The Reason

Unless it's fatal...It's no big deal.

This is really how I feel about most things in my life.  I try not to worry myself with thing that do not directly affect me.  To some people this attribute is very annoying because to them I do not care about them and most things that they do.  I can not argue against that, because most time this is definitely the case.  Another great fact about the way I operate is that I tend not to get upset/angry about anything.  The worst I will ever get is really annoyed.  Some could argue that annoyance can be equated to anger, I rebut that by saying that anger tends to stick around while annoyance comes and goes.

"You're rambling again.  Could you please get to the point."

All of that to say, I truly do not care about what people do or say, but I do tend to concern myself with WHY they do or say the things they do.  To me the REASON is much more important than than the action itself.  For example, how many times have you taken your frustration out on someone who did not deserve it?  Everyone has done it at least once, and they have been forced to apologize to the person who received the misdirected WRATH of an angry person.  After you apologize and explained why you were feeling the way you were, I am sure they recipient of said anger quickly forgave you and you continued watching Fresh Prince reruns and eating ice cream.

In a way I think this make me a little too forgiving sometimes because in the past I have allowed people to say some off the wall stuff to me, but forgave them because their frustration did not stem from me.  I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.  On the other side of the coin, I have written people off completely for something very minor because of the REASON why they did it.  I truly believe that you can do some very horrific things and it be valid because of the REASON why you did it.  This make me think of the upcoming movie Law Abiding Citizen.  From what I gather from the previews, it seems as if a guy kills the people who killed his family.  And I think he does it in a pretty gruesome way.  In my head, and I am sure in most people's heads, killing someone who killed your family deserves a standing ovation, not life in prison.

"It seems to me that trying to figure out why someone does something is a waste of time.  Most of the time people do things 'because they want to' and that is basically it.  9 out of 10 times people's gut reactions are they way they really feel.  I would much rather go off of someone's first response than give them an opportunity to talk their way out of it.  Mom & Dad always told us to THINK about what you are going to say before you say it."

Though I do not LIKE most people, I have always been interested in studying people and understanding how individuals work. 

I guess this is just a part of that.

NEXT UP.... PATTERNS

~sTeW~

About to go private....

But not for too long. Normally when people go private its because they want to be more candid or because someone is reading stuff that they were not meant to see. Me on the other hand, I am going to be job hunting soon, and I know there are some topic covered on a few of my posts that could be slightly offensive to some people.

Therefore, I am going private. So, those of you who would like to continue reading post your emails in the comments so that I can add you to the list.

I doubt I will be getting many since I have been M.I.A. recently, but it is still polite to offer. I will leave this up for about a week or so, then I'm gone.


~sTeW~

The Blind Girl

My granny sent this in an email to me the other day.

There was
A blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
There for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her
boyfriend.



He asked
her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.



Her
boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'



This is
how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who
was always by their side in the most painful situations.



Life Is a
Gift



Today
before you say an unkind word - Think of someone who can't
speak.



Before
you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone
who has nothing to eat.



Before
you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone
who's crying out to GOD for a companion.



Today
before you complain about life - Think of someone who went
too early to heaven.



Before
whining about the distance you drive Think of someone who
walks the same distance with their feet.



And when
you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the
unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your
job.



And when
depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on
your face and think: you're alive and still
around.



Damn...

~sTeW~

Recap: My trip to Africa

After careful consideration, and Niki's poking and prodding, I have decided to put up a few pictures from my trip to Africa. They are only from Ghana, I did not take any in South Africa. Like I said before you want to know what Johannesburg looks like, look out your window. Time to get started.




We rode by this building everyday and everyday I wondered what the hell it was, so I decided to ask. Apparently this is the President's house. As you can see, no matter where you are, the president lives in luxury.



Speaking of the president, this is him and Obama on a billboard. They were really excited about his visit. These billboards and countless other posters were up all over the city. (By the way, I was in Accra)

This was another billboard that was up. Same problem, different continent.






These are just picture of the ENDLESS line of shops that were EVERYWHERE. These folk know the true definition of hustle. Americans do not hustle nearly as hard as these folks. If you are wondering, I did get express written consent from all of these people to have their pictures on my blog.

"No you didn't. You liar."

Shut up.





Hotel room and bathroom. Nothing spectacular, just a regular room.




This was the beach right behind the hotel. From the video it looks really nice, but the sand was littered with trash. I was going to go down there, but I did not know what was among all of the rubbish so I just kept my distance.


Two more of the Obama posters. There were also some that had Michelle on them, but I could never seem to get a good shot of it. We always seemed to be moving when we passed hers.



The top picture is a some of the money in Ghana. They are called Cedis (pronounced See-Dees). The bottom is a excerpt from the hotel handbook that I found particularly amusing. If you can not read it, the funny part to me says 'Please do not tempt the staff by leaving your valuables unsecured'. To me, they are trying to say that it is my fault that the staff wants to steal and if they do steal it is my fault because I tempted them.

Well that is all for now. There are more pictures and I am sure that I will post more. Until then, enjoy these and ask questions if you want to know anything more specific. I am now a expert on Ghanaian culture because I was there for 3 days.

~sTeW~

Speechless

I came across this video the other day. I really do not know what to say about it.



The worst thing about this is that he is a pastor and kids are hearing this. He is saying that it is okay to HATE someone. I am sure there is a book somewhere that says that you are not supposed to hate someone.

"If someone had said this during the Bush administration they would've called him unpatriotic, unamerican and every other 'un' word out there. But since Obama has taken over, stuff like this flies under the radar. I wonder why that is?"

The world we live in...

~sTeW~

I'm Ashamed of Myself

2 MONTHS!!!

It has been 2 MONTHS since I updated this damn thing. I can not believe that I have been this lazy. How can I ever call myself a blogger?!? I can not....can I?

"I'm disappointed in you everyday."

You are no better than me. You did not make an attempt to write on this thing either. So we are in the same boat.

"Let's not forget that we are the same people."

Even still, you did not try to motivate me/us.

Anyhow...

I know I was supposed to post pictures of my travels this past summer, but after going through them I realized that I did not have anything really interesting to show. Also, most of what I have is video so it would be hard to distinguish what is going on. The pictures I do have are only of the work that I did while I was Ghana. If you are at all interested let me know, I will put a few of them up.

That is all for now. This is me forcing myself back into the blog world.

Hope I can keep it up this time.

~sTeW~

Thank God for a safe return

I am back home now. Got in yesterday afternoon. I am still pretty tired, so I will not write much. I really enjoyed my trip and both Ghana and South Africa are beautiful places. I did not take any pictures in South Africa because I did not see anything that was worth taking a picture of. Meaning that looking around Jo'Burg is like looking around your city.

Anyhow, I will be updating soon.

Stay tuned.

~sTeW~

I'm In GHANA!!!!

THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I still can not believe I am in Ghana. I am staying at this hotel that is right one the beach. I am sitting here with my adviser and I can hear the waves crashing. My trip has been so crazy, filled with laughing, crying, overnight stays in airports, and monkeys. I can not wait to let you all know about it.

Hope all is well with everyone.

(One of the seismometers were in a game reserve, that's where I got the pictures of the baboons.)

~sTeW~

My Next Two Weeks

I will be gone for the next two weeks. Hopefully I will be able to post, I am assuming I will be able to since I will be taking my laptop with me.

I will be spending one week in each of these countries. 10 points to the person who can tell me where I am going.

"Great news!!! I'm coming too."

This should be an interesting trip.

~sTeW~

Bet You Never Thought About This

One aspect of my personality that I really love is my attention to detail. I tend to catch small details about people and/or situations that help me put together the entire story. I am like Sherlock Holmes, just without the pipe, hat, sidekick, and burning desire to help other people. For example, whenever I am riding in the car with my mom and there is an accident, she always tells me to look and see what happened.

"Damn you are just so full of yourself. She don't ask you that because she thinks you are a master at solving puzzles, she asks you because she is driving and she can't look and figure it out herself."

So answer me this smart ass, why did she tell me to look when I was younger and all four of us was in the car and my dad was driving?

"She never wore her glasses then. And back then your eyes were good, not like now where you have like 20/200 vision. Get off of yourself."

I can not get credit from you for anything can I?

"Not when you try to make yourself out to be a superhero or something."

Regardless of what Douglass says, I can almost always look at a situation and figure out the order of events.

On the other hand, there are many things in the world that I, and most people, tend to miss. Today I was sitting outside eating lunch at this bar/lounge. There was a chalk board that had the lunch special on it. As I was sitting there eating, I saw the waitress erase the sign and write the dinner special. To most people, you (reader) included, this is not very interesting to you, but to me it is very fascinating. These are one of the elusive things in life that you know happen, but you rarely get a chance to see it happen. There are many more things that are just like this.

• Billboards being put up
• The time change on a digital clock (unless you sit and watch it)
  
• A bird crap on someone's car
• A 18 wheeler blow a tire
• A tree fall naturally
• A tree fall on a house
  
• Lightning striking
• A cat catch a mouse
• A dog bury a bone
• Someone change the gas prices

You get the point.

I am always excited when I see things like this, I do not know why, but I stop and stare when these events unfold before me.

"Do you not have anything else to write about?"

Can you come up with any other examples? I would love to hear them.

~sTeW~

Suggestions Anyone???

Thanks to Niki, I have had Google Reader for a while, and I have a list of blogs that I subscribe to. At its maximum I was subscribe to about 40 blogs. Recently I went to every blog on my list to figure out why most of them had not had any new posts for a while. Most of them have either been deleted or have been switched to invite only. Now I am left with about 20 or so blogs to read, most of which are still up, but the blogger does not write consistently.

So I need help from all of my blogs friends out there. I need some good blogs to read. If the blog is all about how much men suck and all of the terrible relationships that the blogger has been in, I am not interested. I would like for it to be interesting, and about something.

"Are you looking for blogs, or writing a personal ad? What other qualities would you like in you new 'lover'?"

I can not help it if I want to read a certain kind of blog. Everyone has preferences, even when it comes to the type of blogs they want to read.

"I find it funny that your preferences sound a lot like you looking for a date on Craigslist."

Either way, I need new blogs to read.

HELP!!!

~sTeW~

She Is SO Annoying!!!

"Who are you talking about? You don't deal with any women (personally I think you're gay) so what the hell are you talking about?"

I think I can say without a doubt that my mom is the MOST ANNOYING person on the planet. She has the uncanny ability, like most moms do, to annoy the hell out of me with three words. Sometimes she baits me into arguments only to laugh in my face because she knows that she was able to irritate me.

"Well if you were not such a emotional baby then that would not happen."

Her latest exploit has been at the expense of my blog. As you can see I have changed how it looks. My original banner is gone and I have a new background. Personally, I like the new look. Change is a good thing. Like rearranging your room, it makes you feel like you are in a completely different place.

But...

Leave it up to my mom to tell me about how much she hates it because the picture of me and my brother is gone.

Annoying Woman: Where is the picture of you and Dee?
Me: It's gone.
Really Annoying Woman: Why?
Me: It's time for a change.
Irritating Woman: That was your trademark.
Me: I do not have a trademark.
Really Irritating Woman: Well, I like the other one better.
Me: Nobody asked you!!!

So I told her that I would ask my readers whether or you all like the changes or not. If more people say that the old way was better, then I will go back to that.

So let me know.

Mom I hate you.

~sTeW~

Friday Night's Dream, Saturday Told...

...Will Come To Pass Before It's 5 Days Old.

I just got off of the phone with my dad. We talk everyday anyway, but I had to call him the second I woke up. I had a dream that he died. Dreams of a loved one dying always bother me, but this is the second time within a week that I had this dream. I guess the call was to check on him and make sure he was not dead, and to tell him I loved him in the event that something tragic does happen. I know there is nothing I could do if he did kick the bucket, but I want to make sure that he knows that I love him just in case.

"..."

What?!? No smart remark? No jokes?

"Well he's kinda like my dad too."

Well is that not just the cutest thing?

"Kiss my ass!"

Well I am sure that you will have something to say about this.

As expected, after having a dream like this, I woke up crying. This does not bother me because I am supposed to cry if someone I love dies.

Here's the problem...

I have been crying much more than usual lately. I am wondering if my estrogen levels are being elevated somehow because I am cry all the damn time now. For example, I went to see UP.
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
I cried when the wife died, when they showed a picture of the wife, when they showed her adventure book, when they showed the chairs they used to sit in, every single reference of the wife made me drop a few tears. If I had not focused all of my attention on choking back tears I would have on the ground sobbing with snot running down my nose gasping for air. I do not know what is happening to me.

"I think you are right. You are turning into a woman. I think you should start shopping for bras. What are you...like a 36 B? I hear Victoria Secret has a new line coming out for small breasted women. Maybe I'll pick one up for you."

When I was younger I did not cry why I watched movies. People have always said that they cried when Mustafa was killed in the Lion King, my eyes never even got moist. I think I cried when I first watched Ghost though, but most times I did not cry. Now I cry about everything. The one movie that will always get me is Meet Joe Black. The end of that movie gets me every time, even though I know exactly what is going to happen.

As I sit here and think about it (with tears in my eyes...dammit) I think I cry about movies because I do not just watch movie, I experience them. I become fully engrossed with in the world of the movie. For that time that I am watching their reality becomes my reality and I feel the emotions of the characters. What ever emotion is trying to be conveyed I feel it (as long as it is acted well. I felt nothing from You Got Served). I guess that makes me the perfect movie goer.

"So do you think you'll be a heels girl, or a flats girl? I think you'd look great in heels, they'd show off your long legs. And there's no way you can keep your hair cut like that, you need to let it grow, you don't wanna look like a tranny do you?"

The weird thing is that all this crying does not bother me. There was a time when it would, because I felt like I was they type of person that did not cry. That would not make sense because I am told that I am a dramatic & emotional person, and what dramatic/emotional person does not cry? So when you have an overly dramatic person that is also pretty damn emotional, what do you get?

Water faucet.

~sTeW~

The Good Thing About Dreams

For the better part of my life I did not dream, and if I did all I saw was a tunnel of colors. I always wondered why I did not dream. Since dreams are an extension of the subconscious, logic would tell you that I did not have much going on in my subconscious. This theory makes sense because when I was younger I did and said any and everything that came to mind. (I am glad I grew out of that. Almost got my butt kicked in middle school. Remind me later to tell you that story.)

"I dream a lot. Mostly about women, partying, flying, women, superpowers...you know, all of the normal stuff."

Now, on the other hand, I dream all of the time. Most of my dreams are about running. Either I am running away from something/someone, or I am running to catch up to something/someone. Very rarely I dream about sex, which is weird due to the fact that 75% of my thoughts have some type of sexual innuendo wrapped up inside of them. On a more disturbing note, some of my dream would suggest that I am suffering from the Oedipus Complex. (Look it up if you are lost)

"You get more and more pathetic the more I get to know you. The only way you have sex....IS IN YOUR DREAMS!!!!! Ha!!! So many jokes could go with that, but I'll let you wallow in your self pity without my help."

Dreams can be helpful to some people though. For example, someone who is having a hard time dealing with the loss of a loved one, if they are reunited with that person in their dreams then it could make the grieving process a little bit easier.

Last night I was reunited with an old friend from my undergrad. We came in at the same time but he was slightly older than I was. He might just be the coolest melanin-free guy I have ever come across. He was a simple guy from a rural part of North Carolina. You can not say this about most people, but he really DID NOT see color, EVER. We spent countless nights in the Physics Lounge talking about everything under the sun when we should have been doing homework. After he graduated, with a ~3.5 GPA in Physics, he decided to join the Peace Corps. I have not seen him since. Every now and again I have spoke to him on FB or and email, but it is few and far between. I know it sounds like I am talking about my love affair with a woman, but he and I got to be really good friends, and sometimes you miss your friends...get off my back!!!

"I always knew you liked guys."

So where ever you are Swizzle, hopefully we will cross paths in the future, and if they do there is a bar somewhere with two beers with our names on them.

~sTeW~

10,000

DOUGLASS!!!! HEY DOUGLASS WAKE UP!!!!!

"It's too early for you to be yelling at me like this. What the hell do you want?"

We have reached a milestone.

"What kind of milestone could you have possibly have reached? You don't do anything worthwhile that even has milestones to reach."

That is why I said WE and not I, WE did this together.

"Well if we did it 'together' then I'm sure it's something I didn't want to be a part of."

Our blog has been visited 10,000 times, and it only took a year to do it. Our little piece of the internet has officially become a success.

"That's not much of an accomplishment. You do know that there are other blogs that probably do 10,000 visits a week? And you are happy that you got there in a year? This is one of the many reasons why I don't like you. You get excited about insignificant things, well....I guess it makes sense because you are an insignificant person."

All of Douglass' negativity aside, I am a little excited about this 10,000 visit mark. I am proud of myself for keeping this thing going for this long. Normally I lose interest in things that are on the internet, but this is something that I enjoy doing so I am going to keep on doing it.

"We are all very happy for you. I'm going back to sleep."

This calls for some kind of celebration. Better yet I think I am going to work making this place look a little better. It is time for some remodeling. I been planning on revamping the look of this blog, and this is the perfect reason to.

Stay tuned.

~sTeW~

A Different World

From the beginning of time the world has been able to stay stabilized through a series of checks and balances.  If one species got too dominant, mother nature always had a way to bring it down.  That is why there are several episodes of mass extinction in Earth's history.  This has even held true with all of the different civilizations of man.  The difference is that it is not mother nature that brought them to their end, it was other men.  On the other hand, maybe it is "nature" that was the downfall of these civilizations.  Is it not the "nature" of man to want what another man has?  Is it not the "nature" of man to want to have the world under his control?  "Nature" blesses all things with certain traits that helps them advance, but is this desire to conquer the world a blessing or a curse?

How different would the world be if we did not have the desire to claim domain over everything?  What would change if the Europeans never decided to explore and discover a "new world"?  Would there have ever been any wars?  Would there have ever been slavery? (I know slavery still existed, but I am talking about the "drag someone from their continent to a completely different continent" type of slavery)  What would the Native American be like now if Columbus and his boys did not come over here wrecking all kinds of havoc?

"That's why you are stupid.  You are taking away humans desire to learn, and human creativity.  We are naturally curious, we want to learn and explore new things.  That's what makes us such a great species.  That's what has allowed us to advance over all of this time.  Fore you to take that away mean you are turning us back into neanderthals."

I see your point Douglass.  Our curiosity and creativity is what makes us so special.  So let us explore a scenario.  We will assume that everything in history happens exactly the same way, but we will remove any instance that someone did something out of pure greed.  What events would vanish?  We would have never invaded Iraq looking for WMD A.K.A. oil.  Katrina would have been avoided because the people in charge would have minded paying the extra money to fix the levees.  The environment would be in MUCH better shape because companies would not mind paying a little extra money to dispose of waste in the correct manner.

(I know I am talking about cliche things here, but I am not a history buff.  You get the point I am trying to get across.)

"Maybe greed is the way nature intends to put us in check, along with all of the other 7 seven deadly sins.  If we were not as messed up as we are we would be thriving.  Not just as a country, but as a entire species.  It human were able to set aside egos and greed we could all come together and do some truly remarkable things."

The sad thing is that this will never happen. So in essence, human will probably never reach their full potential because we are physically incapable of the whole before the individual.

The question always remains: The world would be different, but would it be better?

I think it would be.

~sTeW~

30 Years is a LONG Time

The American Revolution lasted 8 years.

The Civil War lasted 4 years.

World War I lasted 5 years.

World War II lasted 6 years.

The Vietnam War lasted 15 years.

My parents marriage............ 30 years and still going strong.

It is a funny thing to think about.  My folks have been married for almost as long as all of America's wars combined.  That is a really long time.

Over the years I have seen my folks argue the same way that all couples do, but never have I seen them at the point where they were ready to give up.  They always said that no matter how mad they got at each other that me and my brother were the most important thing, and they would always love each other.  I remember a few times I would ask if they were going to get a divorce after a big fight, their response was always the same, "Where am I gonna go?".  We would always have a good laugh off of that.  I assume that they would have some angry make-up sex or something to get over it because the conflict would never last more than a day.

They are such an odd couple.  My mom was born and raised in Harlem, NY and my dad was born and raised in Goldsboro, NC.  Those places are as far as opposites as you can get.  My mom is loud and obnoxious, my dad is quiet and reserved.  My dad has more of a logic and numbers mind, my mom is very creative.  Here is where it starts to get weird, my dad is the emotional one while my  mom is the hardass.  For the most part I can be completely relaxed around my mom while with my dad I have to watch what I say and do.  At the end of the day, their strange relationship has made it 30 YEARS, so whatever they are doing they are doing a great job.

As I have gotten older I have seen their love grow stronger.  I would venture to say that they are in love more now than ever.  It is probably because my brother and I are out of the house and they get to spend more time together.  I could not ask for a better set of parents, and I love them both with all of my heart.

With that being said, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD.

"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY."

See, even Douglass can get in the spirit.

~sTeW~

Not Fatal Fridays!!!

"I'm really hoping this does not sound too insensitive.  No wait...I really do not care.  I'm getting absolutely sick and tired of hearing about the damn swine flu.  The way I see it, those who are catching it here  in the US are going out looking for it.  It makes no sense to me how this all of a sudden pops up."

Hold up Douglass, that is EXTREMELY insensitive.  People are out there dying because of this thing, and you want to mock those who are catching it?  That is a little low, even for you.

"I'm sorry, but it just does not make any sense to me.  I'll say that I am completely ignorant to the history of the S.F. but it is just hard for me to believe that this kind of thing happens all of a sudden.  Do you want to know what I really think?"

I am sure I am not going to like where this is going.

"If you ask me it's the government testing out a new strain of some new killer disease.  If you look at where these MAGIC pandemics first pop up it is never in the US.  They always start in some far away country then make its way here.  It's inevitable for it to make it to the US but it is a calculated risk that the government takes into account."

Why is everything that happens a government conspiracy?

"The government has ultimate power.  Yeah there are checks and balances, but there are ways to get around that.  We all watch enough movies to know that.  There are those people out there who love the country so much that they have no problem unleashing a deadly flu out into the world for the sake of 'patriotism'."

You are just ridiculous.

"Sure I am.  But what I want all you to remember is that:

Swine flu is not 'fatal', therefore it's no big deal."

±DoUgLaSs±

Black History

"I don't think it's fair that Stew always has me do posts about sex or something else stupid.  So I decided to go behind his back and post something that has some substance.  I can't have the world thinking I'm some kind of pervert, or that I'm an idiot."

But you are pervert, and an idiot.  What is wrong with telling the truth.

"And you wonder why I am always tormenting your ass.  Just shut up and let me handle this."

Go for it. Now I get to take a nap.

"If there is one thing that Stew & I wished we studied more of, it's black history.  We know all the basic stuff like George Washington Carver's peanut, and Rosa Parks, but there are little details that we don't know that we would like to know.  Every now and again we come across a piece of information and we think 'I didn't know that, but it feels like I should have'.  Lately we have been gathering information on black history so that one day we can sit down and read it.  Hopefully we will keep these plans."

Speak for yourself, I know my black history.

"I'm sure you do Stew.  But what we are happy about is that we were alive to witness MAYBE the most important event in black history, the election of a black president.  So this got us thinking.  The most important events in black history in recent years has been the civil rights movement and President Obama's election."

What about when I was born? I feel like that was a great moment in black history.

"You are insignificant."

"If you had to choose JUST ONE of those events to be alive for and participate in, which one would you pick?  Would you choose to be a part of all the protests and marches, or would you choose to attend Obama's speeches and eventual inauguration?  Would you rather be beaten and bruised by the attack dogs, police, and fire hoses, or would you rather have to deal with the "silent" racism that comes with having a black president?"

I do not think I can choose.  They are both very significant events that changed the history of the world.

"Neither can I, but I'm interested in seeing what everyone else thinks."

±DoUgLaSs±

Best Birthday in a While

Normally I am not one to get excited about birthdays.  In my eyes there really is not much to be excited about.  When I ask people what there is to be excited about, I always get the same answer:

'You should be excited to be alive for another year.'  I would be lying if I said that I am not happy to have made another year, but as you get older the fun starts to fade.

"You just like to suck the fun out of everything.  You have reached a new low. You can not even enjoy your birthday? What the hell is wrong with you?  If there is any day for you to be psyched it should be this day.  THIS IS THE DAY YOU WERE BORN DAMMIT!!!"

This is just the way I am.  I can not help it.

"You are a sad sad man."

This year is different from other birthdays in recent memory.

"So you are excited this year? What makes this year so special?"

MY BROTHER CAME TO VISIT ME!!!

I have not talked much about my brother, but he is everything you would ever want in an older brother.  He has looked out for me my entire life and we have always been best friends.  I do not think I could ask for a better role model.  

What makes this visit special for me is that normally when I go home it is for special occasions and he is always with his daughter so we do not have much time for just us to hang out.  While he is here we will have plenty of time to hang out alone.

Well...today's my birthday and I am not going to sit here and type on this computer as the day wastes away.  

Until next time.

~sTeW~

Night Owl...Isn't that a little redundant???

"What are you still doing up?  Don't you have to teach at 10 in the morning?"

I did just get finished grading papers, but you would not know that because all you ever do is sleep.  If you are not eating, drinking or watching TV then you are sleep.  You are probably the most worthless person I know.

"This may be true, but what would you do without me?  You would never have any fun.  You would stuck in you lame ass lifestyle.  I bring excitement to your life and you know it."

Go back to sleep.

A little known fact about me...I hate sleeping.

If I could live the rest of my life and never have to sleep again I would.  I think it started when I was younger because I would never dream.  If I remember correctly all I would ever see was black, or just an assortment of colors.  As I got older I started to dream more, and I started remembering my dreams.  This is where the problems start.

I have an overactive imagination, and the best place for all of wildest fantasies to play out is in my dreams.  For example, the one thing I REALLY want to be is a superhero.  We all know that "superpowers" do not exist, but I still would love to have one...or some.  So I had a dream that I could shoot lightning from my fingertips.  I was very excited by this.  It was not until the next day that I realized that I DID NOT have superpowers and it was all just a dream.  Which brings us to my next issue with dreaming, they ALWAYS feel so real.

I do not know what it is like for other people's dreams, but if I had to guess, I would guess that my dreams feel more real than anyone else's.  I feel like I am actually thinking and making decisions in my dreams.

(Does that happen to any of you?)

Sometimes I actually wake up tired from all of the excitement of my dreams.  If I am going to wake up as tired as I was when I went to sleep, then what is the point of sleeping.

To be honest there is no real benefit to being up all night.  The one thing that I HATE the most about being up late, is that there is NEVER anyone up at the same time as me.  Here it is 4 in the morning, and I am betting that most of you are nestled tightly in your beds hugging on your significant other, or if you are single, a body pillow with the cologne/perfume of your latest escapade dancing across your nose. Those of you who are up are penetrating/getting penetrated by your significant other, or if you are single, FACE DEEP in a brand new escapade.

"Whoa whoa, hold your horses there cowboy.  Aren't you starting to go a little off subject here?  I thought you were talking about being up late, not writing a romance novel.  Get focused."

Excuse me....

Well look, all I am saying is that it sucks being up late with nothing to hold my interest.  With that being said, if you are ever up late either because you can not sleep, or you just got finished GETTING IT IN, find me.

Maybe you will tell me "how it was."

~sTeW~

Rapper Turnt Actor Turnt Crazy Person Turnt Rapping Actor

Cradle 2 the Grave...Exit Wounds...Romeo Must Die...Never Die Alone

What do these three movies have in common?

"If we don't guess will you promise not tell us?"

DMX play a big role in all of them.

"Why is that important?"

In my personal opinion, DMX is not a bad actor.  He might be one of the better acting rappers out there.  The only rappers turned actors that are better that I can think of are Common, Mos Def, and Andre 3000.  Common and Mos Def were already on a different level because "conscience rap" genre gives them a different mindset, and Andre 3000 is just a born performer. But as far as "gansta" rappers go, he is by far the best.

"That's like saying 2 is more than 1, yeah it's the truth, but does it really mean anything?"

It means a lot.  Many rappers have tried to make that transition and have not done the greatest job.  50 was ok in Get Rich or Die Trying, but did not do all that well in Righteous Kill.  Normally I like everything that Ludacris does, but his performance in Max Payne was not up to his usual standards.  LL Cool J has been in many movies, but he never really convinces me that he is the person he is supposed to be playing, I feel like he is just playing the person (though he did a really good job on the episode of House he was on).  These are just a few of the rappers that have dipped into acting, and I think DMX is better than all of them. 

On Friday night I saw Never Die Alone for the first time, and I was amazed by how good the movie was.  It solidified the fact that DMX is a really good actor and he could have had a really good career if he had not COMPLETELY nuts.

"DMX is my kinda guy.  He does what he wants when he wants regardless of what type of trouble he will get in.  How many people you know can be drunk and on drugs at an airport and still have the presence of mind to impersonate a police officer.  When I am drunk I have a hard time completing a sentence, much less trying to impersonate someone.  Even through all of his legal trouble he has still been making movie.  He will be in the Belly sequel, and he has a couple of albums coming out pretty soon.  The most interesting thing about his musical endeavors is that he will be dropping a gospel album.  This should not surprise many people since he takes time out on all of his albums to pray.  He is just a dynamic guy... troubled but dynamic."

I think I will always like DMX because It's Dark and Hell is Hot is the first rap album that I ever really paid attention to.  Before then I did not really listen to music outside of my parent's car, and all they listened to was music from the 60's 70's and 80's.  When I rode with my mom she would turn to the hip-hop station, but all she wanted to hear were R&B songs, so I was not really exposed to rap.  Only bad thing about the version of DMX that I heard is that it was edited and I had no idea.  I was going around thinking that that was the way the songs were supposed to sound.

"So you were pretty stupid even before I started coming around huh?"

If you have not seen Never Die Alone, go rent it, download it, or stream it.  Just watch it and tell me what you think.

~sTeW~

Everything Serves a Purpose

If God were to ask me:

 'Stew, if you could ask me to get rid of anything in this world what would it be?'

Without hesitation my answer would be, GNATS!!!!

"So you could not have given a more humane answer?  Like AIDS, war, or world hunger?  How about clean water for eternity?  Hell, asking him to get rid of whatever it is that make women insane would have been a better answer than gnats."

Yet again you jump in before I get to the main point.

"Please continue."

But, there is a chance that if we get rid of gnats then the world's ecosystem would be destroyed.  The fact that gnats are still living and have not gone extinct means that they serve some kind of purpose. They are a very low part of the food chain, but a part of it nonetheless.  More times than not if you mess with the food chain, humans suffer.  We can be affected directly or indirectly.

"This is not 6th grade biology, we all know about the damn food chain.  I am hoping you did not pull me out of bed to talk about the DAMN FOOD CHAIN!?!"

Lately I have been watching a lot of Fox News.  Whenever I tell someone that, the response is always the same.

'How do you watch that?'

or

'I hate Fox News.'

I do not necessarily like to watch it, but I feel like I NEED to watch it.  To me, Fox News serves a higher purpose than delivering the news for a Republican point of view.  To me, Fox News keeps me informed about how our melanin-free counterparts actually think.  The good thing about Fox News and their personalities is that they are able to say exactly what they are thinking and they do not have to worry about how it will affect their jobs or the people around them.  Of course they can say EXACTLY what they want, but they get their point across without saying the things they REALLY want to say.  You do not have to say NIGGER to call someone a NIGGER.  They do a great job reminding us that we are not that far removed from inequality, and injustice, and if we do not be careful things could go right back to the way they were.  Though all of our melanin-free counterparts do not have the same political views as those from Fox News, I think enough of them have the same social views.

Fox News should not be watched for the actual content or journalistic integrity.  They should be watched to educate yourself on how the other side of the fence REALLY feels.

Thank you Fox News for continuing to give me the inside scoop.  Please do not change how you operate, because if you do then I will have to start believing that we are in a post-racial America.

~sTeW~

Let's Recap

WOW!

Has it been a whole month since I have posted?

"That's what it's looking like."

That is really not a good look for me.  I would assume that most of my readers think that I am dead or something.

"Wouldn't that be nice."

You do understand that if I die then you cease to exist also?

"Small price to pay."

As you can see Douglass is still the asshole that he has always been, so that is one thing that has not changed.

But some things have change, and some additions have been made.  Let's go over them:

-I have decided to let my facial hair grow out.  This is pretty exciting for me because I am

 trying to see if I can fight the urge to cut it off.

-My windshield is now officially cracked.  It had a tiny crack in it for about a year and a half

 but now that tiny little crack has spread over 3/4 of the windshield.  Needless to say, I am 

 pissed, but I knew the day would come.  Damn PA winters.

-Mixtape is still coming soon.  I just need more beats.  Maybe I will drop another single 

 soon.

-I have been going to these two websites too much lately sporcle.com & mentalfloss.com.

 Both of these websites are for people who have and extensive amount of knowledge about 

 lots of stuff and want to test how much they know.  Also, if you want to learn a bunch of 

 needless stuff you can go there too.

-Looks like I am on track to get out of here in December.  Only bad thing about that is that 

 now is not the best time to be looking for a job.  The only comfort that I have is that my 

 area is highly specialized and there is a shortage of people who do what I do.

-Sadly I am WAY too invested in reality TV right now.  I Love Money, For the Love of Ray

 J, Making the Band...ect. I am very disappointed in myself right now.

-Tomorrow is my one year anniversary.  I have officially been blogging for one year.  

 Normally this would be something to celebrate, but in a year's time I have not been able to

 find 100 topics to blog about.  I need to stop taking so much time off.

-I really enjoy reading other people's blogs, but some of the people that normally read

 have disappeared (just like I did).  So I need some suggestion of some good blogs to go to.

 Someone please help me.

I think that does it.

"You are a really boring person.  You need to let me do my thing again."

From here on out...NO MORE LONG TIMES AWAY FROM BLOGGING.

We promise.

~sTeW~

My Mom's Favorite Song

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

So the plan is to drop a few songs then finish the mixtape.  I have no clue how long it will take to finish, but as you can see I have been hard at work.  So let me know what you think.  Tell me what you like what you do not like.  I am open to criticism.

To all of you harsh critics out there, might I remind you that this is not to be taken seriously.  This is supposed to be funny.  If you laugh at it, then I know I have done my job. 

Without any further ado, I give you Cleaned Up My Room performed by Azmatik. <------(that's me)

~sTeW~

My Mistake

SPRING BREAK!!!!!  

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

"Why are you so excited about spring break?"

No classes. Time to relax.  I get a whole week to myself and I do not have to stress over school.

"So what do we have planned? Maybe a trip to the beach?"

Nope.

"Are we going to go back home?"

It is not looking like we are.

"So what are we going to do?"

As of right now...nothing.  We are going to stay here.

"And do nothing?"

Yes.  That sounds about right.

"..."

Do you have a problem with that?

"I'm leaving."

Later.

So, there is my mistake.  I do not have anything to do for spring break.  It is looking more and more like I am going to be stuck in my apartment the entire week.  I would like to do something, but I just do not know what to do.  I am in a tough place right now.  I would like to go to NY, but I do not know anyone up there to show me around.  I can not just go to a place like NY without having someone show me some cool places to go.  Plus I hate going somewhere and looking like a tourist.  I would say that I am depressed, but I am just a little bored.  There is absolutely nothing to do here, when all the students leave this entire place shuts down.  I am even bored as I am writing this.  

I NEED HELP!!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME AN IDEA ABOUT SOMETHING TO DO OR SOMEWHERE TO GO!!!!

~sTeW~