback::.. make you beg for more?

Maybe it's the way 12kyle keeps it all the way real on 12th planet.

Does MsPuddin keep you thinking "Is she that wild and crazy?" when you read A Fresh Taste of Banana Puddin? Is that why you keep going back?

Does dejanae's bootleg style on Cool Glass of Dejanae make you want to be bootleg too?

I bet you want to check up on 1980 and see how his swagger search is going on SEARCHING FOR MY SWAGGER.

The cop stories on One Man's Look At This Nigger have you rolling do they not?

Journey Of A Gemini keeps us posted on the ins and outs of swag_ambassador's matriculation through this world of ours. Interesting right?

theBULLY lets us know know that you can be a bully, and still be a nice guy on Rantings of a Mad Black Man. You like that do you not?

Killer sketches, video of the day, interesting posts. What more could you ask for from Charles and My Complex Simplicities?

I know I can appreciate Knowledge of the Union's love for the rap game on Straight From The Gray Matter. Can you?

We all can not wait to see where Eb the Celeb is going to end up and the story she is going to have to tell on Renaissance Black Woman.

Is it the respect you have for kid.a's straight to the point style on through my plastic glasses i see...?

These reasons and more keep me reading what I call "Life Blogs". I like to know other people's stories. I like to know what makes someone tick.

So whatever reasons you read blogs, make sure you show love to some of your favorite bloggers, and let them know that you are there.

I just did.

~sTeW~

5 Thing You Learn When...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I Have a Thing for Quotes

As I have stated before, this igoogle thing is ruining my life.

"Get rid of it then."

I like it too much. Anyhow, one of the gadgets I have on my page is the quote of the day. I have a thing for quotes. I live my life by a set of quotes & rules.

This one was up there today, and it describes how I feel about most things. Also it goes pretty well with what this blog is all about.

When you look at yourself from a universal standpoint, something inside always reminds or informs you that there are bigger and better things to worry about.

- Albert Einstein

You tell'em Al!!!

~sTeW~

It's been a while huh???

Thanks to Niki and her damn Google Reader, I am subscribing to about 40 to 50 blogs. A lot of these blogs are written by women. I did not plan it like that, it just turns out that most of the blogs that interest me are written by women. Not only do I read the blogs, but I browse the comments that are left by other people. Again, most of the comments left, are from women.

"Sounds to me like you are trying to get deeper into the minds of women. Too bad you can't be more like me and know everything there is to know about women. That's why you never see me having any real issues, unlike yourself."

Contrary to what my misguided friend says, I never have issues with the opposite sex. I do not know why, it just turns out that way. But that is not what this is about. I have to stop letting you get me off topic.

"Without me you would just ramble on and on about crap no one cares about."

Moving on.

I have noticed something that I do not understand, and hopefully someone can help me out with. Whenever someone post about how they have not had sex in a while, there are always comments that echo the same sentiment. This is the part that I do not understand. First I will start out by saying that I understand that this is the Internet, and it is very possible that everyone is not telling the truth.

Let us pretend that no one lies for a second, and everything that goes up is truth.

If you girls out there want to have sex, then why not just do it?

I am not talking to the people who can not separate sex and emotion, so that cuts out over half of you, and I am not talking to the people who do not have casual sex, again another half of you. I am talking to the people who are comfortable with casual sex, but just are not getting any. I understand there is a lot to consider when it comes to picking a "partner", but it seems to me like it is worth the effort.

"Although I don't disagree with you sex being worth it, you have to understand the whole process from a females' point of view. I am going to walk you through this step by step:

1. Find a guy that is worthy of the "goodies" based on outward appearance alone (no clue of what they are packing, so it's like bobbing for apples)
   
2. Get the guy to notice them without giving off the wrong impression (every female is worried about looking like a ho)
3. See if the guy is worthy of the aforementioned "goodies" based on conversation and demeanor (if not, restart process)
   
   This is where every one's approach differs. Some women go straight for the kill, while other want to wait a while longer to try and get to know the guy a little better. Assuming everything goes well there are 4 things that can happen.

1. The "package" is not up to standards and gets returned to sender.
2. The "package" is not up to standards, but is accepted just for the hell of it.
3. The "package" is up to standards, but is defective. (breaks down too early or is not used properly)
4. The "package" is up to standards, and it brings you tremendous joy.

This is an annotated list, but this is basically what women go through. From what I understand the fourth option does not does not happen much."


I wonder why that is???


~sTeW~

Responses to "Average Black Man" Post

I want to thank those of you who responded to my last post. You folks gave me a lot to think about.

The first person to respond was Chris

"I think the average black man is a brother who has identified what he wants and is making a conscious effort to go get it. We all have our dreams and goals in life, but unless we act on making them happen, they just sit there. I do think that it's up to us who are doing right to make more of an effort to stand out in the crowd so that black men don't continue this poor rap that we are getting in the media (I oughtta know, I work in it around people who feel that way about us)."

Next up was Karrie B.

"the average black man is (probably) a sexist, racist, homophobic, uneducated, ignorant, drug-dealin', fast-talkin', city-slickin', skanktastic, 40-sippin', joint smokin', shuck and jive, livin-wit-his-momma-@-35 coon who talks a lot, but doesn't really say much."

Then came Niki

"i think the average Black man is wounded and disenfranchised to some degree. Although I've been exposed many Black men (including yourself) that are grindin' to have a better life later, and many hardworking good Black men (like my dad) I see that there is a greater number that are not doing either. I know too many Black men who are either lost, or just barely getting by with no long term plans."

After that was PrettyBlack

"The average black man is the same as the average white man, the average black woman, the average white woman...

Average meaning usual or normal. Period. The average black man is a usual or normal brother living to the standards of society just as anyone else.

Obama- Above average brother.

fitty- below average brother with above average paper.

Lil Wayne- below average brother with above average paper.

Any brother in college (actually going to get deegree'd is above average. Since the average is median...job...income...education.

The Karrie B described below average brothers.

Maybe you weren't looking for scientific Stew, but that's all a sister has... :-)"

Last but not least was One Man, and I would say that he knocked it out of the park

"First off, Stew. I still think you crazy and I also think you are the average black man. I think I am the average black man. I like the qualities that you posted about the average black man. I fit those, minus the unpaid parking tickets (I've gotten two and paid them in full).

The average black man is a byproduct of his society, but only when they rise above whatever negative traits that society has held over him. The average black man does not make excuses about his up bringing, he knows that his upbringing is what it is, he deals with it as the truth and is still able to get past it and go on to something better. It might not be great, but it gets him by and keeps him strong.

The average black man makes mistakes, because he his human, but not those big mistakes that will get him tossed in jail or marked for death.

The average black man understands that knowledge is power and he might choose to get a degree or he might choose to just get enough knowledge to be one step ahead of the next guy.

The average black man knows what it means to be a black man in the work a day world of our. He knows that there is hatred and misunderstanding of his race and yet he moves past that. He realizes that no one but he and God has power over his destiny in life. Furthermore he does not see his sex or his color as being "two strikes against him" because he considers it an honor to be a black man in this world and even more of an honor to be a black man who can succeed in this world.

The average black man does not let the weight of the world hold him down long, because he knows that he is strong and that no matter how hard it gets, someone else has it harder and he knows that he is blessed to still be granted the opportunity to live one more day.

The average black man loves his people to the point that he can criticize them for the stupid and deadly things they do and say and know that he does so out of love and not out of hate or self loathing.

I believe the average to black man to be all of this and so much more. And from one average black man to another, I think you for writing this post.

Sincerely, my brother."

Again...Thanks everyone.

~sTeW~

The Average Black Man

(To anyone who is new to my blog I would suggest that you read my first post so that you are not confused about what is going on here. I can not have you folks thinking I am crazy.)

So I have decided to take a break from working on my research to get a few ideas out of my head. After reading -1-'s latest post it reminded me of conversation I had recently.

"Who were you talking to?"

That is what I can not remember. I do not know whether I was talking to someone on the phone, or if I was just having a conversation with myself.

"I'm pretty sure you and I had this conversation."

Alright then....I was having this conversation with myself.

"Exactly."

Anyhow, we were discussing who/what the "average black man" was. So I decided to do a Google search. I typed in "average black man" and got nothing useful. In most cases I am a cynic, but when it comes to the state of black people I am more of an optimist.

I would like to say that the average black man...
-is educated with a decent job
-does not have much more than a few unpaid parking tickets on his rap sheet
-knows how to conduct himself in public
-knows how to treat women
-is able to take care of his responsibilities (whatever they may be)
-is not the ANIMAL the media portrays them to be

I would like to say those things, but experience is telling me that these things are not true.

"But can you assume that all of these things are their fault? What happened to the 'product of their environment' speech that you used to give? I told you then that that was some nonsense. We know of too many success stories that negate that argument. Hell, just look under your roof. There go two success stories right there. Then look at it from the other side. We also know plenty of people that don't have the excuse of 'I grew up in the hood' that still ended up on a bad path. If you ask me it all comes down to the decisions that you make."

Sometimes it can not be helped, but is that a valid excuse for an entire sub-group of people? How long are we going allow ourselves to continue this decent into nothingness? It is obvious what the rest of the world thinks about us. We see it everyday in the media, and on the streets. The entire world is scared of us. Not because of anything positive that we do, but because of the negativity that is cast upon us. Although I could go on and on about this, I will not. The point I am trying to get across is obvious.

I am not trying to get on my "soapbox" and talk down on anyone, I do not want you folks thinking that. I am simply posing a question.

What is the average black man?

~sTeW~